ambulance. As the ambulance arrived in the driveway, her mother came down to the kitchen for the first time.
‘You okay, Luce?’
Stevie was talking to her. Both he and Mel were staring at her. She shook her head to bring herself back to the present.
‘Yeah, I’m okay,’ she said.
‘You want something to eat?’ Mel asked.
‘No, I’ll just have some coffee.’
‘Whatever you like.’
Lucy looked up from making instant coffee to find Stephen watching her, the expression on his face a mixture of concern and fear.
‘Where’s Dad?’ she asked.
‘He’s still in his room. I don’t think he’s coming out again.’ Melanie answered the question for her brother, tossing her knife down and turning and standing with her arms folded. She spoke without energy.
‘Do you know, he spent the whole time I was in there this morning whispering in my ear about how much he loves you. I can’t deal with that, Luce. I can hardly even deal with the sound of his voice.’
Melanie waited for her to reply but Lucy said nothing. Her sister shook her head.
‘You two are just so alike,’ she said, ‘you won’t let go of anything.
He’s never going to say what you want him to say, Luce, never. He’s just going to keep getting at me and at Stevie until you say to him that it doesn’t matter what he did to you. If you’re going to stay around, just give him what he wants. It doesn’t matter now anyway, it’s too fucking late.’
Again Lucy did not answer. She had no voice; everything she had to say was stuck in her throat.
‘Mum’s in the lounge, is she?’ was all she managed in the end.
‘What do you think?’ Melanie said, turning away again.
Stephen said nothing, only lit another cigarette from the end of the one he was already smoking.
Lucy took her mug of coffee and went outside to sit next to Dora and scratch the old dog’s head. As the dog nuzzled closer to her, she thought she would let her off the chain, and then go and tell her father how evil she thought he was. She did not move: thoughts of her father had caused her to become paralysed. She did not know what she wanted, whether she should stay or go. What was the point of staying here other than that it was somewhere to hide. She shook her head against the confusion. The sound of her phone, stashed in the pocket of her jacket, interrupted her thoughts.
‘Yeah?’ she said, knowing who it would be.
‘Lucy,’ the preacher replied. ‘How are you today?’
‘I’m good, Graeme. I’ve never felt better in my life. What do you want?’
‘I’ve got someone here I want you to talk to.’
Lucy felt cold as she listened to him pass the phone to someone.
‘Luce?’
‘Hi, Greg. He got you out, did he? He said he would.’
‘Yeah, he did. Those fucking pigs put me straight in the van. Look, I … What are you going to do?’
Lucy put her hand on her waistband and felt her firearm, hidden under her baggy clothes. She did not leave her room without carrying her gun.
‘Whatever he wants, Greg. Did you get my message? The one I asked Ria to give you?’
‘Yeah, I did. I can’t talk, you know, I — ’
‘Then you know you have to be as careful as you can. You watch everything he does. I’m going to do what he wants. Everything I have to. You remember that. I’m still out here. I haven’t forgotten you.’
‘Yeah, I will. You okay, Luce?’
‘Yeah, I’m okay. What about you? Did they shave your hair off, take away your beanie like they always do?’
‘Yeah, I got no hair any more but I hung onto my beanie this time.
It’s all I got left, everything else has been ripped off me. Look, I got to go, he wants the phone.’
‘I’m here. You remember that.’
Lucy listened to the sound of traffic down the line as she waited for Graeme. She glanced across the national park towards the vicinity of the northbound expressway, wondering where they could be. All she saw was the curve of the sky and the clouds massed on the horizon.
‘You see, it’s just the way I told you, Lucy,’ the preacher said. ‘I have my contacts too. You should remember that.’
‘I hadn’t forgotten. But I don’t mind coming to see you, Graeme.
Because I’ve got my insurance.’
‘Do you think you’ll use it?’
‘Why wouldn’t I? If you’ve used one of these things once, you can always do it again. Because you really know how to then. It’s not like shooting at a tree any more.’
There was silence.
‘Graeme?’
‘I was just thinking that’s not quite how you talked about it the last time we spoke. Are you changing your mind? Do you feel a little easier with it all now?’
Lucy felt frightened down into the pit of her stomach.
‘I just do what I have to, Graeme.’
‘I see. Well, why don’t we all get together this evening? I thought we could meet at the garage.’
‘Not this evening,’ Lucy snapped back. ‘I haven’t got any way to get there. And anyway, I don’t want to go there. I don’t like it there. Last time I was there I … there are ghosts in there, Graeme, I heard those kids’ voices last time. I’m never going back there again. No, I want to say where and when we meet. Okay? Me. I say.’
‘Just as you like, Lucy. You set the terms.’
‘I’ll meet you out the back of Central there. In that warehouse.’
‘Isn’t that a little too public?’
‘No one sees you in a crowd, Graeme. If you’re in a big enough crowd, you just disappear.’
‘Yes, that’s true. So. When?’
‘I don’t know. I’ve got to get a car.’
‘Where are you? Perhaps I can help.’
‘I’m nowhere, Graeme, so I wouldn’t worry about that. I’ll ring you back. And when I do, I want to talk to Greg. Okay? Every time I ring you or you ring me, I want to talk to him.’
‘You will. I promise you, you will. And I promise you, he’ll be with me when you and I meet.’
Lucy did not speak. There was an implication in his tone that she could not puzzle out, and if she asked him what he really meant, she knew he would only play more word games with her.
‘I’m hanging up now,’ she said.
‘I’ll wait for your call.’
‘Graeme … ’
‘Yes.’
‘Don’t do anything I won’t like.’
The connection went dead.
‘What am I going to do, girl?’ she said aloud to the bitch.
The dog only nuzzled closer, drinking in the attention, the closeness of another presence.
Lucy went back to her room, logged on and went out onto the Net.
Turtle, are you there?
I don’t care. I’ve got to ask you something.
I’ve got a friend in bad, bad trouble and I don’t know how to help him out without getting in deeper myself. Is that possible? Can I get in deeper than I already am?
