What do you mean, no? James, I just don’t understand!”
“Your dad wanted to be prom king real bad so, in revenge, he seduced my girlfriend, Marcy Denardo, at a party. Granted, Marcy didn’t need much seducing when she drank, but still. Your mom found out and got some revenge sex.”
“That’s right,” the girl remembered. “Mom, you once told me that you seduced dad’s best friend to punish him for cheating.”
James coughed uncomfortably and studied the stars on the ceiling. “That wasn’t me.”
Jasmine gave her mom a hard look. “I’m confused. Did you two do it or not?”
This was not going as James hoped, but Gina was not helping at all, so he twisted the knife. “She got to me eventually.”
Mom defended her whoring around: “I punished your dad for not marrying me like he promised. He lied about wearing a condom, so the least he could do is man up to his responsibilities. I warned him I would fuck his friends until he fulfilled his promise. If I didn’t threaten to seduce his dad, he would never have married me, you would have grown up without a father, and we would have been forever poor.”
“So that’s why grandpa looks at you like that! He thought he was going to get some.”
James fake-coughed again.
“Mother, did you fuck grandpa?”
“I was drunk and vulnerable when your dad died. And he was strong and insistent.”
“Mom! How big a slut were you?”
James patted Gina on the arm and laughed. “Pretty big! Her tits stayed larger after your birth, making her the hottest girl in school.”
“Marcy was way hotter,” Gina corrected him.
“Well, you were the hottest girl over five feet tall, then.”
Jasmine kept staring at her mother, suddenly seeing her in a totally new light. “Mom, what’s the wildest thing you ever did?”
Gina didn’t say anything, but couldn’t help but smile as her eyes rolled up accessing a wonderful memory.
James answered for her. “I don’t know if it was her wildest moment, but your dad saw her do all six blacks on the team.”
Gina sighed at the memory and crossed her legs.
“Mom, did you just purr? James, I think the bitch just purred. Quick! Scratch her behind the ears.”
“In your mom’s defense, your dad thought she was bluffing.”
“I feel so tame,” Jasmine said, suddenly sad. “I’ve never even had a threesome.”
“Would you like one? How far are you willing to go?” he asked.
Jasmine had to think that over. “I honestly don’t know. You’ve obviously been around. What do you recommend?”
“I think monogamy is easier after you’ve tried everything else because then you no longer have to wonder. Orgies, for example, have never lived up to my expectations.”
“Jesus, James.” Jasmine had to fan herself with her menu. “At this rate, you’re not gonna have to get me drunk to take advantage of me. But, out of curiosity, what’s the craziest shit you’ve ever done?”
“Six black football players,” Gina revealed, getting her revenge.
“Oral doesn’t count!” James protested.
“Then you did three of them.”
James wilted, fearing this would turn Jasmine off. “Like I said, orgies have never lived up to my expectations.”
Far from disgusted, she wanted to know more. “Why would dad just watch you two do six black guys?”
“Oh, he didn’t just watch,” James warned her. “He fully satisfied his curiosity.”
“No fucking way!” Jasmine’s hand covered her mouth. Then she shook off her shock. “You guys are just fucking with me!”
“No,” James insisted. “I still have the video. Camera phones were grainy in those days, but you can still see what’s going on.”
“I’ll give you my ass if you give me that video.”
“Done.”
James held out his hand and Jasmine, smiling, fucking shook it.
“You’ve decided to fuck him already?” her mother protested.
Jasmine slapped her mother’s hand. “You were the one telling me how hot he was when he walked in, as if you didn’t even know him!”
“I wanted to know if you found him attractive.”
“Well, now you know. Seriously, James, you must really work out.”
“I’ve gotten back into great shape this past year.”
“Did you like the taste of jism?” she asked him mischievously.
“I wouldn’t pick it off a menu, but it’s better than asparagus, yet worse than broccoli.”
The girl clapped her hands and roared with laughter. “I will never look at vegetables the same again.”
“The waiter’s coming. Can we order now?” Gina begged them, eager to change the subject.
James ordered halibut and advised the ladies to get the double lobster, but this didn’t buy them much time because Jasmine took out her smartphone and Googled him.
“You guys are still fucking, aren’t you?” she asked casually, as if inquiring about the weather. “God knows she needed some deep dicking after dad died.”
“I was lonely after that drunk killed your father,” mom confessed. “I waited two long years before giving in to James.”
“I’m that resistible? That kind of flattery won’t get you anywhere,” James warned her.
“Wait! You run a hedge fund?” Jasmine asked him, looking up from her smartphone. “It says here you’re worth like a billion bucks. I get to fuck a billionaire?”
“I am heavily invested in the Chimborazo orbital launcher and the Ganymed Space Port. If things go well, then these companies will go public, and I’ll finally get a return on my investments. But until then my bank account is hardly flush.”
Jasmine kept studying their faces, trying to piece it together. “Is my mom fucking you for money?”
James laughed, but her mother smoldered. “I am not a prostitute! A slut in high school, sure, but not a prostitute.”
“No, your mom is not fucking me for money.”
“But you are helping her out, aren’t you? I know dad had a lot of debt when that drunk driver crossed the center divider.”
“I felt bad that I never made up with him, and he did let me cum down his throat twice, so I offered to pay your mortgage payments until you guys got back on your feet. Suffering the loss of a loved one is stressful enough without worrying about losing your home.”
“And he paid your tuition.”
“And you never told me?” Jasmine chided her mother. “How many mortgage payments did he end up paying?”
For once James was not forthcoming, so her mother answered. “He fucking paid off the mortgage and wouldn’t even tell me. I never would have known if the bank had not sent me the fucking deed. That’s when I started fucking him. I couldn’t think of a better way to show my appreciation. A Hallmark wouldn’t quite cut it.”
“You paid for our house?” Jasmine asked in shock.
“Just what was left on the mortgage. I had a good year and I believe in showing God that I appreciate his blessings. When you owe God big time, you can’t just slip him a Benjamin and call it a day.”
“You lost me on the God stuff.”
“I believe that those who appreciate their blessings continue to get blessed, and that those who do not, do not. So, when life is very good to me, I feel an obligation to spread it around. I don’t like giving to big charities because most of their donations go towards overhead, so I just look around me. And I never have to look very far or
