Simply Magic

that I have driven you away.” She laughed. “Oh, will you come? To please me?”

She would never know the turmoil her words had set up within him.

He was actually being invited-even urged-to go to Bath. But not just that. It seemed altogether probable that he would see Susanna there if he went. Surely as a friend and former colleague of the bride she would be invited to this wedding breakfast.

He could see her again.

She surely would not wish to see him, though, he reminded himself. By now she probably hated him as some sort of archvillain, and how could he blame her if she did? Dash it all, first he had debauched her, then he had made her a most improper offer, and then he had escorted her back to Barclay Court, bidden her a cheerful farewell in company with the Edgecombes, and gone riding off without a backward glance.

At the time he had convinced himself that it was because she had said it must be that way.

But he had guessed something about the newlyweds, though neither Lauren nor the duchess was indiscreet enough actually to put it into words. The new Mrs. Butler was probably with child-a fact that would explain both the haste and the secrecy of the nuptials. She had spent a month of the summer in Wales, he could recall Susanna’s saying-doubtless on the very estate where Sydnam was steward. She had gone there with the Hallmeres, had she not?

And his suspicions led him suddenly to wonder if perhaps Susanna too…

The very thought was enough to cause his stomach to lurch into a somersault and leave him feeling decidedly queasy.

But surely if it were so she would have let him know. She would have written to him.

Would she?

He knew very well she would not.

Good Lord! Damn it to hell! He should have thought of it sooner and made an effort to discover the truth for himself. That would have been the gentlemanly thing to do-if there were a gentlemanly way to handle such a situation. Or had he thought of it and suppressed the ghastly possibility? He was not a total ignoramus after all, was he? He knew what frequently resulted when men slept with women.

Perhaps he had assumed that if he suppressed the thought, the whole ghastly possibility would just go away.

All these jumbled thoughts and counterthoughts flashed through his head in a mere second or two while he smiled cheerfully back at Lauren.

“I have nothing better to do with myself,” he said, “and I would like to see Sydnam again and wish him happy. Yes, I would be delighted to go with you.”

He had thought he would never see Susanna Osbourne again.

He had even thought that within a week or two he might forget how badly he had treated her. Perhaps it was to his credit that he had not done so, though he certainly did not congratulate himself too highly on that score.

But now he was going to Bath. And he almost certainly was going to see her once more.

It was necessary that he do so, he told himself. He would far rather go somewhere else. But he did need to discover if he had done her any lasting harm, and it really was too bad of him that he had left it so long.

Oh, dash it all! What if?…

Yes, indeed.

What if?

13

Susanna returned to Bath in the Earl of Edgecombe’s well- sprung traveling carriage. By the time it rocked to a halt outside the school on Daniel Street, she had tucked away all her raw, bruised emotions deep inside herself and was able to smile as the door opened and Mr. Keeble peered out. Almost immediately Claudia and then Anne came hurrying past him out onto the pavement, both beaming happily as they waited to hug her.

All her emotions were generally happy ones for the next little while as she assured her friends and then the girls, whom she joined in the middle of their tea, that she was very delighted to be back even though she had had an absolutely marvelous time in Somerset. And they all looked delighted to see her. She felt enveloped in familiarity and love.

She was home.

And from this moment on she would have plenty with which to occupy her mind. There was a whole busy school term to plan for and look forward to.

The journey, comfortable as the earl’s carriage undoubtedly was, had been dreadful. With only herself for company, she had been unable to stop the memories of the past two weeks from churning around and around in her head-particularly, of course, the memory of that last afternoon. She could still scarcely believe that it had actually happened-that she had allowed it to happen. But it had-and she had. She had been aware with every turn of the carriage wheels that she was moving farther and farther from him -which was a foolish thought indeed when they had always been universes apart.

Even when they were children his sister had been horrified to see them playing together and had dragged him away.

She had had her great adventure, her grand romance of a lifetime, Susanna decided with great good sense once she was back home, and now it was time to get back to reality.

And yet her determination to be cheerful was tested the very evening of her return. Claudia had gone out to dine with the parents of one of the new pupils, and Anne had invited Susanna to come and sit in her room for a while after all the girls had gone to their dormitory.

Susanna sat on the bed, always her favorite perch, her arms clasped about her raised knees, while Anne sat on the chair beside her desk. They talked about Frances for a while until Anne broke a short, not uncomfortable silence with a question.

“And what of you?” she asked. “Did you really have a lovely time? Did you meet anyone interesting?”

For one moment Susanna considered pouring out the whole sorry story to her friend. But it was just too intensely personal-especially its ending. Maybe later, when the memories were not quite so raw, she would confide in Anne, but not now. Not yet.

“Like a duke to sweep me off my feet and bear me off to his castle as his bride?” She laughed at the old joke. “No, not quite, alas. But Frances and Lord Edgecombe were very obliging, Anne, and made sure that there was some entertainment for me to attend almost every day, even though I am sure they would have been just as happy to relax and be quiet together after being away for so long. I met some amiable and interesting people, most of whom I knew from before, of course.”

“But no one special?” Anne asked.

Susanna’s heart felt like a leaden weight in her chest.

“No,” she said. “Not really.”

Anne raised her eyebrows.