The Cabin in the Woods

interferes with his enormous daily dose of steroids.”

“I eat them like candy,” Curt confirmed seriously. “Maybe, Marty, you should take a hit from the life-bong, and don’t take your finger off the life-carb till the chamber’s filled up with…” He waved at the air, losing track, searching for something, anything to help him through. “…with… with opportunity. For the love of God let me be done.”

“Yes!” Dana squealed.

“Bravo!” Jules said, clapping where she stood and spilling half of her beer. As the group’s applause continued, Holden let out a sigh of relief, smiling, and locking eyes with Dana yet again. They both looked away almost awkwardly, as if each glance was becoming more and more loaded.

That’s just the beer, he thought. And Marty’s pot fumes. But he knew that wasn’t all it was. He wondered if she’d been thinking the same as him as they’d sat listening to Jules and Curt going at it in the shower.

Marty exhaled a huge cloud of smoke.

“Thank you for opening my eyes to whatever it was you just said,” he said earnestly. “Jules! Truth or dare or lecture?”

“Let’s go dare!” she said. She and Curt were leaning on the back of the sofa now, arms around each other’s waists, and Holden could almost see the glow of love between them. He took another long swig of beer.

“All right,” Marty nodded, looking around the large room, thinking. “I dare you to make out with…”

“Please say Dana,” Curt whispered, “please say Dana… ”

“. that moose over there!” Marty said, pointing at the stuffed, snarling wolf’s head they’d all noticed upon first arriving.

Er, Holden thought, glancing from Marty to the stuffed head and back again. Maybe I shouldn’t be the one to tell him.

“Um, Marty,” Dana said, “have you seen a moose before?”

“Whatever that mysterious beast is—” “It’s a wolf,” Curt said.

“Yeah, it’s a wolf,” Holden confirmed, grinning.

“I’m living in a womb of reefer,” Marty complained quietly. “Leave me alone. Okay, beastie, creature, whatever. Jules, I dare you to make out with the wolf.”

Jules drained her beer cup in one huge glug, threw it over her shoulder and clapped her hands in an I’ll do it! gesture.

“No problem,” she said, and the group cheered.

As Jules walked away from the seating area around the fireplace and toward the stuffed animal head, she put on an exaggerated swagger, swinging her butt gently from side to side. She reached the wolf and walked on by, raising her head slightly in mock-aloofness.

Damn, she’s good, Holden thought, and he could see why Curt coveted her so much. Hot, and fun, but. But Dana still shone brightest for him. He watched her watching Jules, and enjoyed that, too.

Jules paused and looked back over her shoulder at the wolf, pointing at her chest. “Who? Me?” She cocked her head as if listening, then continued, “I am new in town, how did you know?”

The friends laughed, cheering her on with whoots and whistles. But Jules kept her back turned now; she only had eyes for the wolf. She twirled her hair around one finger and stood with a hip thrust out.

“Oh my god, that is so sweet of you to say,” she purred. “I just colored it, in fact…” That tilted head again, and she was such a good actress that her friends all went quiet, listening for the voice she pretended to hear.

“Yes, I’d love a drink, thank you,” she said. She took a step toward the wolf then tripped, stumbling slightly. “Whoops! I seem to have dropped my birth control pills all over the ground… ”

Holden clapped, the others hooted and hollered, egging her on and enjoying the great display. Dana glanced back at Holden to see his reaction, and her own eyes were alight. She turned back to Jules, and Holden checked out her back, butt, and legs where she was kneeling up on the sofa.

Jules caught his attention again, turning her back on the wolf and bending down as if picking something from the ground. She arched her back and swung her butt left and right, then stood again, backing up until the growling head was directly over her shoulder. She nuzzled the creature, cheek to cheek.

“Oh Mr. Wolf, you’re so big. And bad.” She nuzzled some more, then lowered her voice, so low that they all had to fall silent to hear what Holden was sure would be the climax of her little play. “No no no, there’s no need to huff and puff…” She turned and took the wolf’s head in her hands, thumbs stroking across the growling muzzle. “I’ll let you come in.”

And then Jules leaned in and gave the wolf a kiss so passionate that, for a moment, Holden swore they could have heard a pin drop to the floor.

Curt shouted, and the others followed, jumping to their feet and cheering, whooping and whistling. I shouldn’t have got turned on at that, Holden thought. I really shouldn’t.

Jules let go of the wolf’s head and turned to the group, performing an extravagant bow before spitting out dust, fur and the taste of who-knew what.

Holden stood beside Dana, and she leaned into him and said, “Bet Curt’s glad they got their moment in earlier in the shower.”

“Yeah,” Holden whispered back, “imagine competing with a wolf?”

Curt hurriedly poured Jules another beer and she took a swig, swilling it around her mouth before swallowing with a grimace.

“I didn’t know it was possible,” Holden proclaimed, “but I think you just officially won Truth or Dare.”

“Or Lecture!” Dana added.

“The night is still young!” Jules said. “Now then… Dana—”

“Truth!” Curt called.

Holden noticed Dana’s frown as she glanced at Curt, and immediately the atmosphere thickened a little. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.

“I’m just skipping ahead,” Curt said, suddenly realizing his misstep. “You’re gonna say ‘dare,’ she’s gonna dare you to do something you don’t like and then you’ll puss out and say you wanted ‘truth’ all along.” “Really.” Dana studied Curt, and Holden shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. Not like him to be a dick, he thought. Maybe his friend was drunker than he thought. Curt was the only person in the room he’d known before today, but suddenly he seemed like a stranger.

Curt nodded. “Or lecture.”

“Oh, no, I wouldn’t want one of those,” she said tartly.

Holden looked around at the others. Jules had a somewhat bemused expression on her face, perhaps more to do with how things had moved on so quickly from her performance than at what was being said. And Marty was frowning, his usually relaxed expression troubled. He turned from Curt to Dana and back again, and seemed about to say something.

Curt, too, shifted and raised his head a little, mouth opening to speak, before Dana cut him off.

“Okay, Jules. Dare.”

Good for you, Holden thought, and then he cried out as a huge crash! came from the corner by the kitchen. Jules screamed, Curt span around, Dana stepped back into Holden, his hands grasping her arms automatically and squeezing. She huddled back into him and that was their first embrace, her shaking, his heart pounding, and neither as a result of each other.

Even Marty jumped, though a second after the others. A cloud of ash flowed down from his joint, speckling the front of his shirt and jeans.

“What the hell was that?” Jules exclaimed.

“It’s the cellar door,” Dana said. In the kitchen and dining area, just to the left of the dining table and close to the hallway leading back to the bedrooms, a rectangle of darkness had appeared in the floor. Holden blinked a few times, as if dust was obscuring his vision, because for a moment he thought it was simply an area of blackened boards. There’s nothing below us, he thought, but then sight of the shadowy, upturned