“That’s not what I’m asking for.”
“I know,” I said. “But I’ll get you out of it. You and Jackson.”
She kissed my cheek again. “Sleep.”
I closed my eyes, shutting out thoughts of Bella and Liz and David and everything else, sleep washing over me like the waves I used to dive into.
TWENTY-THREE
I slept soundly, no visions of Liz or anyone else jarring me awake.
Sun warmed the side of my face. And something warmed my body. Something soft and solid and decidedly feminine.
I twisted my head to the side and found Bella pressed up against me, my arm around her. She was snoring softly, her mouth half-open.
I lay still for a moment. She’d said goodnight to me, told me she was going to sleep in Jackson’s room. She’d mentioned waking me up during the night, but I didn’t recall her doing so.
Was there anything else I didn’t recall?
No, I didn’t think so and I immediately shook the idea from my thoughts. I was under the covers and she was on top of them. And no matter how she felt about me, I didn’t think she would’ve taken advantage of the fact that I wasn’t thinking too clearly.
Her legs twitched and her eyes fluttered open. She closed them again once, then reopened them.
“Hey,” I said.
She looked up at me, startled, her eyes clearing. “Oh my God.” She sat up. “I’m so sorry. I fell asleep in here.”
“It’s okay,” I said.
“I came in here to wake you up and I could barely get myself off Jackson’s floor when the alarm on my phone went off,” she rambled, sitting up. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I repeated.
“I tried to shake you awake and you sort of stirred,” she said. “And I was talking to you and you were mumbling…and I think I just passed out.” Her entire face was flushed red. “I’m sorry.”
“Bella, it’s alright,” I said. “It’s alright.”
“I just don’t want you thinking that I…” Her voice trailed off. “I mean, yeah, okay, maybe…I should just shut up.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Shut up.”
The panicked look on her face morphed to a frown when she realized I was kidding.
“How are you?” she asked. “Better if you're making fun of me, I guess.”
The ringing in my ears was gone. The side of my face was sore and tight and my jaw ached. I had a headache, but it was nothing compared to the night before. I stretched my arms and legs.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” I said.
“Your face is still pretty messed up.”
“I’ve heard that before.”
“I doubt that,” she said and her face flushed again. “I mean…have you been hit before?”
“Plenty of times.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
I wanted to share more with her. To tell her who I was, why I was there, who I used to be. But I knew that doing so would put her in an awkward position and would make me more vulnerable. And her.
“Long story,” I said instead.
Her face fell a bit, clearly disappointed that I hadn’t shared. I immediately felt guilty, but didn’t offer up anything else. Dragging her into my situation was far worse than my being dragged into hers.
“Can I get you anything?” she asked. “Water? Breakfast?”
I thought for a moment. “A computer.”
“Be right back,” she said, disappearing into the hallway.
I propped myself up in bed and didn’t feel like keeling over when I did so, which I took as a good sign. The ceiling fan above me spun slowly, dropping cool air onto my face and despite the small headache, I didn’t feel horrible.
Bella reappeared, holding a small netbook. “This work?”
“Perfect,” I said.
She handed it over and I placed it in my lap.
“Am I allowed to ask what you’re doing?” she asked.
“Sure,” I said.
She waited for a moment. “But you aren’t going to tell me what you’re doing.”
“I’m typing,” I said.
“And you’re definitely feeling better,” she said.
“Not really.”
“Good enough to be a smart ass.”
“I guess.”
I brought up Google and pulled up the email server and logged into my account. The inbox was empty. My paranoia took over and I wondered if Carter was okay.
“What?” Bella asked. “What’s the matter?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. It’s fine.”
“You don’t look like it’s fine. Whatever ‘it’ is.”
I was tempted to send another email, to see if he was alright, to see if he’d gotten the initial email I’d sent him. But I talked myself out of it. I didn’t check the account every day and I was sure he didn’t either. We were taking precautions for a reason and that meant avoiding habits that might lead anyone to me. I needed to be patient and trust that the system we’d set up would work.
I logged out, erased the browser history and closed the laptop. I held it out to Bella. “Thanks.”
She took it, confused. “That’s it?”
“Yep.”
She set it on the dresser. “Okay. Whatever.”
“Look, I’m not trying to be an ass. It’s just…just some things I don’t think I should share,” I said. “Has nothing to do with you. I swear.”
She folded her arms. “It’s okay. I understand.”
I wasn’t sure if she did or not, but I knew she was better off not knowing about me and that was all that mattered. I didn’t like her thinking that I was lying to her or being secretive after she’d been so nice to me, but I didn’t feel like I really had a choice.
I braced myself with my arms and slowly moved my legs over the side of the bed. “Do you have any ibuprofen?”
She nodded and left the room. She was back a moment later, with several pills in her palm and a glass of water in the other. I swallowed the pills and downed the water.
“Thanks,” I said.
“You’re welcome. Are you hungry?”
“No,” I said. “Tell me something. Do you need to make that run today? The one I interrupted?”
She glanced at the door, probably nervous that Jackson would walk in. “Yes. David texted last night. He’s expecting me to.”
“Okay. I’ll go with you.”
Her eyes widened. “Excuse me?”
