Gunn's Golden Rules

Project Runwayauctions the winning looks of each season, so I bought the dress for Nina. It went for $305. When it arrived in a little cardboard box, I couldn’t believe how tiny it was, just two pieces of neoprene sort of glommed together. Seeing it up close was very illuminating. There were yellow pins sticking out of it, rough edges, spattered dye—and I still haven’t figured out how to assemble the top. Thank goodness I won it rather than some fan, who would have gotten that package and declared, “This won?”

I’m planning to send it to Nina with the suggestion that she wear it for the next event we have to do together. I have a feeling she won’t.

In any case, what keeps the show from turning into one big monkey house is the seriousness with which our judges take the matter of construction and design. During the runway show there is a huge amount of deliberation, far more than most people realize. From the moment that the judges see the work on the runway to the moment Heidi says who’s in and out, five to six hours elapse, not the several minutes you see at home.

I’m frequently wrong not just about who will be chosen as the winner, but also about who’s in the top or bottom three. Sometimes it flips while they’re deliberating. The judges change their minds a lot before they reach a verdict, which I believe is positive and a great testament to the seriousness of their discussion.

Guest judges are real wild cards when it comes to what they like. Sometimes a guest judge will say, “This was my favorite look!” And all the others had it as something that justified sending someone home. That’s why Heidi rarely asks the guest judge to speak first anymore. In the make-each-other-over challenge in Season 2, Santino Rice’s jumpsuit for Kara Janx might well have sent him home had Freddie Leiba not said right off the bat that he loved that look.

It’s all edited out in the final show, but one guest judge told the designers what she would have done had she been designing for the challenge. “I would have picked this fabric, instead! I would have designed it this way!”

That is not helpful. The competing designers didn’t use that fabric or that silhouette, so how can you judge them on what you would have done rather than on what they did in fact do?

In the finale of Season 3, Nina Garcia, not I, was scheduled to give the designers a critique early in the week. But because of the whole Is-Jeffrey-cheating debacle, she came in late on Thursday, instead. The Bryant Park fashion show was going to be held the following morning.

When I arrived after the critique, I asked the producers, “How did it go?” and they said Nina had given the designers a hard time. I was disappointed to hear that, because I thought, What are they going to do? The show is tomorrow. At this point in the game, negativity isn’t helpful.

So I did my routine for the camera, and then I went back to the designers and said, “I heard the visit was hard.” Everyone shrugged. Laura Bennett looked up and wisely said, “As if we could do anything! We didn’t even listen.”

She was correct. Sometimes it’s just too late to rethink and rework, even if the advice is brilliant.

Which brings us back to something I keep finding myself saying in this book: Context is everything—for clothes, for behavior, and for expectations. Truth telling is good, but you also have to accept the conditions as they are.

When someone is about to head onstage or on camera, do you tell her she has parsley in her teeth? Absolutely. That is helpful. But do you say, “That is a terrible dress”?

No! There’s no time to change, and she’ll just go out there feeling bad about herself. Similarly, I stop making comments, especially comments that suggest that an item should be reworked, the day before Bryant Park, because negative notes aren’t helpful at that point, unless you’re addressing matters of accessories or styling or the looks’ order on the runway. To suggest starting over is no longer feasible.

The question I ask myself before giving advice is: Is what you want to say really going to help them?

Sometimes it’s very clear. For example, recently I was doing an interview on camera. The interviewer’s lapel was sticking up, and I could tell it wasn’t just a jaunty affectation, so I said, “Before we start, let me fix this,” and I adjusted his collar.

“Thank you!” he said, rather relieved.

“I’d want you to do the same for me!” I said.

If you’re getting dressed with a friend, you can say, “You should rethink those shoes.” But you need to have supplies available! When Leah Salak, a colleague of mine at Liz Claiborne Inc., and I do shopping mall events together, and she asks, “How do I look?” I take the question seriously. People are videotaping these events, and there are thousands of people in attendance. I don’t want her to regret anything later. And we have a ton of options around here at the office, so I can say, “That cut’s not quite right for you. Let’s see what else we have.” Then we can pick out something truly gorgeous.

Also, I give her advice because—and this is an important distinction—she asked.If someone doesn’t ask, you don’t have a moral obligation to say every thought that pops into your head. As I’ve mentioned, strangers are constantly saying to me, “I was so afraid of what you would say about what I’m wearing!”

As if I just go around analyzing the outfits of everyone I pass on the street! Certainly not. I never say anything unless I’m asked, and then if I’m asked, I consider the matter carefully and offer an honest opinion.

I try to phrase criticism in the nicest possible way, but I also never lie. If people ask, I assume it’s because they want to know. People are not dumb about these things; they can tell when a compliment isn’t sincere.

My grandmother had the most backhanded way of delivering compliments. She was always saying things like, “You look so much better than you did the last time I saw you.”

What in the world does she mean?we were always wondering. What did I look like the last time?Her compliments always left us confused rather than proud.

WHEN YOU PUT YOURSELF out there, whether it’s by delivering a speech, acting in a play, or putting out a collection, you want feedback that’s positive, or at the very least helpful for the next time.

If you want to stay friends with people who put themselves out in this way, it’s often necessary to deliver vague praise that doesn’t actually address the specifics of the production. Examples include: “Congratulations!” or “That was quite a performance!” or “I’ll never forget that!” or the classic: “Oh, you!”

I find myself in the position of delivering a lot of these euphemisms. My favorite is “That was unforgettable!” For the right reasons? (Pause.) Repeat: “That was unforgettable!”

IT’S VERY IMPORTANT TO be totally honest when it comes to things that can be changed and that must be changed. As you know, I am passionate about education. When you expect a lot out of children, they will rise to the occasion. Education is so important, and I love when I see children at a school that’s right for them. Having a great teacher can change a child’s life. And while I know how busy parents are today, I love seeing families doing their best to support their schools and work as partners with their children’s teachers.

“Make it work” applies to all areas of life. If there’s something you hate about your school, or your neighborhood, or your child’s sports team, make it work! Get involved in the PTA, contact your representatives in the government, or offer to assistant coach.

Too many of the parents I dealt with in higher education seemed to feel that they had to start a fight to get what they wanted. As the chair of the Fashion Design Department, I was the enemy. If the students didn’t have top-of-the-line resources or materials, it had to be my fault. Well, I was working incredibly hard to improve those things and was making great strides, but with no help, things take a while. What I always loved to hear was, “We need to get the students X, Y, and Z. What help do you need to make that happen?”

It wasn’t like I didn’t know. Frequently, I would disarm students and parents by saying, “You’re right. There is a problem there.” There is no reason to try to hide things; it doesn’t work! I could tell the complainers, “We need this amount of money added to our budget in this area,” or “We need a contact at this organization to get this grant.” If others besides me were advocating for something, it tended to happen much faster than it otherwise would have.

They would expect me to be defensive, but I would say, “You’re right. We need to fix that. Here’s why we haven’t fixed it so far, and here’s our plan to get it done.”