that?” Leslie hid her smile behind a slim hand.

The bloom must have faded from the rose of Mike’s teenage crush because he gave her a rather crusty look. “Thanks tons, that’s so comforting.” He snorted. “At least I get to be Danny Glover.”

“Okay, as amusing as this is, let’s get back on topic.” I pierced Leslie with my own hard look. “The brooch … the Grail. Nigel said you don’t have it anymore, so where is it?” It wasn’t as if I was surprised. For most of my life, Murphy’s Laws have been a constant I’ve never been able to escape or dodge. Believe me, even Words are of no use in avoiding them.

Nigel bowed his head and Leslie toyed with her teacup for a moment before saying, “My son stole it.”

Mike goggled. “Your son stole the Holy Grail?”

Nigel bristled at his tone while I just put my head in my hands. “What? It did not look like the bloody Holy Grail.”

“All right, all right, everyone. Chill out,” I said into the palm of my hands. “Tell me what happened, please.”

Leslie sighed. “My boy, Alexander, came ’round about six months ago in an old ’82 Pan Head that his father had given to him for his fifteenth birthday, said he wanted to come to see his mom, but what he really wanted was to take whatever he could fit in his backpack.”

“Of course.” Artifacts like the Grail have an unsettling habit of eluding those who search for them. I think God reckons that man should not muck about with them, at least not the ones who know their power. I passed my thoughts on to the group.

“So you think God made my son take the Grail?”

I phrased my reply carefully. No need to irritate mama bear. “I think God provides the opportunity and lets us talking monkeys decide if we want to take advantage.” The last of the tea slithered its way down my throat. “But let me put it to you this way: there are dozens of powerful artifacts in the world, all loaded with their own special powers, so why doesn’t mankind know about them all? Why hasn’t there been an amazing discovery, documented and publicized?”

Nigel squinted at me. “Because they don’t want to be found, do they?”

“Got it in one.”

“So what now?” Mike asked.

“Now we go have a word with Alexander.”

Leslie bristled in full mama-bear mode. “Don’t you hurt my boy! He’s not perfect, but he is mine.”

I donned my most sincere look. “Not a problem, ma’am. Just want to have a word or three with him. If you want, I’ll let Mike do the talking.”

Nigel patted Leslie’s hand. “You won’t find the little bleeder without his mother. He rides with a motorcycle gang. Moves around like a gypsy.”

“Do you know where Alexander is now, Leslie?” Mike asked gently.

She nodded. “I can find out. He gave me a number to call if I needed to get in touch. But first I want reassurances.” Her face shut down hard and fast.

Looking at her, I knew she wouldn’t budge and from Mike’s expression, he knew it too.

“What do you want?” I asked cautiously.

She held up a fist and her pinky rose. “One: I want your promise you won’t hurt my boy.” Another finger joined the pinky. “Two: I want to see that Silver you’ve talked about.” The third finger made an appearance and she leaned toward us. “Three: I want to see some more magic.”

Mike and I exchanged a look. “Done and done,” we said in unison. Strange that the spontaneous Healing of Nigel hadn’t been enough for her.

“Bloody Lethal Weapon, indeed,” muttered Nigel under his breath.

I ignored the comment, but inside was pleased. Obviously I was the Mel Gibson character, Riggs. Dipping into my backpack, I pulled out a plastic liter bottle, empty except for a little dribble at the bottom, and the cardboard cylinder containing the Silver. I removed the top, the camouflage tablets and pulled out the fishbowl. Only a few drops of black fluid rolled around on the bottom like maleficent mercury. Just looking at it prickled the hairs on the back of my neck.

Nigel peered at the bowl. “That bag? That’s it?”

“It’s what’s inside that will shrivel your cojones.” I held the near empty bottle out to Mike. “Can you bless some more water? This is all that’s left.” He nodded as he grabbed the bottle and headed toward the tap.

Leslie took a deep breath. “What’s that black liquid?”

I considered the foul fluid. “Denatured holy water. Call it unholy water.”

Behind me I heard a clatter as Mike dropped the plastic bottle. “What do you mean ‘unholy water’?” Nigel asked.

“When the Silver comes in contact with holy water, it begins to transform it, turn it into something that doesn’t … irritate it, I guess. As its nature is infernal, it changes it to something that suits its nature.”

“What is it, exactly, then?” Leslie asked.

A private part of me wanted to tuck the Silver back in its cylinder and shut down that line of inquiry, but a promise was a promise, no matter how annoying. “It’s exactly what I said it is, Silver.”

“Okay, that … Silver thingy is bad, evil, but why keep it in holy water? Does that neutralize its power?” I could tell she wanted to touch the bowl, but I kept it out of reach.

“Kind of,” I replied slowly. “Mainly it’s to keep my Family and the Voice from sensing it, and thereby finding me. You see, I stole it from them.”

Mike began to speak softly, blessing the tap water, I guess.

I got a wide-angle view of Leslie’s eye as she stared through the bowl. “How powerful is it? What does it do?” Nigel stood very close to her and I hid my smile by half turning away. Oh yeah, those two were going to hook up or I was a blind man.

“The Silver had been the … crux, I guess, of my Family’s power for the past two millennia. When a Family member who’s a magus holds it, he has access to very powerful, even devastating Words.”

“What kind?” asked the butler.

I met Nigel’s eyes and something in mine gave him pause. “Trust me, mate, you don’t want to know.”

“So the Grail-” Leslie began.

“Will destroy the Silver, I believe,” I finished, setting the bowl down. Mike walked over, pressed the now full plastic bottle into my hand and gave me a reassuring pat on the back.

“Well, kids, it’s been a swell ride,” I grinned, hoping it would hide my fatigue. “But we really have to boogie.”

“You’re not going to tell us any more, are you?” For some reason Leslie looked a little sad. I guess she wasn’t comfortable with a little mystery.

“Some things are best left unsaid and some things are best left unknown. ‘Ignorance is bliss’ is not just a catchy phrase, man.”

Mike nodded. “He hasn’t even told me what the Silver is.”

I nodded. “But he’ll find out soon enough.”

Chapter Thirteen

Mike

Despite the strange and unusual circumstances, not to mention the outrageous story Jude and I had spun, Leslie was a gracious hostess. Heck, if it had been me, I might have called the nearest mental hospital for a brace of straitjackets and a pair of big Iowa farm boys to help strap them on.

I must admit that, upon first meeting Leslie Winchester, my adolescent fantasies from the early ’80s dimmed somewhat against the harsh light of reality. Even so, she remained a fine figure of a woman, lush and emanating enough sex appeal to make my collar feel tight. It was the first time in a long while I heard the siren call of the opposite sex.

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