Primly grunted. ‘Driving you, you said. So, likely there’s a damned army waiting for us this side of Letheras. The anvil.’
‘Aye, which is why I think we should wait here a bit. It’s risky, I know, since the Edur might return and next time there might be a thousand of them.’
Badan Gruk’s thinned eyes grew yet thinner. ‘Hoping your Fist is going to catch up with a lot more marines.’
‘Your Fist now, too, Badan Gruk.’
A sharp nod, then a scowl. ‘We only got thrown into the mix because of the 4th’s losses at Y’Ghatan.’
‘The Adjunct keeps making changes,’ Primly said. ‘We don’t have Fists in charge of nothing but marines-not since Crust’s day-’
‘Well, we do now. We’re not in the Malazan Army any more, Primly.’
‘Yes, Fiddler, I’m aware of that.’
‘That’s my suggestion,’ Fiddler repeated. ‘Wait here for a while. Let our mages get some rest. And hope Keneb shows and hope he’s got more than a few dozen marines with him. Now, I’m not much for this seniority thing. I’d rather we sergeants just agreed on matters, so I’m not holding you to anything.’
‘Gesler agrees with you, Fiddler?’
Aye.’
‘What of Hellian and Urb?’
Fiddler laughed. ‘Tavern’s still wet, Primly.’
The sun had gone down, but no-one seemed eager to go anywhere. Traffic in and out of the tavern occurred whenever another cask needed bringing out. The tavern’s main room was a slaughterhouse no-one was inclined to stay in for very long.
Smiles walked over to where Koryk sat. ‘His name’s Skulldeath, if you can believe that.’
‘Who?’
‘Nice try. You know who. The one who could kill you with his big toe.’
‘Been thinking about that attack,’ Koryk said. ‘Only works if they’re not expecting it.’
Smiles snorted.
‘No, really. I see someone flying at me I cut him in half. It’s not like he can retreat or change his mind, is it?’
‘You’re an idiot,’ she said, then nudged him. ‘Hey, met your twin brother, too. His name is Vastly Blank and between you two I’d say he got all the brains.’
Koryk glowered at her. ‘What is it you want with me, Smiles?’
She shrugged. ‘Skulldeath. I’m going to make him mine.’
‘Yours?’
‘Yes. Did you know he’s saving himself for a woman of royal blood?’
‘That’s not what the men inclined that way are saying.’
‘Where’d you hear that?’
‘Besides, you’re hardly royal blood, Smiles. Queen of shell-shuckers won’t cut it.’
‘That’s why I need you to lie for me. I was a Kanese princess-sent into the Malazan Army to keep the Claw from finding me-’
‘Oh, for Hood’s sake!’
‘Shh! Listen, the rest in the squad said they’d be happy to lie for me. What’s wrong with you?’
‘Happy… ha, that’s good. Very good.’ He then turned to study her. ‘You’re eager for Skulldeath to take one of those flying leaps straight between your legs? You want to get pregnant with some prince from some Seven Cities flying squirrel tribe?’
‘Pregnant? Aye, when dolphins walk and fish nest in trees. I won’t get pregnant,’ she pronounced. ‘Bottle’s giving me some herbs to take care of that. My beloved Skulldeath can empty gallons of his seed into me for Hood- damned ever and there won’t be any little jackrabbits jumping round.’;
‘He’s got the face of a girl,’ Koryk said. ‘And the men say he kisses like one, too.’
‘Who’s telling you all this?’
‘Saving his seed, that’s a laugh.’
‘Listen, those men, they don’t mean nothing. Now, am I a Kanese princess or not?’
‘Oh, aye. Rival to the empire’s throne, in fact. Be the fly-ing fish to the flying squirrel and make your nest in some tree, Smiles. When all’s done what’s needed doing.’
She surprised him with a bright smile. ‘Thanks, Koryk. You’re a true friend.’
He stared after her as she hurried off. Poor lass. The squirrel’s saving his seed because he doesn’t know what to do with it, is my guess.
A figure walked past in the gloom and Koryk squinted until he recognized the man’s gait. ‘Hey, Bottle.’
The young mage halted, looked over, then, feet dragging, approached.
Koryk said, ‘You’re supposed to be asleep.’
‘Thanks.’
‘So you’re giving Smiles special herbs, are you. Why do you-’
‘I’m what?’
‘Herbs. So she won’t get pregnant.’
‘Look, if she doesn’t want to get pregnant, she should just stop straddling every-’
‘Hold on, Bottle! Wait. I thought she’d talked to you. About herbs which you promised to give her-’
‘Oh, those herbs. No, you got it all wrong, Koryk. Those aren’t to keep her from getting pregnant. In fact, it’s some concoction of my grandmother’s and I’ve no idea if it even works, but anyway, it’s got nothing to do with not getting pregnant. Why, if she’d asked me about that kind of stuff, sure, there’s some very reliable-’
‘Stop! What-what does this concoction you’re giving her do to her, then?’
‘She’d better not be taking it! It’s for a man-’
‘For Skulldeath?’
‘Skulldeath? What…’ Bottle stared down for a long moment. ‘Do you know what skulldeath is, Koryk? It’s a plant that grows on Malaz Island and maybe Geni, too. You see, normally there’s male plants and there’s female plants and that’s how you get fruit and the like, right? Anyway, not so with the sweet little skulldeath. There’s only males-no females at all. Skulldeaths loose their-well, they spill it all out into the air, and it ends up somehow getting into the seeds of other plants and just riding along, hiding, until that seed sprouts, then it takes over and suddenly, another nice skulldeath with that grey flower that’s not really a flower at all, just a thin sack filled with-’
‘So, that concoction Smiles asked for-what does it do?’
‘Supposed to change a man who prefers other men into one who prefers women. Does it work? I have no idea.’
‘Skulldeath may be a plant,’ Koryk said, ‘but it’s also the name for a soldier in Primly’s squad. A pretty one.’
‘Oh, and that name…’
‘Is obviously very appropriate, Bottle.’
‘Oh. Poor Smiles.’
The Factor’s house might have looked nice, but it might as well have been made of straw, the way it fell down. Astonishing that no-one had died beneath all that wreckage. Urb at the least was certainly relieved by that, though his mood wilted somewhat after Hellian was through yelling at him.
In any case, thereafter satisfied and pleasantly feeling… pleasant, Hellian was anything but pleased when Balgrid’s appallingly unattractive face loomed into view directly in front of her. She blinked at him. ‘You’re shorter than I’d thought.’
‘Sergeant, I’m kneeling. What are you doing under the bar?’
‘I’m not the one who keeps movin’ it, Baldy.’
‘The other sergeants have agreed that we’re staying here for a while. You with them on that, Sergeant?’
‘Why not?’
‘Good. Oh, did you know, in the new squads, there’s another Kartoolii.’
‘Probbly a spy-they’re still after me, y’know.’
‘Why would they be after you?’
