The Broken Sphere

vessel and crew shipshape, but that didn't make it any less distracting and frustrating.

How much worse must it be for Djan? the Cloakmaster found himself wondering. Djan Alantri had voluntarily taken on most of the responsibilities of organizing the crew. He was handling almost all facets of shipboard routine, from assigning duties to organizing watches, right up to training those crew members who might need a little help. For example, not long ago, Djan had been directly below him in the helm compartment, discussing with the primary helmsman-a corpulent human priestess of Ptah with the unlikely name of Blossom-exactly how to handle the orders she'd hear when the ship next went to battle stations. Teldin sighed. He was lucky to have Djan as his first mate; he was constantly being reminded of that fact. As if to reinforce it again, he noted that the indefatigable half-elf was running the crew through yet another battle station drill.

Well, up here on the sterncastle, at least, it was peaceful. By unspoken agreement, the crew had deemed the sterncastle as 'officer country.' Until battle stations were officially sounded and the ballista crews had to man their weapons, the afterdeck was reserved for the ship's pensive captain and any members of his officer corps with the temerity to interrupt his thoughts.

Even though he found this strange sign of respect rather amusing, Teldin had to appreciate the privacy. He needed time to think and figure out his feelings.

Just what do I feel? he asked himself. Excitement, definitely. He might well have found the most important clue yet in his quest for an answer to the question of the cloak. Fear? That, too-stemming largely from the two sides of a single question: What if I don't find the answer, and what if I do? Then there was a flurry of conflicting emotions, a bubbling stewpot of wants and desires, fears and anxieties, that he didn't really want to analyze yet.

'Serious thoughts?'

He turned at the sound of a soft voice beside him.

Julia was leaning against the aft rail an arm's length from him. How long has she been there? he asked himself. The light of the distant Heart reflected off her hair, making it look like burning copper. With an effort, he turned his gaze away. He tried to appear natural as he strolled forward to the rail overlooking the open portion of the main deck. 'Just thoughts,' he said as casually as he could manage. 'How are you settling in?'

She didn't answer his question, just came forward as well to stand beside him. He could feel her proximity, even though she didn't touch him, like the heat of a nearby fire. While the urge welled up inside him, he knew he couldn't walk away again.

For a long moment she remained silent, looking down at the activity on the deck below. Then, 'You can't avoid me forever, you know,' she said softly, her voice hardly above a whisper. She gave him a half smile, whether ironic or sad, he couldn't tell. 'It's not that big a ship.'

'I've been busy-' he started.

'No,' she cut him off gently, 'you haven't.' She looked down at the main deck again. The silence stretched until Teldin felt he couldn't stand it, felt he'd have to say something to break the tension.

Then Julia spoke again. 'I think I understand you, at last,' she said, almost as though she were talking to herself. 'I didn't before, not really, but I think I do now. You understand why I left you on Bral?'

'You told me why, before we left Crescent.'

'Not straight out,' she corrected him, 'but I hinted at it. Do you really know why?' Without giving him time to answer, she went on, 'Because I had to make a decision, Teldin Moore. I had to decide whose life I was going to live: mine or yours. Was I going to… '-she chuckled wryly-'take the helm of my own life, or let you chart my course for me?' She raised a soft hand to his lips, to silence his objections. 'Oh, I know you wouldn't have meant to control my actions,' she continued. 'You might not even have known you were doing it. But you'd have done it just the same, just by being there.' She chuckled quietly. 'Even if you're not… whatever your first mate said, verentheslae… how could anyone be near the Cloakmaster without being swept up in his destiny?'

She sighed. 'And that's the decision I had to make,' she said slowly. 'Follow my destiny, or follow yours. I chose…' -she smiled again-'and look where I am now. Even my decision didn't change anything, did it?

'That's why I understand you, Teldin Moore,' she continued, her voice quiet but intense. 'You're struggling with the same thing, aren't you? Do you choose to live your own life, or choose to follow the course that someone else has charted for you? And if you choose your own course, what should that course be? That's it, isn't it?'

Teldin couldn't answer out loud. His throat felt so tight that he could hardly draw breath, let alone speak. He nodded-the slightest inclination of his head, but Julia saw it.

'And that's why you need me, Teldin,' she went on. Her voice was pitched barely above a whisper, but still the Cloakmaster had no trouble hearing it over the hubbub from the deck below. 'You need someone who understands you. And someone who cares.'

Teldin found himself unable to look her in the eyes. He could feel her gaze burning into him. 'When you left…' he murmured.

'I know I hurt you,' she conceded, 'probably more than you let yourself admit. I'm not asking for forgiveness, or for anything like that. All I ask is that you let me care.'

Again, the Cloakmaster couldn't answer. There wasn't anything to say, anyway. He reached out, took Julia's soft hand, and squeezed hard, almost fiercely, and felt her return the pressure. Then both let their hands drop back to the rail. He felt a sense of release, deep in his chest-the sense that tension, so long-lived that he'd grown totally unaware of it, had now been relieved.

'I'm glad you're back,' Julia said quietly.

Teldin raised an eyebrow. 'It wasn't me who went anywhere,' he reminded her.

'Maybe not physically,' Julia replied, and left it at that.

For a few more minutes they stayed across the rail. The crew seemed to be coming together, coalescing from a mob of disparate individuals into a team that could work smoothly as a unit.

Except for one. Beth-Abz, the big man who'd come aboard with Julia, was among the other crewmen on the main deck, but he didn't seem to be one of them. Even working shoulder to shoulder with the others, he seemed somehow apart. It wasn't solely that the crew seemed to give him a wide berth-though that was part of it-but his manner, and the way he moved.

Was that the truth, or were Teldin's two strange experiences with the big man-the conviction of danger, and the image of a tooth-filled maw-warping his perceptions? No, he decided after a moment, Beth-Abz was different.

But how? And what did those two experiences mean? Were they flashes of insight from the cloak? Or were they twinges of paranoia, with no basis in fact? Either way, he decided it was about time to find out…

Julia seemed to pick up on his thoughts. 'Beth-Abz,' she said slowly. 'Maybe I shouldn't have brought him aboard.'

Now that she'd opened the subject, Teldin could ask Julia the questions he'd wanted to since he'd first seen her in the Compact alley. 'Who is he?' he queried. 'Where did you meet him?'

The copper-haired woman shrugged. 'I met him on the docks,' she answered. 'We'd both just come into port-our ships landed at almost the same time-and we'd both decided to look for berths on other vessels. We got to talking.' She paused. 'He's an interesting man, Teldin… if you can get him to talk. He's traveled a lot-visited places I've never even heard of. And he's got a unique way of looking at the world.'

'So you thought you'd sign on with the same ship?'

'Why not?' she asked simply. 'He was the only interesting person I'd met since Bral, and we both wanted passage off Crescent. Remember, this was before I heard that 'Aldyn Brewer' was hiring a crew. When I heard that, I… well, I decided to look into it, and suggested Beth-Abz tag along.'

Teldin was silent for a moment. 'This Beth-Abz,' he started, 'he didn't have any particular interest in sailing with 'Aldyn Brewer,' did he?'

She shot him a sharp look. 'That's paranoid,' she told him flatly.

It was his turn to shrug. 'Paranoia's the price I have to pay for staying alive.' Then his lips quirked up into a wry smile. 'And that sounds even more paranoid, doesn't it?'

She returned his smile. 'We'll have plenty of time to talk through your neuroses later,' she chuckled. 'But, no, he didn't know whose ship we were going to approach, and he didn't care. He just wanted to get back into space.'