always, dear human, so monumental, your expectations so incredible, that I am most amused. Even as it was, the repulsive toad hopping about on that pile of fungus tipped the balance in your favor, four to three. Fortunately for all of you, that worthless creature is of no consequence, and I could dispatch it with a single gesture if I so chose. But now Szhublox comes — another matter altogether! Do you really think We will consent to that puddle of slime joining this conclave?'
'Your madness and lust are what bring conflict between us always,' Iggwilv replied condescendingly. 'The toad is obviously a niggling, just as are the harlots you enjoy surrounding yourself with. As for the Demon of Slime, I should hardly have to point out that Zuggtmoy's dear kinsman was not some agent brought to attack. Szhublox was nothing more than a late arrival.'
'Your words are dung, crone of crones,' Graz'zt retaliated. 'We agreed to an equality of force to assure no tricks. It was to be three and three.'
'Szhublox is the third,' interjected Zuggtmoy, shooting forth a cloud of spores as she spoke.
Kostchtchie sneered at this remark and issued his own rejoinder. 'You are too stupid to even think straight, Queen of Rot.'
Zuggtmoy returned the insult by simply ignoring the demon's statement. Iggwilv spoke next, and further demeaned Kostchtchie by again addressing Graz'zt. 'I am a disinterested party,' she explained patiently. 'How can I be else as the mother of your own beloved son? Therefore, Zuggtmoy, Szhublox, and dear Iuz are three, just as you and your two thegns make a trio.'
Yeenoghu threw back his ugly head and issued a series of giggling, yowling barks to demonstrate his rage. Kostchtchie's skin took on a dark mustard color as he too flushed with rage at Iggwilv's words. He hefted his huge iron hammer and strode toward the gorgeous-looking grand witch. It was evident that he meant to destroy Iggwilv's beauty in one blow. But before he could get close enough to bring himself and his target into conflict, Graz'zt intervened.
'Stay, Marshal of the Abyss!' ordered the demon prince. 'You too, Viceroy, contain thine ire! The woman speaks with hubris, but such petty insults and twisted words are to be expected. Refrain from your actions. I will handle this.'
Both great demons glared at Graz'zt as he spoke, but they slowly brought their anger under control. Yeenoghu continued to snarl, baring his fangs. Kostchtchie glared, but lowered his hammer to a less threatening position.
'You and your cohorts are four,' Graz'zt continued, 'but since you and your sprat at best equal one, I shall be generous and allow your attempt to disturb the parity of this conference to stand.'
Iggwilv only smiled sarcastically at the demon prince's blustering words. Iuz, however, showed that Graz'zt's statement stung him. The cambion's skin turned an angry maroon, and he retorted.
'We shall see who makes what, Graz'zt! Give Me your demonhorde now, and all Oerth will be Mine!'
Now it was the so-called king's turn to retaliate. 'Give Me the Theorpart, boy, and you shall have ten thousand of my fiercest demons at your beck and call!'
'What?! How dare-'
Iuz's angry words were cut short by Graz'zt. 'I am now King!' the great ebon demon thundered. 'I dare anything! A dozen layers of the Abyss bow to My will, and a dozen more are tributary. Orcus cowers from Me! Mandrillagon hides rather than face Me on the battlefield! Still, Prince Lugush remains uncommitted, Eblitis and Marduk stall, and Var-Az-Hloo and his lickspittle dogs Chidun, Zomar, and Yuibiri war upon Us. Should Bulumuz and Azazel happen to make cause with them, Our advance will be checked. Then the fat sheep-head Orcus and the freakish Mandrillagon will crawl forth once more to claim power here and there…' Graz'zt paused, smiled at the cambion he had sired, and then said, Thus, dear son, your father does properly demand that you give filial obedience to Him so that He may shed His glory upon His offspring thereafter. Give Me the Theorpart!'
Drawing himself up to his own considerable height, Iuz rebutted the statements just made by the newly proclaimed king. 'Know you, Graz'zt, that I am now Emperor of the Flanaess! True, some petty kingdoms still need to be subjugated, but the north is Mine, the west is under siege, and the heartlands will soon fall under the might of My hand. Despite such sweeping victories, the Theorpart must remain with Me. Aerdy is marshaling legions of devils, while the Scarlet Scum hides Hierarchs and recruits enemies of Iuz and the Abyss as well.' Pointing an accusing finger at the huge, six-fingered demon who was his progenitor, the cambion demanded, 'You will detail forces to Me, so that My conquest of Oerth can be completed in the face of My… Our enemies!'
'Bah! You blither weakling words,' Graz'zt shot back with a sneer stretching his handsome, if demoniac, face. 'You will give Me the Theorpart as I have ordered you to do. As a faithful vassal, dear Iuz, My son, I will furnish you with horde upon horde of My demons as soon as all of the Abyss bows to My might!'
That will be eons from now, if ever,' Iggwilv retorted smugly.
Kostchtchie grunted angrily and hefted his iron hammer. 'Lying and perverse old human bag! Bow to the will of King Graz'zt, or by All Unholy-'
'You bandy-legged bastard! My fungi will feed upon your filthy yellow flesh,' Zuggtmoy said as she altered shape, and strange buds began to form on the mass of her body.
'You are wrong, toadstool!' Yeenoghu growled as he lifted his terrible flail and advanced. 'I'll spread bits and spores across this no-place so that your little mushrooms will be without a head!' With this, the hyena-headed demon vented his awful giggling bark as a battle cry.
Szhublox spread forth slimy pseudopods to counter Yeenoghu's threat while Graz'zt faced off against the hard-visaged Iggwilv and livid Iuz. The lesser demons still in attendance could see what was happening. They assumed ferocious postures but held back, for they had not been commanded to take part and no actual combat had occurred. They were powerless to affect the course of events, but it was apparent to them that in a moment the null-space would become a war ground of unimaginable sort.
'It had to come to this,' Graz'zt grated harshly as he raised his huge sword.
'You are at least right about that!' Iuz snarled back, hefting his own weapon.
'Both of you, stop!'
This last came from Iggwilv, who in the space of an eye-blink had placed herself between the two rivals. Iuz was stunned at this, instantly suspecting some treachery against him on the part of his mother. Graz'zt too, a victim once of the mighty powers of this human terror, seemed surprised and disconcerted. Iggwilv's move was sufficient to make both demon and cambion pause.
'If we fight among ourselves — even if some of us survive the battle — all of our enemies profit,' said the witch. Think on it, Graz'zt: Orcus and all those in the Abyss would be jubilant. Consider, Iuz, what comfort this will give to the Hierarchs and the Brotherhood and the others. The Hells will rejoice! Hades, Tarterus, and Gehenna will hold revels! The scum of the upper planes will vaunt, and the lord-lings of Oerth's kingdoms will be reprieved. If we are to prevail, then we must cooperate. Fight now, and those who wish to oppose our ends will do so — and succeed!'
'Wise words, greatest of witches,' Graz'zt said as he lowered his massive blade a little. 'Yet the resolution of matters can go but one way…'
'Yes,' Iuz concurred, 'and I shall retain what is Mine!'
As this brief conversation took place, the hostile groups had continued to glare at and threaten one another, but no actual violence occurred. 'Good, good!' Iggwilv cackled gently as the commotion diminished slightly, the sound seeming exceptionally strange and gruesome coming from so lovely a throat. Then, with much more forcefulness, she added, 'Both sides, cease your foolish displays!' After the antagonists had calmed down, Iggwilv spoke again.
'You are both right and wrong,' she said to Graz'zt and Iuz at the same time. The demon prince glowered at this, and the cambion spat, but the witch ignored both of them and went on. 'Iuz has the Theorpart, and since he is weaker than you are, dear Graz'zt, he must retain it now and forever.'
Graz'zt drew in his breath to spew forth an outraged reply to this, but Iggwilv cut off his tirade before it could begin. 'Wait! There is more than one Theorpart, Graz'zt, and you might have another,' she said.
'You know as well as I that the dung-eating Brotherhood holds it,' the demon-king grumbled. 'Even I cannot wrest it from that pack of curs. Its own power and the weight of the dukes of Hell combine to stop me.'
Iggwilv nodded, accepting the truth of that statement. Then, smiling, she pointed out a new fact.
'That portion of the artifact held by the Scarlet Brotherhood is a Theorpart, but it isn't the one I speak of. The final portion remains hidden somewhere.'
