I’ve got to take care of business, and then I’ll give you a tour.”
On the way up the stairs, she glimpsed a study. The door was partially open, revealing shelves full of books, a desk and a laptop computer on top.
She’d do well to see what was on the laptop, hopefully find out information Gillian could use.
But Callie’s attention was immediately diverted by Jammer’s firm butt in those heavenly jeans he was wearing. If she didn’t need the time to snoop…she’d make sure he ended up in bed with her. But she had to focus on why she was really here-and it wasn’t for a wine-filled Napa Valley vacation.
She was here to nab the Ghost, and she intended to do it.
True to his word, he took her to a charming master suite complete with a big inviting bed, whirlpool tub and a huge shower decked out with more showerheads and nozzles than she’d ever seen.
“Have a good nap and I’ll see you when you wake up,” he said, ready to turn and leave.
“We’ll talk strategy?”
“That was the plan.”
“I know that. I don’t have any expectations.”
“A woman like you who does this kind of a thing for a living never does, right?”
The way he said the words made her inner agent stand at attention. And that made her uneasy.
His big hand came up and caressed her neck. It would have been nothing for him to tighten it and choke the life out of her. But his fingers were gentle against her.
The attraction was there, pulling at her every time he looked at her. Strong, magnetic, beyond her control. And that made her uneasy all over again. He was trouble. A man with secrets in his eyes and a dark side he took great pains to camouflage. A man whose baser instincts ran just beneath the surface. Dangerous. She’d thought so more than once.
But it was as if she was addicted to him, to the danger he embodied. She couldn’t be sure. All she knew was that she was hip deep in alligators and they had razor-sharp teeth. Especially if he suspected her true identity.
But she was certain he would protect his boss with deadly force, so he couldn’t be suspicious of who she really was, or he would have killed her a long time ago.
Unless he was expecting to get something out of her. But what could that be? Of course, she did have something of great value to him-her contacts.
He got that distant look in his eyes again as if he was miles away, and she had to wonder what he was thinking. And who he really was, this man who gave her so much pleasure, tantalized her senses and made her feel so alive.
A man she would have to destroy to fulfill her mission.
He trailed the back of his hand up her neck to the side of her face and sighed. “You make me want to forget about everything, but that’s not possible.”
“No,” she agreed. “We both have a mission to accomplish.”
His eyes darkened slightly, and his smile hardened. “Interesting choice of words.”
She instantly wanted to bite her lip, frantically going over everything she’d said to him. He was standing entirely too close, so she was missing whatever it was he’d picked up on. She decided to play it cool even though she was feeling nothing of the sort. “Mixing business and pleasure can sometimes be a volatile combination. Don’t you agree?”
“As long as one doesn’t interfere with the other, it will work out fine for both of us.”
“I’m not some wide-eyed innocent. I know the score. All’s fair in love and war.”
“No, it isn’t. If things were fair,” he said, “we wouldn’t be attracted to each other in the first place.” He crowded her the tiniest bit nearer to the wall. “We’d never have gotten entangled.” He shifted a bit more. She didn’t stop him. “If things were fair, I’d have never gone to that hotel room in Paris and we would never have met.”
Her heart was beating so hard now she couldn’t even hear herself speak.
“Ah, Gina, if we were different people and this was a different situation, there would be no holding back.”
“Oh, Jammer. We are who we are.”
“Yes, with all those complications. Even though I want more, we will have to do with less.”
Of all the things he could have said, he’d chosen the one guaranteed to raise every defensive wall she could construct. She could never allow herself to be exposed in any way-and what he wanted from her would definitely qualify as exposure. But that was impossible if she wanted to continue with the work she was doing. And she did. Both for her own very selfish reasons and for the more noble goal of helping her country. She was somewhat ashamed to admit that it was the former that drove her far more than the latter. First for Allie, then for her brother, Max, who had been spirited away somewhere to protect both him and the DEA agent he’d been asked to protect.
For her it was about family and minimizing the danger to them. The Ghost was a threat to her country and Fuentes was a threat to her brother, Max, whom the drug lord wanted dead because of Max and Rio ’s humiliating escape from Fuentes’s compound. That terrible double threat had to be eliminated.
But Jammer’s recent confessions rattled her. He obviously had feelings for her. He’d orchestrated Miyagi’s death so that she would be safe-at great personal danger to himself and his boss. She wasn’t really sure what that said about him or his motivations, but she couldn’t exactly come out and ask him. Besides, she didn’t really want to know. It would only make matters worse.
Especially since she was unable to find that place inside her that would let her lie to herself, or at least come up with some small thing-anything, really-that she could latch on to as a means of protecting herself. Because the truth of the matter was that she wanted everything he did.
He’d never been far from her waking thoughts, despite the elapsed time since their last meeting, and no promise of ever seeing each other again. And damn, but he’d consumed her dreams for far, far too many nights.
But still, she’d never allowed herself the fantasy of this. Of them seeing each other again and reaching out for more than one another’s willing and quite ready body.
What he wanted was dangerous bordering on terrifying, and she discovered she was ill prepared to deal with any part of it. She had a job to do. An important one. People were counting on her to deliver as she always did. This was not the time for selfish pursuits, much less delusional ideas that there could ever be something other than a very intense, deeply passionate and fulfilling physical relationship. Hell, she didn’t even think she could handle
There was no way she could tell him anything. His loyalty was to the Ghost and hers to Watchdog. She would see him and his boss in handcuffs, facing federal charges, before all was said and done.
“Jammer, we both know that I’m going to do what I have to do and so will you. So let’s take the fun we have together while we can and enjoy it.”
“I agree, but-” he cupped her chin “-if things were different…” His tone was quiet, even sincere, if not particularly warm.
“It would require a different set of answers.”
His mouth came down on hers unexpectedly, full of want and desire, like a rushing wave she couldn’t hope to stop. It took her over completely, tossing her around until she was breathless and disoriented.
He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead to hers. “Get some rest and we’ll talk later.”
Not able to speak, she nodded and he turned to go. But before he left the room, she heard his voice, thick with emotion. “Just one question.”
“Jammer, don’t.”
“I have to know, Gina. If there was a chance for us, would you take it?”
She had to struggle to find her sense of balance, since every facet of her equilibrium was threatened, physically, emotionally, intellectually.
“I wish it was that simple,” she said, not able to commit to anything and keep her sanity.
He accepted her answer and left her standing there with her back against the wall, as if it was the only thing that held her upright.
