He slipped into her with a yearning that was deep. She enfolded him with an unquestioning generosity. As they moved together, time stood beautifully still.
***
She woke, blinking in the darkness and afraid. Beside her, the bed was cool. He was gone. Panic snatched at her throat and had her rearing up. She bit back the cry and steadied herself.
He wasn’t gone—or at least he hadn’t gone far, for she was still on the ship, in his bed. With her heart pounding, she lay back and tried to think.
The way he had loved her had been so sweet, so kind, so patient. And so much like goodbye. She couldn’t cry again, Sunny promised herself as she squeezed back tears. Crying solved nothing. If she loved him, and she did, the only thing she could do for him was to be strong.
She dressed in the dark, then went to look for him.
The ship confused her. There was another cabin, smaller than Jacob’s but painted in the same pale blues. She passed through another area she assumed was the galley only because there was an empty carton of some sort of drink on a smooth, narrow counter and a metal door built into the wall that after a critical study she decided was some sort of oven.
She found him on the flight deck, sitting at the command console. His wore only his jeans. The viewing screen showed a panorama of forest and the shadow of distant ridges. He was staring through it as he spoke to the computer.
“Set coordinates for 1500 hours.”
“Preferred destination as close as possible to original departure data, time and position.”
“Estimate approximate flight time from lift-off to time warp.”
“No.”
“Jacob.”
He spun in his chair, swore under his breath. “Disengage.”
The computer screen went blank.
“I thought you were sleeping.”
“I was.” Accusations, threats, pleas, sprang to her lips. She bit them back. She had promised herself she would be strong. “You’re going back.”
“I have to.” He rose to cross to her. “Sunny, I’ve tried to find another way. There is none.”
“But—”
“Do you love your parents?”
“Yes, of course.”
“And I love mine.” He took her hand, weighed it in his. “I can’t begin to explain what we went through when we thought Cal was dead. My mother . . . She’s very strong, but when the news came that he was lost, presumed dead, she was ill with grief. Days, weeks.”
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I can only imagine how you must have felt.”
He shook his head. Those days were still difficult to speak of. “And then, when we learned the truth, they both tried to accept. He was alive, and that meant everything. But to know that they would never see him again, never know.” He broke off in frustration. “Maybe they can accept, especially when I explain to them that he’s happy here. When I tell them about the child.”
“What child?”
“Cal’s—Libby’s carrying a child. Didn’t she tell you?”
“No.” Shaken, Sunny pressed a hand to her temple. “Everything was so confused. And I . . . Libby’s pregnant.” With a little laugh, she dropped her hand “How about that? We’re going to have a niece or nephew.” It seemed right, only right, that when her world was at its darkest there should be that tiny glimmer of life, and of hope, in the future.
Yet it was that same future she was losing him to.
“Having a baby only takes nine months,” she began, trying to sound casual. “I don’t suppose you’d consider hanging around to see whether we should buy blue or pink balloons.”
It was so easy to see beyond her smile, into her eyes, where the sadness hovered. “I can’t take a chance on leaving the ship here so long—and I’ve already overstayed my projected equations. Sunny, my parents have a right, a need, to know about Cal’s life, about the child. Their grandchild.”
“Of course.”
“If I could stay . . . There’s nothing there that means as much to me as what I’ve found with you. You have to believe that.”
She struggled to remain calm while her world silently fell apart. “I believe that you love me.”
“I do. But if I don’t go back, if I don’t give them that much, I could never live with myself.”
She turned away, because she understood too well. “Once, when I was nine or ten, I wandered off. We were at the cabin for the summer and I wanted to explore. I thought I knew the forest so well. But I got lost. I spent a night under a tree. When Mom and Dad found me the next afternoon they were frantic. I’ve never seen my father cry, not like that.”
“Then you know why I can’t just turn my back on them.”
“Yes, of course.” She managed to smile as she faced him. “I’m sorry I caused such a scene before.”
“Don’t.”
“No, really, I am. I didn’t have any right to say the things I said.” But, try as she might, she couldn’t apologize for decking him. “I can’t begin to understand what it must have been like for you all these weeks. Trying to fit in and bide your time until Cal came back.”
“It wasn’t so hard. I had you.”
“Yes.” She lifted a hand to his cheek, let it fall away. “I’m glad you did. I want you to know that.”
“Sunny—”
“So when do you go?” Deliberately she moved out of reach. If he touched her, however gently, she might shatter.
“Tomorrow.”
She had to lock her knees to keep them from buckling. “So soon?”
“I thought it best, for everyone.”
She wondered that her smile didn’t crack her face. “I’m sure you’re right. But you’ll want to spend a little more time with Cal. You’ve come a long way.”
“I’ll talk to him in the morning. And to Libby,” he added. “I want to set things right with her.”
Now the smile came more easily. “They’re good for each other. You see that, don’t you?”
“I’d have to be blind not to.”
“Science and logic aside, sometimes emotions are the most accurate equations.” Feeling stronger, she held out her hand. “I’d like to stay the night, here with you.”
He brought her close, struggling not to crush her against him. “I’ll come back.” When she shook her head, he pulled her away. The passion was in his eyes again, and the anger. “I will. I swear it. I need a little more time, to test. I managed to work it out this far in only two years. With another two, I can make it smoother, until it’s as basic as a shuttle to Mars.”
“A shuttle to Mars,” she repeated.
“Just trust me,” he told her, drawing her back. “When I work it all out we’ll have more time together.”
“More time,” she murmured, and shut her eyes.
Chapter 12
She left before he awakened. It seemed the best way. She hadn’t slept at all. She had lain awake during the
