“I hope he dies from it.”
“We let her down,” she said, her voice cracking a little. “Goddamnit.”
“If she could have held out for us just a little longer,” Mendez said, fully aware he was talking about Lauren Lawton in the past tense.
Tanner shook her head. “She needed to do it. She never wanted it to be up to us. She needed to force his hand. We were just the excuse she needed to give herself permission to do it.”
Leah had never driven a car so fast in her life. Her mother’s BMW was too big for her and too strong for her and too powerful. It made Leah think of the first time she had snuck a ride on one of Daddy’s horses when she had only ever ridden a pony. She had been so scared. She was ten times as scared now. A million times more scared.
“Mommy,” she said loudly, glancing at her mother slumped in the passenger’s seat. “Mommy!! Mommy, talk to me!”
The steering wheel jerked in her hand and she shrieked and put her eyes back on the twisty road, turning the wheel the last second before running the car up on the rocks on the steep side.
Her mother was so pale she almost glowed in the darkening light of the car.
“Mommy, please don’t die,” Leah chanted. “Please don’t die. Please don’t die. Please don’t die.”
As if it would matter. As if chanting without stopping would make it so. She cursed herself for a stupid child.
Her mother’s left hand reached over toward her. The first sign of life Leah had seen in her in what seemed like hours.
It felt like forever because Leah didn’t know where they were. She had only known enough to point the car downhill and keep going. The rough path had joined with a narrow paved road. The narrow paved road finally came to a stop sign and a wider paved road.
And then she could see lights in the distance, and a place on the side of the road with chain saw totem poles and a gas pump, and a sign that read Canyon Cafe.
62
It was Leah Lawton who told them what happened. Leah, not quite sixteen, still more little girl than woman, who had put her injured mother into the car and managed to find her way out of the wilderness to get help.
Mendez called Anne Leone on his way to the hospital and she met him there in the ER not five minutes behind the ambulance. In full mother tigress mode, Anne had taken charge of Leah, seeing to her emotional needs and overseeing her medical needs, putting the needs of law enforcement at bay for hours.
Only when the girl’s wounds had been tended and she had been ensconced in a hospital room did Anne allow him to ask a single question. Even then she had sat on the bed with an arm around Leah Lawton, offering a mother’s comfort and support as Leah told the tale.
“You’re a brave girl, Leah,” he said when she finished.
“I don’t want to be brave,” she whispered, tears spilling over her lashes as Anne hugged her shoulders. “I want my mom.”
Lauren Lawton had still been in surgery when Mendez and Tanner had gone to locate the bodies of Roland Ballencoa and Michael Craig Houston in the hills west of town.
Coyotes had been there ahead of them, leaving the corpses half-eaten and covered in flies and vultures by the time the crime scene unit arrived. It seemed a fitting end for men who had preyed on others, Mendez thought. Nature’s justice was swifter and more appropriate than anything the courts would ever have handed Ballencoa or his partner.
By the time he and Tanner had processed the scene on the mountain and Ballencoa’s house in town, they had pulled nearly forty hours without sleep or a shower or a decent meal.
“Do you want me to take you to a hotel?” he asked as they walked away from Ballencoa’s house.
She dredged up a sarcastic half-smile. “I usually say no to sex until the second or third crime scene.”
Mendez managed a weary smile. “To the hospital?”
She nodded. Sleep, food, hygiene could all wait. Lauren Lawton was out of surgery, conscious and talking.
The hospital had settled into its quiet evening routine. The lights had been turned down low. The staff and visitors and the bustle they brought with them during the day had dissipated.
Two beds had been pushed together in Lauren’s room, and Leah lay sleeping the blissful, dreamless sleep that was drug-induced in the bed farthest from the door.
Lauren was awake in her bed. She kept her left hand, IV needle taped in place, just touching her daughter, to reassure herself that her child was really there, alive and safe. And that she herself was alive and safe.
Her head felt as heavy and hard as a bowling ball. Her breathing was shallow by necessity. Even with drugs it felt like the knife was still jammed between her shoulder blades, and she could feel the instability of her broken ribs as her chest expanded and contracted.
The surgeon had told her that she was as lucky as someone who had been stabbed in the back with a hunting knife could be. She had lost a lot of blood, but the knife had missed every major artery and organ it could have pierced. A millimeter in any direction and she would have been dead.
She would have been dead, and her daughter—the only daughter she had left—would have been raped and murdered as her sister had probably been.
Even though Ballencoa hadn’t given Lauren the satisfaction of the confession she had always wanted from him, there was something inside her that told her it was done. Leslie was gone. Lauren was glad for the drugs that would keep the worst of the pain of that at bay for a few more days.
She had seen herself in the mirror on the wall. She knew she was pale and battered. One eye was swollen nearly shut. A long gash sliced across one cheek from her temple to the corner of her mouth. Some miracle of modern medicine had glued the flaps of skin back together.
She was going to have scars, but none of the visible ones would be anything compared to what damage had been done to her emotionally over the course of the last four years. Nor would even those scars compare to what she felt for having put Leah through this hell.
Anne Leone had been there in the room when Lauren had finally come around. Lauren learned Anne had been there for Leah from the moment they had been brought into the ER.
“I told you you wouldn’t get rid of me,” Anne said quietly. “I’m here for both of you. Whenever you need me.”
Lauren fought tears. “We’re going to need you a lot,” she said, her voice little more than a whisper. “I’ve messed this up so badly. What I did—What I put her through—”
Anne pressed a finger to her lips and shook her head. “No. Something evil came into your lives, and you did the best you could.”
“That’s not saying much.”
“You’ll deal with your choices, Lauren. I’ll help you. But for now be glad you’re alive and be glad you have this incredible daughter,” Anne said, nodding toward Leah, who lay sleeping in the next bed. “She saved your life. Don’t waste it on regret. You get to start over—the two of you. That’s a gift. That’s what you have to focus on.”
She told Lauren to rest and slipped out of the room as Mendez and Tanner arrived.
Lauren looked up at the Santa Barbara detective. “Do you believe me now?” she asked.
“I always believed you, Lauren,” Tanner said quietly. “I just couldn’t do much about it. I’m sorry.”
“It’s done now,” Lauren said. “It’s done.”
“You’re sure you’re up to this now?” Mendez asked.
“I need to.”
Even though she was exhausted and breathless, she needed to confess the mistakes she had made and the
