Broken

the bed to sit cross legged. He smiled and turned to face her. The flicker of the fire made his eyes glow. Although they were the deepest blue, she could see hints of gold hiding inside. He studied her eyes as well and she wondered if their darkness bothered him. His silence made her uncomfortable, so she looked down at her hands.

“I had a dream last night,” he finally said.

Kira nodded. “Luka told me.”

He sighed. “Then you know how terrified I was that I had lost you.” He put his finger under her chin and gently raised her face so their eyes met again. “I am glad it was only a dream.”

“I never would have jumped,” she lied.

A deep crease formed between his eyes. “I did not tell Luka how I saw you die, only that you took your own life.”

Kira cringed. “I. .” Nothing came. She didn’t want to think about how close she came to not only taking her life, but Altaria’s and Cade’s as well.

“Kira. What did you do?”

“Don’t be mad. I didn’t go out there to kill myself. I just needed to feel something. I felt so numb about what had happened to me and heartbroken about Lydia. . and Altaria. I thought you were never coming back. And then Cade showed up and Arela saw me. I tried to get down off the rock, but my foot slipped. I didn’t. . jump, I. . slipped.” She pushed away the burning in her eyes. She was sick of crying. “Cade went in after me. He got hurt, and it’s all my fault.”

Octavion pulled her into his arms and held her there for a moment. His chest heaved and his breathing deepened. “Kira,” he said, his voice deep and throaty. She wondered what she’d said to make him transform, but when he pushed her back and looked into her eyes, they weren’t yellow, but wet. He took her face in his hands. “Never again, do you understand me? My life would end as well.” He shook his head. “You must never think your life. . is worth nothing.”

“I didn’t jump.” She pulled his hands away from her face. She couldn’t tell him the real reason she wanted to take her life-to rejoin Altaria and Lydia’s spirits. “Cade was there-ask him. He’ll tell you I slipped.”

He straightened. “Cade saw the whole thing?”

“Yes. Arela saw me go out there and called him.”

He took his hands back and stood. “Then I shall have him show me.”

“Show?”

He stepped to the fireplace and stirred the coals with a section of rod iron he’d retrieved from a hook at the end of the mantle. “We all have gifts. Cade can send his thoughts, but he is also able to send images of things he’s seen. Like when you shared your memories with Lydia.”

Her stomach swelled into her throat. She had to swallow to keep from getting sick. “You mean you’ll see me. . when I fell?”

He slowly turned to face her. “Yes.”

“Octavion, you don’t have to do. .”

He put his hand up to cut her off. “I need to see it.” He closed his eyes, his face wrinkled in concentration. A few moments passed before his expression changed and she knew he was there, seeing her step closer to the edge of the cliff. She could almost tell what part of the night he watched by his body language and the way his brow furrowed. She knew the exact moment she slipped off the rock-he sucked in a quick breath, then stopped breathing altogether. A few seconds passed and his eyes opened. He looked at her, but said nothing else until he’d returned to her side.

“Cade. . is fine,” he managed. Then he took in a deep breath and turned to face her. Rage flicked around the edges of his eyes. “You lied to me, Kira. You said you did not go out there to take your life. And how long have you been sharing thoughts with Altaria?”

“What? I’m not. I mean. . I didn’t go out there to kill myself. I just wanted to feel the rain on my face, to feel something-anything. I was so numb I couldn’t even cry. But then. . I thought about Lydia.” Her tears flowed freely now, despite her efforts to hold them back. How could she explain this? The very thought of his sister’s spirits spending eternity apart would crush him. And how would he treat Kira if he knew? Even kissing her would be different knowing Altaria saw and heard everything Kira did. But then she’d promised not to keep anything from him. No secrets between them. “Um. . I can’t hear Altaria’s thoughts. But. . I speak to her all the time and. . I can feel her.”

Confusion washed over Octavion’s face. “What do you mean by feel her?”

Kira scooted to the edge of the bed and stood. It was pretty obvious what Altaria wanted. The ache in Kira’s chest was so severe, she could hardly breathe. She wanted out. “Stop it,” she whispered, pressing against the pain.

“Kira, you need to tell me what is going on. Are you hearing Altaria’s thoughts? And why are you grabbing at your chest? Is it your heart again, like when you healed?”

“No, it’s not my heart.” She walked to the little window and tried to peek outside through the ivy that covered it. She turned to face him. “I should have told you, but I promised Lydia I’d keep it a secret, and then when I found out she died, I thought about how upset you would be and. .”

Octavion jumped to his feet, crossed the room and took Kira by the shoulders. “Tell me what?”

“It’s Altaria. She’s not dead. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true.” She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts.

Octavion dropped his hands to his side. “Kira, there are things. .” He groaned. “You need to tell me everything-from the beginning.”

Kira nodded. “It happened in the canyon, right before you came back. Remember? You asked me if Shandira bit me and I told you that it was Altaria, but it wasn’t her fault.”

He pulled the chair from under the desk and motioned for her to sit, then sat across from her on the hearth. “I remember, but what does that have to do with thinking she is alive?”

“I’m not sure what happened exactly. I just know that when I cut my hand to heal Altaria, the smell of my blood made her transform and she wanted to kill me. Lydia must have known that and the only way she could think to save my life was to force Altaria’s spirit to leave her body. . and. .” She closed her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat before opening them again. “She gave her to me.”

“What? What are you saying?”

“I’m saying Altaria’s spirit is locked inside me. She’s stuck, Octavion, and she’s so mad.” Kira’s heart raced and the pain was almost unbearable.

Octavion’s face suddenly lost all its color. “Altaria. . is inside you?”

“Yeah, and she’s really pissed.”

He ran his fingers through his hair, stood and began pacing. “And you are certain? You hear her? Feel her?”

“Not exactly. It’s like she’s living inside my heart or something. I ask her questions and she makes my heart race or my blood flow faster which warms me. I think she has control of your blood-the Royal inside me-but that’s it. She hasn’t been able to control anything else. At least I don’t think she has.”

This time Octavion knelt in front of her. “So she can hear me now?”

Kira’s heart skipped a beat. She smiled. “Yeah. She can hear me speak and see what I see, but we can’t share thoughts.”

She hadn’t noticed until then, that Octavion’s eyes were filled with tears-which was a complete contrast to the smile that slowly crept across his face. He took her hands in his and gave them a gentle squeeze. “I brought you hear to tell you something-to tell both you and Altaria. Promise me you will hear me out before you get angry.”

Kira straightened. So he’d kept secrets too. “Tell me what?”

“Promise first.”

She withdrew her hands and folded her arms. “I promise.”

He sat back on his heels. “Before I left, Luka and I fought because I was angry with him for not telling me about the Royals who attacked you, but then he reminded me that I was the one keeping a secret. The night I brought Lydia home I had to leave her in my father’s arms. My hunger was so strong I could not help him with her. My thoughts were on feeding-nothing else-not even you.”

“Ussay told me about what happened-about Luka and the old man.”