Waterborn

cautious.

'All Royal Children are taught that,' she muttered.

'Oh, no, Princess. You will not lie to me. That is the first and only thing I will teach you. With a willow rod, if necessary.'

Tsem growled. 'You will not,' he said.

'Hold your tongue, servant. You have introduced your mistress. I will not hear from you again unless I ask you a question. Indeed, you will wait outside.'

'He will not,' Hezhi insisted, taking a step nearer her guardian. 'Tsem stays with me, always.'

'Not in here, he doesn't. Not unless he can read, that is.' Ghan looked up speculatively at the huge man.

Tsem could read, but Hezhi knew better than to admit that. Servants who could read were considered dangerous and were usually punished.

'Of course he can't read,' Hezhi said, hearing her own voice falter. Her manufactured confidence was rapidly failing her in the face of this terrible old man.

'Then he can wait outside.'

'No.'

'Princess,' Ghan said testily, 'he can wait outside, or I can send a message to the court, requesting to see your petition to study here. That is what I should do in any case.'

Hezhi hesitated a long moment before relenting.

'Wait outside, Tsem,' she said at last. Tsem said nothing, but his expression showed that he did not approve of her decision. He padded silently to the door and took up a place just beyond it, so that he could still see in.

Ghan watched him go, betraying no satisfaction at having his order obeyed. He then rose and moved to the nearest section of shelves. After a moment's study, he selected a single volume, took it down, and brought it over to Hezhi.

'Open this to the first page and read me what you see there,' he demanded.

Hezhi took the book gingerly. It looked quite old, bound with copper rivets green with age. The cover was of some animal skin, which marked it as being at least a century old. The cotton paper was still white, however, if very soft from age and use. Hezhi opened the book, gazed down at the faded black characters for several long moments.

'It's something about the Swamp Kingdoms,' she said at last. 'This part is talking about the annual flooding of the delta.'

'Read it out loud.'

Hezhi brushed her hair out of her face. She glanced toward Tsem, hoping for a little courage.

'Ah, let's see. 'Herein begins our—something—we undertake to—ah—something—the many divisions of the delta lands—ah— inundated—the many dams and levees—'

'Stop.' Ghan reached over and took the book from her hands, gently closed it.

'I'm sorry,' Hezhi whispered. 'I just didn't know all of those characters.'

Ghan sat back down on his stool. 'I want to know how you know any of them.'

'I have a few books.'

'Do you? In the old script?'

'I have a copy of the Hymn to Bitter Lands.'

'Who taught you to read it?'

'I also have a book about the old script.'

Ghan crooked his mouth to one side. 'You mean you taught yourself?'

'Yes.'

'That would explain your awful pronunciation, wouldn't it?'

Hezhi felt herself near tears. 'I didn't know my pronunciation was bad.'

Ghan shrugged almost imperceptibly. 'Why do you want to study here, Princess?'

'What else is there for me to do?'

'Go to parties. Court young men. You must nearly be a woman now.'

'I don't like parties,' she replied.

Ghan nodded. 'Princess, let me tell you the truth. I'm a little impressed that you taught yourself this much of the ancient script. It shows that you have sense somewhere in that little head. It's not too rare for you royal brats to come in here and waste my time, to try to learn just enough to make sparkling conversation and impress the court. What is rare is a young woman who already knows how to read. If you were a man, Princess, I would not turn you away. I might teach you something. But you are not a man. In a year or two, you will be a woman, and you will marry some fair-faced fool, and he will not want you to be smarter than he is. Teaching you would be a waste of my time, and I have little enough time to waste.'

Anger was lurking behind Hezhi's fear and intimidation, hidden like a cat. Now it sprang like a cat, suddenly and without warning. 'I would not want to waste your time!' she snapped. 'I don't care if you teach me anything. Just sit here with your stupid pen and your stupid ink, and I'll find whatever I need. I'll teach myself, like I always have. Just leave me alone and stay out of my way!'

Ghan shook his head. 'One must be taught how to use a library, whether one can read or not. You want to know about architecture. Do you think the books that treat that subject are somehow going to leap out at you? You think we keep them all together?'

'I don't care! I'll find what I want!'

Ghan stared at her, and beneath his skeptical gaze, Hezhi felt her anger begin to retreat once more. Without its heat, it was difficult to withstand Ghan's scrutiny, but she forced herself to, even when her anger was stone cold and she became frightened at her own outburst. She wondered if she should add a 'please?' to her last statement, but now her jaw seemed frozen in place.

Ghan nodded suddenly. 'Very well. You will be very quiet. You will never speak to me. You will be very careful with my books, and the first time you tear one sheet of paper, I will send notice to your father and have you barred from this place. Do you understand these conditions, Princess?'

Hezhi nodded dumbly, at last letting her gaze stray to the richly embroidered carpet beneath her feet. 'Yes, Ghan.'

'Good.' Ghan took his writing board back up into his lap, retrieved his parchment, brush, and ink. He did not look back up at her.

Her knees shaking a bit, Hezhi turned to confront the hundreds upon hundreds of shelves that seemed to lead back into infinite depths.

Like the darkness, she thought to herself. Two years ago, I stepped into real darkness for the first time, searching for D'en. Into the unknown.

Here I go again.

 

 

'Confusing,' Hezhi told Tsem, as the wind fluttered the cottonwood leaves above their heads. 'You could know exactly what you want and never find it. But I made progress, I think.'

'What are you trying to find?' Tsem muttered, scratching at an ant bite on his hairy lower leg. Nearby, water gurgled in an alabaster fountain beneath a sky of lapis lazuli and gold. The roof garden of her mother's apartments was one of Hezhi's favorite places.

Hezhi snorted. 'You know. Maps. Old maps, drawn before this city was built upon the flooded one. Maps I can use to figure out how to get to D'en other than by the Darkness Stair.'

'If D'en is even…' Tsem cut that off; how many times in the past two years had they had this argument? The given was that Hezhi would assume D'en was alive until she had evidence that he was not.

But this time Hezhi's face clouded, not with anger, but with sorrow. 'I… Tsem, I'm not sure I remember what he looked like any more. He had black hair like mine, and a little round face… Sometimes I wonder if it's even him I'm trying to find, now. But I loved him so much, Tsem. It