Letterman! Or Oprah!” He looked at her blankly, as he usually did when she had to describe something complicated.
“Oh, God, just wait here a second, okay? I’ll show you.”
She dashed out of the living room and down the hallway to Professor Cooksey’s rooms. To her surprise she found Kevin poking around the office.
“What’re you doing?” she asked.
“Looking for you. Want to go out somewhere?”
“Sure, where?” she said, a little startled. In her experience, Kevin was not one to propose amusing trips.
“Oh, I don’t know. We could go to the zoo. Hang out with Bill Kearney. Play with the animals.” When she hesitated, he added, “We could take the little guy along. He’s probably never been to a zoo.”
Jenny felt a wave of gratitude. That was so Kevin, she thought. Just when you were going to give up on him he’d do something real nice. She gave him a hug and said, “Sure, I just have to show him something.” With that, she grabbed Cooksey’s Panasonic camcorder from its shelf and checked the tape and battery.
“That’s a fancy unit,” Kevin said. “You sure you know what you’re doing with it?”
“Oh, yeah,” said Jenny. “I lived with this foster family once, this guy, Harold Logan, was like totally obsessed with that program America’s Funniest Home Videos? He would, like, make the kids do stuff, like crash their bikes and fall into pies, dumb shit like that. He was dying to win the grand prize, it was, like, thousands of dollars, and he kept sending tapes to them and never got on the show. Personally I thought it was fixed. Anyway, I was the oldest kid, so he taught me how to use one of these because he thought it would be funnier if he was in the tape. Okay, so he set up this shot with a trampoline they had? He was a big fat dude. The kids were jumping off the porch roof onto the trampoline, climbing out the bedroom window and bouncing off it. That was the setup. Then he comes out of the window and jumps, and the deal was he rigged the trampoline to, like, collapse when he hit it. That was the stupid joke, right? But it didn’t collapse, and he comes off of it, boing, and flies through the air and crashes into the barbecue, which he had going for hot dogs and shit, and it goes over with the table he had the charcoal lighter on, and it spills and it catches him on fire. I mean, fuck, his hair and everything and his wife comes running out and tries to put him out with a pitcher of lemonade that she’s carrying, but he’s still burning, yelling curse words and everything, and finally she put him out with the hose. I got the whole thing on tape.”
“Did he win?”
“No, man, he was like all burned up, really ugly, and they would’ve had to, I don’t know, bleep out all the holy shit motherfuckers and all, so it could be on the show. And after that they took all the kids out of there for endangering.”
“Yeah, well, that’s show business.”
“I guess,” she said and carried the camcorder back to the living room, Kevin tagging along behind her.
She showed the camcorder to Moie. “See. This is like the one on the TV, except I think this one is better. What I was saying is they’re going to make a tape of you so you can tell your story on the TV.” With that, she pointed the camera at Moie. To her immense surprise, he let out a scream of horror and ran out of the room. Jenny stared after him in dismay.
“What’d I do?”
Kevin laughed and said, “Maybe he has stage fright. What’s this about making a tape?” Jenny explained what she’d heard at the meeting.
“Yeah, it figures,” said Kevin dismissively. “More public relations shit.”
“Well, do you have any better ideas?”
“Who me? Nah, I’m just a worker bee. So, do you want to go?”
“Sure. Let me put this back.”
She had just replaced the machine when Cooksey came into the room and looked at her inquiringly.
“I was just showing Moie what a camcorder was,” she explained. “We were watching the TV, and I said he was going to be on TV and I wasn’t getting through to him, so I brought it out, and you know what? He looked like I was trying to shoot him or something and he ran away. Shit, maybe he thought it was a gun.”
“Oh, I doubt that. I’m sure he knows what a gun is.”
“You think? Anyway, me and Kev want to take Moie to the zoo with us. Would that be okay?”
She asked hesitantly because of what had happened the last time Kevin and Moie were out together, but Cooksey seemed delighted with the notion. “What a splendid idea!” he said, smiling. “I’m sure that will be an interesting experience for all.”
She found the Indian in the old shed where he had chosen to sling his hammock, crouched on the ground, mumbling to himself and looking unhealthy in the light that streamed through the dirty green corrugated fiberglass roof. It took her a while to convince him to go and to explain what a zoo was. She mimed several types of animals- the monkey, the parrot, the tiger-while he stared. At last he collected the bits of bone and feather he had been fiddling with and replaced them in the woven bag he always carried. She had given him a FPA T-shirt and a pair of old Bermuda shorts she’d found in the house and she made him put these on, and a pair of rubber flip-flops, and then they joined Kevin in the VW van.
The drive to the zoo down in the south county was forty minutes, during which Kevin played a Metallica tape at top volume, while Jenny spoke to Moie. The Indian sat between them on the bench seat like a good child, looking straight ahead. He seemed to be in a trance, although Jenny was sure he was picking up on what she was saying. She kept hoping that somehow, if she talked to him long enough, even chatter, he would somehow acquire the ability to speak English. She had once shared a home with a kid who didn’t speak at all and she had done that and after a while he extruded a word or two, and she recalled how good that had made her feel.
Rupert was a big shot at the Zoological Society of Florida, so they had cards that got them in free, and once past the gate, Kevin headed straight for the Metro zoo office, where he found out where his pal Kearney was working.
“He’s fixing some pipe near the petting zoo,” Kevin reported, and they walked down the path in that direction. It was a fine fall day, sunny with small clouds, and the zoo was pleasantly uncrowded. Jenny explained the concept of a petting zoo to Moie.
“It’s where kids get to touch the animals. Pet them.” She petted his arm to demonstrate. They passed a food concession and she bought a soda and a corn dog, offering Moie a bite and asking him if he wanted anything to eat. He put his finger on his mouth, which she had learned was the sign for not wanting to eat. She wondered what the opposite sign was. “Jeez, man, you never eat anything,” she said. “What’s up with that?” Then Kevin spotted Kearney kneeling over a valve box set into the pavement.
Jenny watched the men greet each other and submitted to the usual hug and the usual little grope. She didn’t care for Kearney, a small guy with smudged black plastic glasses, pale eyes, and a weaselly look. He had many ornaments pierced through his face and his arms were heavily tattooed, giving him the appearance of a malevolent Christmas tree. Kevin told her to take the little guy to see the animals, him and Kearney were going to talk some business for a minute, which Jenny thought was just a way of going off and getting stoned. She said nothing but felt a little blue because this was not going to be a fun trip after all but probably another of Kevin’s stupid deals. She started feeling annoyed at Moie, too, she always had to mind stuff, kids and animals and now this dumb Indian who you couldn’t even talk to….
She grabbed his arm and led him through the little gate into the petting zoo. There they met a white goat on the path. The goat stopped, stared, did a 180 in the air, and raced away at top speed, scattering families and knocking over a toddler. The herd of sheep raced in a tight mob to the farthest corner of their enclosure, where they packed into a tight pile bleating, their stupid faces occasionally popping up to stare before vanishing in a mate’s wool. The rabbits scrabbled and squealed their high-pitched cries; the two burros tried vainly to leap their fence. A zoo employee who had been showing a few children how to feed a calf from a bottle was staggered when the calf tore away and went dashing back to its mother, bawling.
Jenny led Moie through the area, growing increasingly nervous, as it was clear that something was wrong. Every animal was going nuts, and the people were picking up screaming kids in their arms and running out of the place. Jenny saw fancy pigeons battering themselves bloody on the mesh of their cage. A pair of peafowl struggled clumsily into the air and alighted on a low limb of a live oak, the male filling the air with its demonic screams. As they walked, it dawned at last on Jenny that they were the locus of the worst of this animal pandemonium. She
