The Prayer of the Night Shepherd

‘Yeah, it was. He said could I meet him. He said as soon as he saw me he was thinking, like, what if Ben finds out?’

‘You’d appreciate talking to someone who really cared.’

‘You wouldn’t believe some of the men I’ve met who really cared,’ Brigid said.

‘I may even have arrested a couple. So, you met Mr Largo?’

‘I met him in the camper van.’

‘Aha.’

‘Was a refuge for me, that van.’

‘I thought you’d sold it to the nature lads.’

‘Lent it. Said I might need it back at some stage.’

‘Oh?’

‘In my situation, the kind of refuge you can drive away is sometimes useful. It’s also better if you don’t keep it at home. That way, visiting reporters, or other people you don’t want to get involved with, don’t get to see it in advance. I have bad memories of driving out of Looe at the head of a cavalcade.’

‘So you entertained Mr Largo in your camper van, even though—’

‘In this case, because I didn’t dare meet him anywhere public, and I wasn’t having him anywhere near The Nant. And I didn’t entertain him, thank you.’

‘You can’t blame people for embroidering — man and a woman in a camper van on a remote clifftop. And with what we know of his tastes…’

‘That was on his second visit, I assume. The first time he suggested I might like to cooperate in a sensitively made documentary. The second time, it was to offer me a percentage. Which he said could run to well over a hundred grand, including US rights.’

Bliss leaned back, eyebrows going up. ‘Tempting?’

‘Not to me. This might be difficult for you to get your head around, but money doesn’t mean that much to me or Jeremy. As long as we’re in a position to earn enough to keep going.’

‘Money means a certain amount to everybody, Brigid.’

‘Ask Merrily what means more.’

‘Peace of mind,’ Merrily said. ‘In a very particular sense.’

‘Did you like Mr Largo?’ Bliss asked.

‘I didn’t feel very happy being alone with him, if that’s what you mean.’

‘In what way?’

‘Buy the video, Frannie,’ Merrily said.

Brigid smiled and extracted another cigarette.

‘You turned him down?’ Bliss asked.

‘I put him off. You see, the danger here is that this was one of a very small number of people who would actually have been close enough to me as an adult to recognize me. Only, things had changed a lot in the last couple of months. I’d found a man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and he was living in a place he needed to spend the rest of his life in.’

‘Having you around could be pressure for a serious introvert,’ Merrily said. ‘It’s a big secret to keep.’

‘I think we’d’ve started to tell local people in time — the ones who could handle it. Guys like Danny Thomas and Greta. You get a group who know, and you have this level of protection that you wouldn’t get in a more populated area.’

‘True. They like to know all about you, but once they do, they can be very loyal. And very good at secrets, of course.’

‘Sometimes too good at secrets.’ Brigid lit her cigarette. ‘I’ll buy you another packet of these before they take me away.’

Merrily smiled. She was getting that feeling in the spine again.

‘You led him on?’ Bliss said.

‘I said I’d need an absolute assurance that my appearance would be disguised and also my location, and I didn’t think he was going to be able to promise that. I also said that if I did it I wouldn’t want any money, but I would want right of veto or whatever. You see, I’ve never seen Women of the Midnight. It’s not the kind of thing I watch, strangely enough. He said a solid, sensitive programme like he was planning would take the heat off and also allow me to have my say. Well, I didn’t want my say, but I didn’t want him shopping me, either. Not yet.’

‘Did you never think of going to court for special protection?’ Merrily asked. ‘Make it so the media weren’t allowed to identify you, for Clancy’s sake?’

‘I didn’t want special protection. I didn’t deserve special protection. Clancy, maybe.’

Bliss said, ‘Can we talk about Sebbie Dacre?’

‘I’ll only go so far.’

‘He was blackmailing you, right?’

Brigid laughed.

‘What’s so funny?’

‘He wouldn’t have the… I dunno what word I’m looking for, but he wouldn’t have it. I’m sorry. I didn’t want him to die.’

‘You killed him, Brigid.’

‘I wanted…’ Brigid blew out a lot of smoke, turning away. ‘What’s the bloody point?’ The smoke drifted up and mingled with the smoke around the muzzle flash from Sherlock Holmes’s pistol in the picture.

‘Please,’ Merrily said, ‘don’t stop now.’

‘Look — he was out of it, he really was. Hell, there’s enough insanity in my family for that to surprise nobody. Somebody told him about this Web site where all these saddos were drooling over what women had done to men, and he printed stuff off, pinned one to the sign at the bottom of the drive so I’d know that he knew. He was dangerous. He was a risk. Sure. At some stage he was going to tell somebody who’d take him seriously. But he still didn’t know, for certain.’

‘You think he was genuinely mentally ill?’ Merrily said.

‘I think it was the booze, mainly. The toxic combination of booze and being a Chancery.’ Brigid flicked her cigarette towards Bliss. ‘What’s that sound like? I don’t know why I’m bothering — this guy isn’t going to believe the half of it.’

‘Try him. He’s a Catholic.’

‘But I just want to make it clear — again — that I’ve never… I am never gonna blame whatever I’ve done on being a victim — my mother’s daughter, Hattie’s granddaughter. I will live with being a bad and vicious person — a monster — and getting punished for it, rather than take one miserable step down Sebastian’s road. I’ll be an old lag with a filthy mouth. I’ll be an evil monster for Sun readers to wish dead and sick kids to wank over, and that’s it.’

‘And yet you came here to find out about it. You cooperated with Beth Pollen and the White Company…’

‘It was about closing doors, Merrily. And it was about Clancy — I’ve explained all that. It wasn’t about me.’

‘You know,’ Merrily said. ‘I don’t think I’m buying that. You understand—’

‘No, listen—’

‘You understand too much about Sebbie’s problems. And he denied it too, didn’t he? I mean, people who talked to him—’

‘If you talked to him, you’d think he didn’t give a toss. “Load of old drivel” — I’ve listened to him in the pub, spouting off — maybe for my benefit, just in case I was who he suspected I might be. Just so I’d know he wasn’t scared of anything, particularly me, and the past.’

‘Why scared of you?’ Merrily said.

‘Not for me to say. Ask Jeremy.’

‘Because your mother tried to kill his mother when they were little? Because Ellen Gethin—’

‘Why did he come to the van last night?’ Bliss said. ‘And why were you there?’

Merrily said, not quite knowing where the question came from, ‘You were trying to help him, weren’t