'I can't,' she burst out. 'I can't shut it out.'
'Aradia, relax. That's your own fear preventing you, a double fear. First that you'll never be able to keep the whole world out of your private thoughts, and second that if you once stop Reading, you'll never be able to start again.'
'Damn you, Lenardo. How can you Read my thoughts better than I can myself?'
'I have taught hundreds of Readers. Over half of them had the same problem.'
'But I'm not a child,' she said in irritation. 'I'm a full-grown, fully empowered Adept.' The small cushion from one of the chairs went sailing toward Lenardo on the force of Aradia's frustration.
He caught it, laughing. 'And that solves your problem.'
'Hmm?'
'You're not Reading me anymore, and I can't Read you. I should have remembered that when you're functioning as an Adept, I can't Read a thing about you, not even your feelings.'
'Oh, you're right. That's a relief, and it seems what's happened hasn't affected my Adept powers.' Then, thoughtfully, 'Lenardo, exactly what has happened?'
'You're a Reader, Aradia. I've never heard of the ability not appearing until adulthood, but your Adept talent showed first and was trained, and you shut out Reading while you exercised it. And of course you grew up in a society that feared and hated Readers, so you probably suppressed Reading, didn't even recognize it until you got to know and trust a Reader.'
'On the other hand,' she said, 'maybe I caught it from you.'
'It's not a disease.'
'Perhaps Readers and Adepts don't have two separate talents at all,' she suggested. 'Maybe it's which one you look for and train and which one you fear. Lenardo, if I can do both, why can't you?'
When he didn't answer, 'Try it,' Aradia prodded him. '.'Something easy-light the candle.'
'I really don't want to carry it out to find a fire.'
'No, don't joke. Try to light the candle, Lenardo. Concentrate. It was made to burn. Fire is its natural state. Envision the flame.'
Lenardo concentrated until his head began to ache, but no flame appeared. Finally he said, 'It's not going to work, Aradia.'
'But it has to. If I can Read-'
'You simply have both talents. Some people are painters, and some people are musicians. Rarely, there is someone who can do both. So you have two talents. You are both Adept and Reader.'
'Possibly,' she said. 'But what do I do now?'
'I'll teach you everything I can,' said Lenardo. 'We'll see how much ability you can develop. Right now, though, you should get some more rest. You said you'd need to sleep till noon today.'
'I'm too excited to feel tired. I want to try Reading everything. But what if it's only you I can Read?'
'It may seem that way at first, if you develop the way a child does. It takes a while to Read thoughts other than those a Reader is deliberately projecting. Aradia, you know meditation exercises. Rest this morning and then don't eat until after we try some tests this afternoon.'
'Don't eat?'
'One morning's fast can't hurt you, but what kind of dietary compromise can we find for you?'
'Don't even bother to suggest that horse fodder you eat.'
'A few days of purifying diet won't hurt you, any more than a few meat meals at your castle hurt me.'
'Yes, Master,' she said in mock obedience, but she lay down. Although her thoughts were completely unReadable once more, he could see that she went quickly to sleep.
Lenardo had to exercise careful control to stop trembling before he could dress and leave Aradia's pavilion. At home he ate the hot cereal Cook placed before him, not because he wanted it but to avoid another lecture about keeping up his strength. As soon as he dared, he escaped to his room and began to Read.
Zendi was all around him, the morning bustle well begun, the harvesters already in the fields outside the walls, a caravan a three-hour journey away packing up camp to head into the city, while in the hillsHe was Reading effortlessly in every direction, well beyond the city walls that had previously approximated the radius of his nondirected perception. Incredulously, he let the circle expand, Reading east and west slightly beyond his borders and not quite to them north and south, as his lands expanded farther in those directions.
He found the same exquisite clarity that he had previously known only within the small circle of awareness, and he could focus on one thing and see it as if it were there within his grasp, complete to the smallest detail.
What is happening to me? I committed the cardinal abuse, impaired my powers… and now this!
Reading outward in a single direction, he was aware not only of Wulfston's castle but just as easily and at the same time the sea far beyond.
A sleepy Julia was allowing one of the women of Wulfston's household to comb her hair, while the lord of the castle was in his own room, dressing for travel. Then Wulfston went to Julia's room.
'Ready for breakfast?'
'But we can't leave yet,' she protested. 'Father hasn't contacted me, and he may not be able to reach me at the sea.'
//I'll reach you.//
'Oh!' Joy bubbled up in Julia's mind. 'Father's here now, Lord Wulfston.'
'Hello, Lenardo. Feeling better?'
'Father says he's completely recovered,' Julia relayed, 'and there's no hurry about returning to Zendi. Lady Aradia is still there.'
'Still? Lenardo, what are you two up to?'
Julia must have caught something of the consternation Lenardo tried to cover, for she giggled as she told Wulfston, 'He says you wouldn't guess in a hundred lifetimes. And… he thinks Aradia should tell you herself.'
'If that means Aradia will stay until we get there, I'm delighted,' said Wulfston. Then, guiding the gaping servant woman out, he told Julia, 'Meet me in the kitchen when you're through with your lesson, and don't forget to tell your father about helping Demetrius find his mares.'
'Aww, that was easy,' said Julia, but she nonetheless eagerly told Lenardo of helping one of Wulfston's men locate five horses lured into the hills by a wild stallion. He gathered that his foster daughter would soon have a swollen head if left to the adulation of nonReaders.
Only years of training and concentration allowed Lenardo to put this morning's events out of his mind and give Julia her lesson. She was improving rapidly, happy in her work, but she was now torn between her promised holiday and her consuming curiosity about what was happening in Zendi.
//Go and have a good time,// Lenardo told her, //but don't be a nuisance to Lord Wulfston.//
He managed to get through his morning's work and clear the afternoon for Aradia. Beginning with the simplest tests, he sought the limits of her current ability, similar to those of a child whose powers were newly wakened. When Lenardo verbalized his thoughts, she could Read them clearly. Other people were a blur of emotion except for an occasional clear thought, and she could not even sense inanimate objects, let alone visualize them.
'So I'm considerably less of a Reader than Julia,' she said when Lenardo decided that it was time to stop.
'At the moment, yes. If you were Julia's age, I'd pat you on the head and encourage you to do better tomorrow. As it is, I don't want to discourage you, but I don't want to raise false hopes, either.'
They were in Lenardo's room, seated on either side of his worktable. Now Aradia went to the window, staring out at the courtyard. 'I don't know if I want to Read any better.'
'Why not?'
'All my life I've judged people by their actions. I'm not sure I want to know their motivations.'
'I don't understand.'
'I know people act from selfish motives,' Aradia explained, turning to face him. 'My goal is to make working for me in my people's best interest, yet there are those who become caught up in patriotic fervor, and I might be tempted to trust such people more than those who were merely doing what was expedient.'
'Since you recognize the danger, Aradia, I do not think you will fall prey to it.'
Her violet eyes studied him. 'So you agree.'
He nodded slowly. 'Galen always acted from enthusiasm. I was the object of his enthusiasm for a time, but then came a time when I disagreed with him. He became disillusioned with me and was easy prey for
