He smiled. ‘Easily done, milady.’
When he was gone, Shardan swore softly under his breath. ‘He was angry with you.’
‘Oh?’ The hand that raised the goblet to her lips was, she saw, trembling.
‘Hanut wants your father to come to him, not the other way round. He won’t be a squirming pup to anyone.’
‘A pup is never strong enough to make the first move, Shardan Lim. He misunderstood my challenge.’
‘Because it implies a present failing on his part. A failing of his nerve.’
‘Perhaps it does, and that should make him angry with me? How, precisely, does that work?’
Shardan Lim laughed and as he stretched out it was clear that, free now of Hanut Orr’s shadow, he was like a deadly flower opening to the night. ‘You showed him up for the self-important but weak-willed bully that he is.’
‘Unkind words for your friend.’
Shardan Lim stared down at his goblet as he drank a mouthful. Then he said in a growl, ‘Hanut Orr is no friend of mine.’
The wine was making her brain feel strangely loose, untethered. She no longer even tasted each sip, there had been so many of them, the servant a silent ghost slipping in to refill her goblet. ‘I think he believes otherwise.’’I doubt it. It was some damned conspiracy with House Orr that saw my father assassinated. And now it seems my family is snared, trapped, and the games just go on and on.’
This was a most unexpected side of the man and she did not know how to respond to it. ‘Such honesty humbles me, Shardan Lim. For what it is worth, I will keep what I have heard this night to myself.’
‘No need, but thank you anyway. In fact, I’d rather your husband well understood how things stand. Hanut Orr is a dangerous man. House Lim and House Vidikas share many things, principal among them the stigma of disrespect on the Council. Contempt, even. I have been curious,’ and now the look he turned upon her was sharp, searching. ‘This venture of your husband’s, ever pushing for this ironmonger of his to attain membership in the Council-what does Gorlas play at?’
She blinked in confusion. ‘I’m sorry, I have no idea.’
‘Might you find out? For me?’
‘I am not sure if I can-Gorlas does not confide in me on such matters.’
‘Does he confide in you at all?’ He went on without waiting for her reply (not that she had one). ‘Lady Vidikas- Challice-he is wasting you, do you understand? I see this-gods, it leaves me furious! You are an intelligent woman, a beautiful woman, and he treats you like one of these silver plates. Just one more possession, one more piece in his hoard.’
She set her goblet down. ‘What do you want from me, Shardan Lim? Is this some sort of invitation? A conspiracy of love? Trysts behind my husband’s back? While he travels here and there, you and I meeting up in some squalid inn? Getting intimate with each other’s bodies, then lying back and making pointless plans, endlessly lying to each other about a future together?’
He stared across at her.
All the servants had with uncharacteristic discreetness vanished into the side chambers, the kitchens, anywhere but this dining room. Even the wine server had disappeared. It occurred to Challice that Shardan’s manservant had probably been free with coin among the house staff and that sly, silent man was now outside in the courtyard, passing a pipe to eager-eyed menials, and they were all laughing, snickering, rolling their eyes and worse.
Too late, she realized, to change any of that. To scour the lurid thoughts from their petty minds.
‘You describe,’ Shardan Lim finally said, ‘a most sordid arrangement, with all the cynicism of a veteran in such matters. And that I do not believe. You have been faithful, Challice. I would not so care for you otherwise.’
‘Oh? Have you been spying on me, then?’ It was a mocking question that lost its carefree aura as the man voiced no denial, and she suddenly felt chilled to the bone. ‘Following another man’s wife around does not seem an honourable thing to do, Shardan Lim.’
‘Love has no honour.’
‘Love? Or obsession? Is it not your own hunger for possession that has you cov-eting a woman owned by another man?’’He does not own you. That is my point, Challice. Such notions of ownership are nothing but twisted lies disguised as love. 1 have no interest in owning you. Nor in stealing you away-if I had I would have found an excuse to duel your husband long ago, and I would have killed him without compunction. For you. To give you hack your life.’
‘With you at the grieving widow’s side? Oh, that would look odd now, wouldn’t it? Me leaning on the arm of the man who murdered my husband. And you talk to me of freedom?’ She was, she realized, shocked sober. By what this man was re-vealing to her; by the stunning depth of his depraved desire.
‘Giving you back your life, I said.’
‘I will ask you again: what do you want?’
‘To show you what it means to be free. To cut your chains. Take me to your bed if you so desire. Or don’t. Send me out of here with your boot to my backside. The choice is yours. I want you to feel your freedom, Challice. In your soul-let it burn, bright or dark as you like, but let it burn! Filling you entirely.’
Her breaths came fast, shallow. Oh, this was a most unanticipated tactic of his. Give me nothing, woman. No, give it to yourself instead. Make use of me. As proof. Of your freedom. Tonight you can make yourself free again. The way it felt when you were younger, when there was no husband weighing down your arm. Before the solemn shackles were slipped on. A most extraordinary invitation indeed. ‘Where are my servants?’
‘Away for the rest of the night, Lady Vidikas.’
‘Just like Hanut Orr. Does he sit in some tavern right now, telling everyone-’
‘I arranged nothing with that bastard. And you must realize, he will talk whether anything happens or not. To wound you. Your reputation.’
‘My husband will then hear of it, even though nothing has happened.’
‘And should you stand before Gorlas and deny the rumours, will he believe you, Challice?’
No. He wouldn’t want to. ‘He will not accept being cuckolded.’
‘He will smile because he doesn’t care. Until it serves him to challenge one of us, me or Hanut, to a duel. On a point of honour. He is a fine duellist. A cruel one at that. He disregards all rules, all propriety. Victory is all that matters and if that means flinging sand into his opponent’s eyes he will do just that. A very dangerous man, Challice. I would not want to face him with rapiers bared. But I will if I have to.’ Then he shook his head. ‘But it won’t be me.’
‘No?’
‘It will be Hanut Orr. That is the man he wants for you. He’s given you to Hanut Orr-another reason he stormed off, since he finally understood that I would not permit it.’
‘So in Gorlas’s stead this night you have defended my honour.’
‘And failed, because Hanut is skewering your reputation even as we speak. When I said you can make use of me, Challice, I meant it. Even now, here, you can tell me to seek out Hanut-yes, I can guess where he is right now-and call him out. I can kill him for you.’
‘My reputation…’’Is already ruined, Lady Vidikas, and I am truly sorry for that, Tell me what you would have me do, Please.’
She was silent. It was getting difficult to think clearly. Consequences were crashing down like an avalanche and she was buried, all air driven from her lungs, Buried, yes, in what had not even happened.
Yet.
‘I will try this freedom of yours, Shardan Lim.’ He rose, one hand settling on the grip of his rapier. ‘Milady.’ Oh, how noble. Snorting, she rose. ‘You’ve taken hold of the wrong weapon.’ His eyes widened. Was the surprise real or feigned? Was there a glimmer of triumph in those blue, blue eyes? She couldn’t find it at all. And that frightened her. ‘Shardan…’
‘Milady?’
‘Make no wishes for a future. Do you understand me?’
‘I do.’
‘I will not free my heart only to chain it anew.’
‘Of course you won’t. That would be madness.’
She studied him a moment longer, and received nothing new for that effort. ‘I am glad I am not drunk,’ she
