Broken

“Is that everything?” Octavion asked.

“I have said my piece,” Gregor said. “I would like to stay in the castle tonight in case I am needed.” He stood and stepped to the arched doorway, then paused. “I expect you both to return without injuries.” Then he left the room.

Mara let out a long drawn-out sigh. “I take it by your attire you two are leaving?”

“Yes.” Luka got up from the chair and knelt near his mother. “We will be careful. I do not want you to worry.”

She put her hand on the side of his face. “I am your mother. I will always worry.”

As Octavion listened to their exchange, his mind filled with regret. It was the loving exchange of a mother and son, something he’d never experienced in his lifetime and something Kira may never know. The reality of it struck his heart and he had to excuse himself from the room. He traveled to his chambers where he lost complete control of his emotions. He knew something of what Kira felt. The emptiness within her would never be filled no matter how much those who loved her tried.

His father remarried and gave Octavion a substitute mother that loved him as her own, but his heart still held empty space. It wouldn’t matter how comforting his words, Kira also had a place that would remain void and cause her pain for the rest of her life.

Octavion, Luka’s thoughts interrupted. Have you reconsidered?

No, I must see Kira and then we will leave. Octavion wiped tears from his face and tried to compose himself. This would not be easy. He would have to choose his words carefully and not say anything that would leave her twisting his words to feed her sadness.

As he entered the room, he saw her lying in the middle of the bed with her knees pulled up, hugging a pillow. Her back was to Ussay who sat on the edge of the bed, fresh tears in her eyes. At least she’d managed to change her clothes and clean up a little.

He motioned for her to come to him. As she slowly stood and approached him, he noticed a large bruise beginning to darken on her neck. His revenge would be for her as well.

Kira moaned. “Please leave,” she whispered.

Ussay shook her head. “She will not let me help her.”

Octavion brushed a strand of hair back from Ussay’s face and kissed her cheek. “You have done all you can. Let me have a moment with her.”

Ussay nodded.

He watched as she left the room and pulled the door shut. The room felt eerily quiet. The knot that had formed in his throat hours before threatened to strangle his words, but he pressed forward. When he neared the bed, his stomach tightened and he wanted to run. What could he possibly say to ease her pain? He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.

“Please. Leave,” she whispered again. Her monotone voice was cold and lacked emotion.

He sat on the bed. “Why are you pushing me away?” When she didn’t answer he put his arm on her shoulder, but she shrugged out from under it and scooted further away.

“Kira, please turn over. I want to see you.”

“I. . can’t.”

“Then I will come around to the other side of the bed.”

She reached behind her and grabbed his arm. “No,” she said. “Just leave me alone. I can’t. . look at you.” She released him, pulled the pillow closer and began to cry. “Go. . away.”

“Kira, I’m not leaving until I see you. I have to know you are all right.” He put his hand back on her shoulder and this time she didn’t move away. “Please.”

“I will never be. . all right. I. . want. . to go home.”

Her words cut deep. He didn’t want to lose her, but if taking her home meant she’d be safe, he’d do it. It wasn’t like he’d be around to protect her after Ramla came for him anyway. What kind of a life could she have here alone?

“You are too fragile to travel right now. As soon as I am sure it is safe in your world, I will take you wherever you want.” He ran his hand down her trembling arm and found her hand buried in the pillow. “I will not be gone long.”

As her hand brushed against the leather cuff on his wrist, she turned quickly toward him and grabbed a handful of his vest in her fingers. “Why are you wearing this? You’re dressed to fight.” She shook her head. “You are not going back there. I won’t let you.”

“Kira, calm down, I will be fine.”

“No!” she screamed. “They will kill you! You don’t know what they’re capable of. They have no mercy.”

“Kira, you will hurt yourself, please.”

“I won’t let you go.” Her fingers fumbled with the front of his vest, trying to remove it. Without success, she moved on to the leather cuffs at his wrists and then to the swords strapped to his back. He couldn’t get her to stop flailing her arms at him so he grabbed her and pulled her close.

“Shh, you need to stop this.”

“Promise me. . promise you won’t go,” she managed between sobs. “I can’t lose you, too.”

He buried his face in her hair and took in the scent of her. How could she ask this of him? How could he not go? He relaxed his hold on her and gently took her face in his hands. Her dark eyes were filled with so much pain and fear that it nearly broke him in two.

“Promise me,” she whispered.

“What kind of a man would I be if I did not avenge you?” It was as if the words he spoke released V’Larian into the air and she took it into her lungs. He watched as every muscle in her body surrendered to the imaginary drug, the emotion drained from her face and she retreated back into her shell. She looked away, curled back into her ball and drew the covers up around her.

“Then leave.”

He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “Not before I say my piece.” If these were the last words she’d ever hear flow from his lips, he wanted them to make a difference. He turned his back to her and tried to say what was in his heart.

“I knew you long before I ever stepped foot into your world. I dreamed of a girl with emerald eyes and auburn hair, but I thought her an illusion. I had never seen such beauty.” He looked around the room as memories of his sister flooded his mind. “When you befriended Lydia, I knew you were the one, but fought my feelings. I refused to bring you into a world such as ours-involve you in our flight from danger.

“My feelings for you quickly turned to frustration and then to anger. If I could not have you, then I would feel nothing. I would block my emotions like I blocked Shandira’s thoughts, letting no one, and nothing, in.” He turned back and brushed his fingers through her hair. “You interrupted my life, Kira. You stirred the fire I had suppressed for so long and now there is no way to put it out.”

She slowly turned toward him and looked into his eyes, hers brimming with tears.

“I love you,” he said. “Nothing can change that, not even this.”

Her bottom lip quivered. “But I can’t give you an heir.”

He smiled. “There will be plenty of children in the castle to spoil. I am not so vain to think I can only love a child that comes from my seed. And as for an heir. . I have cousins who would be more than happy to fill that void.” He drew her back into his arms and held her until she stopped shaking. When he was sure she understood how he felt, he continued. He sat back so he could see her tear stained face.

“There’s more,” he said. Luka, could you please come to Kira’s room?

Kira tensed and then looked around the room. “Did you call Luka?”

“Yes.”

When Luka appeared at Octavion’s side, Kira took one look at the way he was dressed and began to protest again.

“You can’t both go. Who will protect the castle? What if. .?” She turned her focus to Luka. “You have to tell him.”

“Tell me what?” Octavion asked.

“Octavion, I’m so sorry,” Kira said. “I should have told you, I know that now. I didn’t want you to