“I’m more tired than anything. Can you just take me back to Rush’s?” I asked
“Of course,” he replied with a smile. Woods was really easy to deal with. I liked that. I wasn’t in the mood for difficult.
“Have you talked to Rush yet?” he asked.
That wasn’t a question I wanted to answer. So much for not being difficult. I just shook my head. He didn’t need an explanation and if he did too bad because I didn’t have one. I’d broken down and called Rush two nights ago and it had gone directly to voice mail. I’d left him a message but he hadn’t called back. I was beginning to wonder if he was hoping I’d just be gone when he returned. How long was I supposed to stay at his house?
“He isn’t dealing with this well, I imagine. He’ll call you soon,” Woods said. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he didn’t even believe what he was saying. It was just to make me feel better. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep so he wouldn’t say anymore. I didn’t want to talk about this. I didn’t want to talk about anything.
Woods turned the radio on and we drove in silence the rest of the way back to Rosemary. When the car came to a stop I opened my eyes to see Rush’s house in front of me. I was back.
“Thank you,” I said, looking over at Woods. His expression was serious. I could tell he was thinking about something that he didn’t want to share with me. I didn’t need to ask to know what it was. He thought I should leave too. Rush wasn’t going to call and there was a chance he might not come back. I couldn’t just live in his house.
“Call me if you need anything,” Woods said meeting my gaze.
I nodded but I’d already made up my mind I wasn’t going to call him anymore. Even if Rush didn’t care what I did it just didn’t feel right. I opened the car door and stepped out. With a final wave I headed to the front door and back into the empty house.
Rush
Seven days and Nan still hadn’t opened her eyes. My mother was stopping by less and less. Grant was starting to be the only visitor that stayed around and showed up regularly. Abe stopped by once a day for only a few minutes at a time. It was Nan and me against the world once again.
“You need to call her,” Grant said, breaking the silence. I knew who he was talking about. Blaire was constantly on my mind. I felt guilty as I sat here staring at my sister and all I could think about was Blaire.
“I can’t,” I replied, unable to look at him. He’d see that I’d given up hope if I did.
“This isn’t fair to her. Woods said she isn’t coming around and she hasn’t called him in three days. He keeps a check on things through Bethy but even Bethy isn’t sure Blaire is going to stay much longer. You just need to call her.”
Leaving me would be the best thing she ever did. How could I be what she deserved if I was torn between my sister and her all the time? I couldn’t keep Nan safe. How could she trust me to keep her and our baby safe?
“She deserves better,” I managed to say it aloud. Instead of just chanting it in my head.
“Yeah, she probably does. But she wants you.”
God, that hurt. I wanted her too. I wanted our baby. I wanted that life I let myself pretend we could have. How could I give that to her if my sister never woke up? I’d be riddled with guilt and pain. I wouldn’t be the man she deserved. This would eventually eat at me until I was worthless to anyone.
“I can’t,” was all I managed to say.
Grant swore and stood up, slinging his jacket on the floor before he walked out of the room slamming the door behind him. He didn’t understand. No one did. I just stared at the wall across from me. I was starting to go numb. I was losing everything I’d ever let myself love.
The door opened and I looked over expecting to see Grant. Instead it was Abe. I wasn’t in the mood to see him. He’d deserted the two people I loved most in the world at some point in their lives.
“Why the fuck do you even come here? You don’t give a shit,” I snarled.
Abe didn’t respond. He walked over to the chair that Grant had just vacated and sat down. He never sat down and stayed for any length of time. The fact he was going to right now didn’t sit well with me. I needed to be alone.
“I do give a shit. Your mother doesn’t know I’m here. She wouldn’t approve of what I’m about to tell you. But I think you deserve to know.”
There was nothing that man had to say that I wanted to hear but I remained silent and waited. The quicker he said what he wanted the sooner he’d be gone.
“Nanette isn’t my daughter. Your mother has always known that. She wanted Nan to be mine but we both knew when she got pregnant that it was impossible. We’d been broken up for over eight months when she called me. She had just found out she was pregnant and she was scared. She was still in love with your dad which was why we broke up to begin with. I couldn’t live up to the legend that was Dean Finlay. I wanted to be enough for someone. I never would be for Georgianna. But I loved her and she was worried about how she was going to manage another child. I was young and stupid so I went back to her and we talked about marriage. I told her I’d have to think about it.” He stopped and looked over at me. I was still reeling from the fact that he wasn’t Nan’s father.
“Once I got there Georgie was leaving you with Dean whenever she could and still going out with friends as if she wasn’t pregnant. She wouldn’t tell me who the dad was. I had just about met my limit when Rebecca came to visit.” His eyes went soft and he briefly closed them. I’d never seen the man show that much emotion.
“She was gorgeous. Long blond hair that looked like it was spun by angels. The biggest green eyes I’d ever seen and so damn sweet. She loved you. She didn’t like your mother taking you to Dean. She worried you weren’t safe with a bunch of rock stars. She kept you when your mother went out. She made you these pancakes with Mickey Mouse ears that you loved. I was drawn to her and I couldn’t leave. Your mother used us both for awhile. Rebecca wouldn’t leave because she worried about you. And I wouldn’t leave because I’d fallen in love with Becca.” This was not the story my mother had told me. This wasn’t the story I’d been led to believe all these years but now that I’d met Blaire… that I knew her… this made a hell of a lot more sense.
“Your mom came home drunk one night. She wasn’t far along in her pregnancy and she announced that Dean was the daddy of this baby too. I was furious that she’d been drinking and even more furious that your father had done this yet again with no intention of doing right by Georgie. So I called him and told him I wanted to talk to him. The talk didn’t go well. He said that the baby wasn’t his. If it was his he’d gladly claim it but it wasn’t. She’d been
