the human mind keep up with that ten-mile-long lump of solidified reason that men called Multivac, the most complex computer ever built?
Meyerhof said, 'I am working. Is there something important on your mind?'
'Nothing that can't be postponed. There are a few holes in the answer on the hyperspatial-' Whistler did a double take and his face took on a rueful look of uncertainty. 'Working?'
'Yes. What about it?'
'But-' He looked about, staring into the crannies of the shallow room that faced the banks upon banks of relays that formed a small portion of Multivac. 'There isn't anyone here at that.'
'Who said there was, or should be?'
'You were telling one of your jokes, weren't you?'
'And?'
Whistler forced a smile. 'Don't tell me you were telling a joke to Multivac?'
Meyerhof stiffened. 'Why not?'
'Were you?'
'Yes.'
'Why?'
Meyerhof stared the other down. 'I don't have to account to you. Or to anyone.'
'Good Lord, of course not. I was curious, that's all. ... But then, if you're working, I'll leave.' He looked about once more, frowning.
'Do so,' said Meyerhof. His eyes followed the other out and then he activated the operations signal with a savage punch of his finger.
He strode the length of the room and back, getting himself in hand. Damn Whistler! Damn them all! Because he didn't bother to hold those technicians, analysts and mechanics at the proper social distance, because he treated them as though they, too, were creative artists, they took these liberties.
He thought grimly: They can't even tell jokes decently.
And instantly that brought him back to the task in hand. He sat down again. Devil take them all.
He threw the proper Multivac circuit back into operation and said, 'The ship's steward stopped at the rail of the ship during a particularly rough ocean crossing and gazed compassionately at the man whose slumped position over the rail and whose intensity of gaze toward the depths betokened all too well the ravages of seasickness.
'Gentry, the steward patted the man's shoulder. 'Cheer up, sir,' he murmured. 'I know it seems bad, but really, you know, nobody ever dies of seasickness.'
'The afflicted gentleman lifted his greenish, tortured face to his comforter and gasped in hoarse accents, 'Don't say that, man. For Heaven's sake, don't say that. It's only the hope of dying that's keeping me alive.' '
Timothy Whistler, a bit preoccupied, nevertheless smiled and nodded as he passed the secretary's desk. She smiled back at him.
Here, he thought, was an archaic item in this computer-ridden world of the twenty-first century, a human secretary. But then perhaps it was natural that such an institution should survive here in the very citadel of computerdom; in the gigantic world corporation that handled Multivac. With Multivac filling the horizons, lesser computers for trivial tasks would have been in poor taste.
Whistler stepped into Abram Trask's office. That government official paused in his careful task of lighting a pipe; his dark eyes flicked in Whistler's direction and his beaked nose stood out sharply and prominently against the rectangle of window behind him.
'Ah, there, Whistler. Sit down. Sit down.'
Whistler did so. 'I think we've got a problem, Trask.'
Trask half-smiled. 'Not a technical one, I hope. I'm just an innocent politician.' (It was one of his favorite phrases.)
'It involves Meyerhof.'
Trask sat down instantly and looked acutely miserable. 'Are you sure?' T 'Reasonably sure.'
Whistler understood the other's sudden unhappiness well. Trask was the government official in charge of the Division of Computers and Automation of the Department of the Interior. He was expected to deal with matters of policy involving the human satellites of Multivac, just as those technically trained satellites were expected to deal with Multivac itself.
But a Grand Master was more than just a satellite. More, even, than just a human.
Early in the history of Multivac, it had become apparent that the bottleneck was the questioning procedure. Multivac could answer the problem of humanity, all the problems, if-if it were asked meaningful questions. But as knowledge accumulated at an ever-faster rate, it became ever more difficult to locate those meaningful questions.
Reason alone wouldn't do. What was needed was a rare type of intuition; the same faculty of mind (only much more intensified) that made a grand master at chess. A mind was needed of the sort that could see through the quadrillions of chess patterns to find the one best move, and do it in a matter of minutes.
Trask moved restlessly. 'What's Meyerhof been doing?'
'He's introduced a line of questioning that I find disturbing.'
'Oh, come on, Whistler. Is that all? You can't stop a Grand Master from going through any line of questioning he chooses. Neither you nor I are equipped to judge the worth of his questions. You know that. I know you know that.'
'I do. Of course. But I also know Meyerhof. Have you ever met him socially?'
'Good Lord, no. Does anyone meet any Grand Master socially?'
'Don't take that attitude, Trask. They're human and they're to be pitied. Have you ever thought what it must be like to be a Grand Master; to know there are only some twelve like you in the world; to know that only one or two come up per generation; that the world depends on you; that a thousand mathematicians, logicians, psychologists and physical scientists wait on you?'
Trask shrugged and muttered, 'Good Lord, I'd feel king of the world.'
'I don't think you would,' said the senior analyst impatiently. 'They feel kings of nothing. They have no equal to talk to, no sensation of belonging. Listen, Meyerhof never misses a chance to get together with the boys. He isn't married, naturally; he doesn't drink; he has no natural social touch-yet he forces himself into company because he must. And do you know what he does when he gets together with us, and that's at least once a week?'
'I haven't the least idea,' said the government man. 'This is all new to me.'
'He's a jokester.'
'What?'
'He tells jokes. Good ones. He's terrific. He can take any story, however old and dull, and make it sound good. It's the way he tells it. He has a flair.'
'I see. Well, good.'
'Or bad. These jokes are important to him.' Whistler put both elbows on Trask's desk, bit at a thumbnail and stared into the air. 'He's different, he knows he's different and these jokes are the one way he feels he can get the rest of us ordinary schmoes to accept him. We laugh, we howl, we clap him on the back and even forget he's a Grand Master. It's the only hold he has on the rest of us.'
'This is all interesting. I didn't know you were such a psychologist. Still, where does this lead?'
'Just this. What do you suppose happens if Meyerhof runs out of jokes?'
'What?' The government man stared blankly.
'If he starts repeating himself? If his audience starts laughing less heartily, or stops laughing altogether? It's his only hold on our approval. Without it, he'll be alone and then what would happen to him? After all, Trask, he's one of the dozen men mankind can't do without. We can't let anything happen to him. I don't mean just physical things. We can't even let him get too unhappy. Who knows how that might affect his intuition?'
'Well, has he started repeating himself?'
'Not as far as I know, but I think he thinks he has.'
'Why do you say that?'
'Because I've heard him telling jokes to Multivac.'
'Oh, no.'
'Accidentally! I walked in on him and he threw me out. He was savage. He's usually good-natured enough, and I consider it a bad sign that he was so upset at the intrusion. But the fact remains that he was telling a joke to Multivac, and I'm convinced it was one of a series.'
'But why?'
Whistler shrugged and rubbed a hand fiercely across his chin. 'I have a thought about that. I think he's trying to build up a store of jokes in Mul-tivac's memory banks in order to get back new variations. You see what I mean? He's planning a mechanical jokester, so that he can have an infinite number of jokes at hand and never fear running out.'
'Good Lord!'
'Objectively, there may be nothing wrong with that, but I consider it a bad sign when a Grand Master starts using Multivac for his personal problems. Any Grand Master has a certain inherent mental instability and he should be watched. Meyerhof may be approaching a borderline beyond which we lose a Grand Master.'
Trask said blankly, 'What are you suggesting I do?'
'You can check me. I'm too close to him to judge well, maybe, and judging humans isn't my particular talent, anyway. You're a politician; it's more your talent.'
'Judging humans, perhaps, not Grand Masters.'
'They're human, too. Besides, who else is to do it?'
The fingers of Trask's hand struck his desk in rapid succession over and over like a slow and muted roll of drums.
'I suppose I'll have to,' he said.
Meyerhof said to Multivac, 'The ardent swain, picking a bouquet of wildflowers for his loved one, was disconcerted to find himself, suddenly, in the same field with a large bull of unfriendly appearance which, gazing at him steadily, pawed the ground in a threatening manner. The young man, spying a farmer on the other side of a fairly distant fence, shouted, 'Hey, mister, is that bull safe?' The farmer surveyed the situation with critical eye, spat to one side and called back, 'He's safe as
