Kathy.
'You've made a friend,' Lee said after the woman had gone.
She looked around the restaurant. 'It's different here now, isn't it?'
'Yeah,' he said. 'There was this feeling, in the weeks afterward, that's hard to describe exactly, but it was a kind of camaraderie-a feeling that we were all in this together.'
'I know what you mean. It was sort of like that in Philly, too.'
'And we all thought that there might be more attacks coming too-we didn't know what to expect. Where were you when it happened?' he asked.
'I'm ashamed to say. I was in the Caribbean.'
'Why be ashamed?'
'I was snorkeling in St. Thomas when we heard the news. I guess I wanted to be back here-to help in some way, you know. And instead there I was, forced to stay an extra week at Crystal Beach. Poor me-another week of fried conch, Tecate beer, and palm trees.'
'What was it like there? How did people react?'
'Disbelief, at first, and then shock. Just total, utter shock. I remember sitting around the bar that night. There was no television, but someone had brought out a radio, and we were all huddled around it, listening.'
She looked at the raindrops gathering on the windowpane. 'It's ironic, actually. One of the main selling points of this resort was that you could 'get away from it all'-you know, no TV, no phones in the rooms. We were all there because we wanted to be cut off from the rest of the world. And then this terrible thing happens, and we sit there together in the bar-I guess there were a dozen or so guests and about half that many staff-and we just sat and listened to that damn radio all night. By morning we were all on a first-name basis with each other. It was like instant bonding, you know? Like in wartime-our country had been attacked.'
'So you were all Americans?'
'One couple was Canadian, and there were two elderly English ladies traveling together. We all thought they were lovers, but they were very 'discreet' about their relationship. We called them Gertrude and Alice when they weren't around.'
'As in Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas?'
'Right.'
The waitress brought steaming plates of food and set them down on the table. Kathy poured hot sauce on her chicken-a lot of hot sauce. Lee was amazed when she took a bite and swallowed it as though it were nothing.
'Up until that night everyone had been drinking pina coladas, margaritas-frozen drinks with fresh fruit and little paper umbrellas-but that night we all ordered scotch and whiskey and gin, straight up. People weren't drinking to have fun anymore; they were drinking to calm down. It was kind of surreal. All we could pick up on this little radio was this local station that was getting a feed from the BBC. The announcer sounded really upset. It was startling to hear this very formal, stiff-upper-lip-type Englishman almost lose it on the air.'
She took a long drink of her beer and motioned to the woman for another one.
'But at least we were spared the pictures that night. Thank God for that. No one slept very much, but at least we were spared the pictures.'
'Who were you traveling with?' Lee asked, feeling an unwelcome flicker of jealousy.
'My dad. We both love to snorkel. I'm an only child, and since Mom's been gone, I guess we sort of depend on each other, you know?'
She looked at him, her eyes serious. 'Do you think that's weird?'
'No, I think it's sweet.'
She reached for the noodle dish, almost knocking over her beer. She was a bit of a loose cannon, he thought. In spite of her scientific training and precise manner in professional settings, away from her work she had an open, childlike demeanor. When she talked there was a force behind the words, a passion for the minutia of life that made him want to drink up her words.
A thought flashed into his head, unbidden: In the midst of death, there is life.
He couldn't remember where he had heard it, but as he looked at Kathy Azarian's glistening, eager face, he understood what it meant.
Chapter Thirty-five
They lingered over dinner until they were the last patrons in the restaurant. Lee pushed food around on his plate and managed to eat some, but his stomach felt as twisted as the jumbled heap of rice noodles in the house special dish.
Kathy had a healthy appetite, though, expertly plucking food from her plate with her chopsticks, placing it between her startlingly white teeth. She pierced a piece of pineapple with one chopstick and put it in her mouth.
'Mmm, I like it when they give you fruit for dessert.' She glanced at Lee's plate. 'You didn't eat very much.'
'My appetite comes and goes.' What he wasn't ready to tell her was that for six months after Laura's disappearance, he had hardly eaten at all, living mostly on liquid protein drinks.
'Hmm,' Kathy said. 'We need to put some weight on those bones.'
She thinks I'm too thin. Still, he thought the use of 'we' was promising.
'Oh, I can eat like a horse sometimes,' he said. 'Don't you worry.'
'You know better than to tell a woman you can eat a lot without gaining weight, right?'
'Yes, I think I know that much,' he said, laughing. He felt grateful for her presence-it lightened him and made his heart quicken.
Lee looked around the restaurant. The other customers had long since left, and the staff sat around one of the round tables, rolling wontons. He thought they were trying hard not to glance at him and Kathy.
'Well,' he said, 'we're keeping these poor folks up. We should pay and get out of here.'
He began to take out his wallet, but Kathy laid a hand on his wrist. 'This one is on me.'
When her fingers touched his skin, he felt the heat exchange between them, and wondered if she felt it too. If she did, she gave no sign, pulling her own wallet out of a small black knapsack. She selected a credit card and waved it at the waitress, who nodded and returned with the bill.
'Thanks,' Lee said as they walked up the crooked narrow steps and into the nearly deserted street. Since September eleventh Chinatown had suffered. The formerly robust flow of tourist dollars slowed to a thin, anemic trickle. The mayor himself was making frequent pleas to people to go down to the struggling community and spend whatever they could afford.
They stepped out into a misty evening. The temperature had soared twenty degrees in the past twelve hours, bringing with it a soft dusting of rain. The droplets hung suspended in the air, as if not quite heavy enough to fall to the ground. The yellow neon lights of a teahouse across the street were surrounded by halos, round rings of layered light shimmering like ripples on a pond.
'It's really so beautiful that it's painful, isn't it?' she said.
Oh, yes, he wanted to say. From where I'm standing, at least. But he just said, 'Yes, it is.'
They strolled in the direction of the subway. Parts of Chinatown still had the grim, gray look of a war zone. Shopkeepers were still dusting soot off their stacks of rice dishes, mahogany Buddhas, carved jade bulls, and brightly colored paper birds.
'I felt guilty, you know, not being here when it happened.'
'What could you have done?'
'As it turns out, nothing. My work is only just starting. I'm part of the body identification team.' Her sigh was a deep, ragged sound. 'Complete remains are almost unheard of-mostly it's bits and pieces. Most people just disintegrated.'
They both stared at the traffic on Canal Street for a moment. Lee glanced at his watch, surprised to see how
