Commitment Hour

TEN An Assembly for Father Ash and Mother Dust

'My mother is a Neut?' The words choked out of me.

'Your mother was a woman,' Zephram answered. 'A troubled woman with a desperately caring heart. Not that anyone realized how vulnerable she was, except me and Leeta. Steck was too independent for Tober Cove to understand her. There was a reason she was living alone in one of those log cabins that are supposed to be for couples. I've always hoped she had an easier time down south.'

Zephram hadn't heard Steck spilling out resentment beside Leeta's campfire: 'Driven down-peninsula to cities we don't understand, where we're despised as freaks. Shunned by friends, separated from my lover and child…' No, Steck hadn't had an easier time. Being a Neut and being so chip-on-the-shoulder 'independent' had killed all chance of a welcome from strangers.

'And when Steck left,' I said, 'she didn't take me with her?'

'She tried,' Zephram answered, 'but there was a mob on her heels. They ripped you out of her arms, then drove her off. The Warriors Society harried her through the forest and mounted a guard to make sure she didn't come back. She tried once anyway and got speared in the stomach; the Warriors wouldn't say whether she was dead or not, which means she got away. If they'd actually killed her, they would have paraded her head through town. But that was the last anyone saw of Steck.'

'You never tried to find her?'

Zephram shook his head. 'I had to take care of you. It was Hakoore's ruling — yes, I'd be allowed to stay and yes, I could adopt you, but only if I swore never to remove you from the cove. You're a Tober, Fullin, and a child of Master Crow; Hakoore refused to expose your god-given blood to the 'materialistic contamination' of the South. The vicious old bastard made me choose between you and Steck… and I knew what Steck would want. Her own parents were dead. If I didn't take you, you'd go straight into the hands of the people who exiled her.'

'And no one ever told me the truth.'

'People thought it would be kinder not to. They were eager to be nice to you after the hysteria died down — after the evil Neut was gone and they began to think about what shits they had been. They twisted themselves double pampering you, so I'd tell them that what they'd done wasn't so bad.' Zephram sighed. 'I'm not a man who can hold a grudge, Fullin. Heaven knows I tried, for Steck's sake; but I couldn't stay angry with them, not as long as I should have. I let myself go along with the lie.'

He closed his eyes tight, fighting with something inside him. Guilt? Anger? In a moment he pushed the feeling down and spoke rapidly. 'So. Steck was gone and the whole town decided to tell you your mother was a paragon of virtue — accidentally drowned and nothing more.'

A question popped into my head: 'Does Cappie know about this?' It surprised me that I could care what she thought, but I did.

'She shouldn't know,' Zephram answered. 'All the children were supposed to be told the same story — otherwise, they might spill the truth to you. It's possible her parents told her when she was old enough to keep a secret… but why would they? The town just wanted to forget.'

He pushed his chair away from the table, though he'd hardly touched his breakfast. Taking his plate, he began to stash the uneaten food in the ice chest. 'I suppose,' he said without looking at me, 'Leeta decided to mention Steck to you because it's Commitment Day. She's always regretted that she couldn't protect her apprentice. Leeta brought up Steck's name, but didn't tell you the truth?'

'No.'

'She must have lost her nerve — wanted to tell you the whole story before you Committed, then couldn't do it. That was always Leeta's problem: she thinks a Mocking Priestess should be defiance personified, but it just isn't in her.' His voice was less accusing than his words; Zephram wanted to be outrage personified, but that wasn't in him.

'Maybe after you've Committed,' he said, 'we'll go south together to see if we can find her. Steck was a good woman, Fullin, she really was. The rest of the town were intimidated by her — even before she Committed — but Steck was a good gentle woman.'

A good gentle woman who had tried to kill Cappie and me with a machete. Of course, before she attacked, she'd asked if either of us was named Fullin… and what would have happened if I'd answered truthfully? Would she have fallen on my neck with slobbery Neut kisses? Oh my baby, I've come backto see your Commitment!

That had to be her reason for coming to the cove on Commitment Eve. She'd kept track of the years; she knew this was my time. I could imagine she had spent every second of her exile plotting how to return for this day. Attaching herself to a Spark Lord for protection. Persuading him to come to the cove to observe the Commitment ceremonies. Did Rashid even know why Steck had brought him here? Or had she manipulated him to the point that Rashid thought this was his own idea?

Suddenly, I felt an irresistible need to pick up Waggett and hold him close. My son. When I took him in my arms, he snuggled against my chest out of reflex, not needing me, just making himself comfortable because comfort was his due. Only a few minutes before I had resolved not to get carried away with cuddling, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted to protect him. I don't know if I wanted to protect him from Steck, returned to the cove like the corpse of a murder victim seeking revenge… or if I wanted to save him from what happened twenty years ago, when a child was ripped from its mother and both became lost.

Trying not to hug him too fiercely, I nuzzled Waggett's sweet-smelling hair. He ignored me, as if his life would always be so full of kisses, there was no need to acknowledge every one.

The Council Hall bells rang. Both Zephram and I looked toward the clock hanging above the fireplace: a silver-embossed treasure with black metal hands shaped into crow feathers. Zephram had commissioned the piece from a clockmaker down south, in honor of Master Crow. Hakoore pouted for a while when the clock arrived, saying it verged on blasphemy… but even Hakoore realized he was being childish.

The hour was only seven o'clock, far too early for the usual Commitment Day festivities. Still, the bells kept ringing — calmly, not the fast clang- clang-clang used to warn of danger — so we had to conclude that the mayor was calling an impromptu town meeting.

'What's going on?' Zephram asked. He didn't expect an answer, so I didn't invent one. The mayor's summons could only be something to do with Steck and Lord Rashid; why else would Teggeree disrupt the usual Commitment Day schedule?

'You'd better go down to the hall and see what's happening,' I said to Zephram. 'I'll finish up here.'

He looked at me in surprise. 'What needs finishing up?'

'Cleaning… you know.' I waved my hand vaguely.

'You've never volunteered to clean anything in your life,' he said. 'Not unless you were trying to get out of something worse. Do you know something about this meeting?'

'No.'

'And you aren't curious?'

'Sure I am.' I tried to think of anything I could say that wouldn't sound suspect. Truth is, Dad, my Neutmother is in town and I don't want to meet her. 'It's just that…'

My voice trailed off.

Zephram rolled his eyes. 'It's just that you want the house to yourself so you can search for the Commitment Day presents I bought you. Isn't that right?'

I immediately put on a sheepish look, as if Zephram had hit the nail on the head. He laughed and gave me a playful swat. 'You don't find out till noon, boy. Now let's go see what's up.'

Acknowledging defeat, I moved toward the door while hefting Waggett into a better carrying position… then I stopped. If I walked into the town square carrying the boy, Steck would see him. Steck had to know I had a child — all Tobers do by the time they reach Commitment Day. Did I want a Neut touching my boy? Could Steck have some demented plan to kidnap 'her grandson'? Who knew what crazy ideas went through a Neut's head?

'Here,' I told Zephram, 'why don't you carry Waggett for a while?'

'That sounds more like you,' he said. With a smile, Zephram took Waggett from me. The boy gave him a small hug — more recognition than I'd gotten. With a twitch of jealousy, I almost asked Zephram to give my child back… but it was better for Waggett if Steck didn't know he was mine.

Half the town got to the meeting before Zephram and me: mostly men and children, the people who could pick up and go as soon as the bells rang. The women came in their own time, after pulling pies out of the oven or running the iron over a few more pleats. Several older ladies never showed up, either because they were still working on last-minute details or because they thought they were — Tober Cove had its share of people who made themselves busy, busy, busy, no matter how little they had to do.

The interior of the Council Hall was big enough to hold the adult population of the village, but in good weather, meetings were held outside so that people weren't cramped together. Speakers stood up on the steps where they could be seen; the rest of the crowd filled the square, leaning against the hitching rails or sitting on the grass in the shade of what we called Little Oak. The tree had received its name almost two hundred years ago, back when there was a Big Oak too. Big Oak dropped in its time, getting sectioned into tabletops for half the homes of the village, and now Little Oak had a trunk so thick two men couldn't join their hands around it… but it was still called Little Oak and would keep that name until the centuries pulled it down.

That tells you something about Tober Cove.

Steck and Rashid weren't in sight. Mayor Teggeree stood at the top of the steps, smiling cheerfully at the crowd as he waited for latecomers to straggle in. Hakoore hunched beside him, glowering at the world, and Leeta leaned against the banister two steps lower down the stairs.

Since Cappie wasn't with the priestess, I looked around the square until I spotted her in a huddle with her family. They had oh-so-casually arranged themselves in a protective circle around her, and although I could only see the top of her head, I knew she must have dressed in male clothing again. Otherwise, her sisters and brothers wouldn't make such an effort to shield her from the village's eyes.