made it good for you, Paine, nice, better than Roberto. I would have loved you forever, man. . '
Philly's voice trailed off to a sigh, and then the phone was hung up in Paine's ear and he heard the final, harsh tone of disconnection.
Paine hung up the phone, and then picked it up again to repeat, for a moment, that final sound.
25
In this bad dream, Rebecca would not appear, and Bob Petty refused to change.
Paine was on a high hill, in the dark, with the stars of summer covering him like a bowl. He was alone, and even the distant crickets had ceased their whispering chatter. The world was dark and hot, with the stars unmoving above.
He had a telescope, and he looked for her, but she was not there. He searched between the stars, went over the glowing gas clouds, the thick blanket of suns in the southern Milky Way, up overhead to the deep reaches of black space where the constellation Cygnus ruled. He saw things he had rarely seen: the thin wisp of lace that was the Veil nebula, shining for him with a beauty that should have made him sing. But he was afraid, and he wanted to find her, and she would not appear.
He looked deeper, into the dark spaces, and saw things no man had seen with a telescope. Planets whirled around protostars, stars were born in the midst of fiery clouds of heated gas, glowing with color: red and green, the blue-white of beginning life. His telescope brought him deeper still into the void, where quasars, borning galaxies of remarkable heat and power, rumbled with the beginnings of everything itself. And still he did not see her.
He went farther, his eye glued desperately to the eyepiece. He felt tears on his cheeks in the hot night, mingled with sweat, and he began to call her name. There was an ache in him deeper than the space he explored, a need for solace, and for her to be alive again, that no beautiful sight of God's creation, of nature's beginnings, could put to rest. He sought not the birth of all, but the negation of her extinction. She was gone, and he wanted her back, and the rest of creation was a mere mockery, a beginning that only led to death.
'Rebecca!' he cried, grasping the telescope with both his hands, and now his eye, with the eye of glass that was the telescope, brought him deeper still. He saw the beginning itself, a tiny flash of pure horrible light in the distance, and it filled his vision and blotted out the darkness, and she was not in the heated light, she was nowhere. She was gone.
And then Bobby Petty was there. His face grew out of the creation, and it filled the lens of his telescope, and creation withdrew behind him, and Paine began to return to his hilltop. He saw everything behind Petty pull back: roaring quasars, the galaxies they made, the protosuns, their planets condensing from hard rock, till the rock became Earth.
And Bob Petty's face was there.
And still he would not change. Still, Bob Petty was himself. And Petty opened his mouth in laughter, only it wasn't laughter that came out but sobs, the crying of the essential self that was deep inside his own sell, behind the masks, and Paine suddenly knew that Petty's cold eyes that had looked down at him were false, and that all he had done to his family and his life was false, and that Bobby Petty had not changed after all.
Paine woke up.
He was stiff and bathed in night sweat, but he ignored it and sat on the edge of the bed and punched a number into the telephone. He was not yet awake, and in his mind the night of his dream and the night that Billy Rader in Texas would be looking at were the same. And he saw Billy Rader peering into his telescope, and looking between the stars, and seeing incredible things.
'Billy?' he said.
'Jack? You all right?'
Paine took a few breaths and said, 'Yes.'
'Shitty night here, Jack. Clouds came in about an hour ago. I was just shutting down. Another five minutes, I would have been on the road back to Fort Worth.'
'Billy,' Paine repeated, but he still was not fully awake, and he still saw things through the telescope on the hill, though the dream was fading and he heard Billy's voice clearly now.
'Jack,' Billy said resignedly. 'Hold on while I go out to my car.'
'What?'
'Hold on, Jack.'
Paine waited, the world coming back to him, the hot room coming back to him, the stale breeze from the fan, the night stagnation, the hot summer.
'I'm back,' Billy Rader said. 'But you have to promise me something. I'm going to give you something, but I want you to promise me you got this yourself. My friend in the Pentagon almost got his nuts screwed off the other day because of you and me. This time, you have to tell the feds you got it yourself.'
Paine said, 'I promise.'
Billy Rader sighed heavily. 'Here it is, Jack. They threatened to can my friend, and he got pissed. He knows people in the White House, he called them, they told him nothing. He threatened whistle-blower, and they got back to him in fifteen minutes and said they'd cover his ass. He's still pissed, Jack.'
'About what?'
'They lied to him. The stuff he got out of the computer was a cover. He went deeper, and found a covert operation. A
'I'm listening.'
Rader sighed again. 'Here goes. I've got faxes of two computer printouts here, and, according to them, your friend Bobby Petty was set up.'
Paine saw Petty's face, the laughter in the mouth, the sobbing that came out.
Rader went on. 'This is what happened. Petty and his friends were an elite operations unit in Vietnam. In 1970, after Nixon became president, they were sent into Cambodia a couple of times. One of those times, on direct orders, so they thought, they wiped out the entire male population of a VC village. What they were told was that the village was a direct ferry route to the Ho Chi Minh trail, supplying Chinese weapons to Ho's men as they came down.
'When Petty and his boys were led in there, they found a lot of weapons, just like they were told they would. There was a firefight. The women and children they drove out, but they wiped out the male population. All of them. Then they went back to Vietnam, mission completed. Supposedly, a good part of the munitions reaching the Viet Cong on the way down the Ho Chi Minh trail had been eliminated.
'Only, somebody lied to them. What they were really sent to do was handle a personal vendetta against a Cambodian drug operation that had snuffed someone. That someone was the guy who led Petty's team into Cambodia. His name was Kwan Wac Ho. He was also known as Tiny Man.'
'Jesus.'
'Yeah,' Billy said. 'But it gets better. Because Tiny Man has been living in the U.S. since 1973, and has been linked to several drug smuggling operations. Most recently, he's been helping a group of South Americans get set up in a little town you might have heard of in New York, called Yonkers.'
'Fuck.'
'Yeah again.' Rader's voice became sad. 'Looks like your friend Bobby found out something he can't live too well with, Jack. Imagine living all that time with the thought that you did a great service for your country, that you saved a lot of American lives by handling a dangerous mission wiping out a village of bloodthirsty Viet Cong sympathizers funneling to their brethren weapons used to kill Americans. Then imagine finding out that you didn't do that alter all, that all you did was murder a bunch of poor Cambodians trying to make a buck by shoveling coca weed. Could do some things to your head.'
'Yes,' Paine said.
'Seems a lot more reasonable him going bonkers over this than over a woman or something else, doesn't it?'
