The leather settee and chairs set around a large fireplace in the lounge were warm and squashy, with a scattering of oversize cushions. The whole place was stamped with Maddy’s friendly and open personality, though with a discreet dash of elegance.
Encouraged by the fact that Steve had not changed the locks or thrown out her things, Maddy made her way to the bedroom and went straight to his wardrobe. Throwing open the doors, she stood a moment observing the expensive tailored suits hanging there. She roved her hands over them. “Are you really as bad as Alice says?” she murmured. “Would you really turn your back on your own flesh and blood?” She persuaded herself that somehow, she would make him love the child she carried inside her.
For herself, she laid out fresh lingerie, along with a smart cream-colored shirt with stand-up collar; then a short brown skirt and matching fitted jacket. Next she fished out her silk stockings and high-heeled cream-colored shoes. Although the skirt was rather tight, since her tummy was acquiring a rounded shape, she looked very fresh and pretty in the outfit.
Almost ready, she sat at the dressing table and skillfully applied foundation to her face, hiding the scratches. Eye-shadow and mascara followed, then a touch of coffee-colored lipstick and a generous spray of lightly scented perfume.
She gave her hair a final brushing, then checked herself in the full-length mirror. “Right, my girl!” The merest smile lit her face. “You’re about as ready as you’ll ever be.”
For the first time today, she felt good. It was off to the shops now, to find the ultimate glamorous outfit, with maybe an extra-long split to show off her legs and avert people’s eyes from her midriff. Or a low top to show off the bits of herself that he hadn’t marked. The smile fell from her face as she recalled his vicious attack on her. How could she risk her safety, and that of their child, with such an unpredictable man? When he fell into one of his rages, Steve Drayton became a monster.
Being Saturday, the Underground was busier than usual, the pavements heavy with people, and the Oxford Street shops full to bursting. At every pedestrian crossing, there was a long wait before the road was clear.
“I hate coming into London on a Saturday,” said a gray-haired woman, who was almost lifted off her feet when a gaggle of girls came rushing past. “I can’t stand all this pushing and shoving!”
Taking the pensioner by the arm, Maddy helped her across the road, to receive the loveliest smile for her trouble. “I’m glad not all young people are loud and selfish,” the woman said, ambling away with a tut and a grumble.
Maddy headed straight for Liberty’s on Regent Street. They had such fabulous evening wear there, suitable for showbiz.
“I want to open Steve’s eyes and make him see what he might be losing,” she told herself. “No more pink ladies. I’m going to get a fiery red dress! Yes, that’s it – I’ll go for red and be a scarlet woman instead.”
The saleslady looked at Maddy, at her voluminous golden-brown hair and her striking dark eyes, and said, “Oh no, my dear! Not red. With your coloring, you should wear the palest ivory.”
Maddy was amazed. “I’ve never even considered wearing ivory,” she confessed. “I’ve always thought that it would make me look washed out.”
The woman persuaded her to give it a try.
The first dress she put on was nipped in at the waist and full-skirted. “No, it’s definitely not me.” Maddy was unhappy with the style, but amazed by how flattering the color was.
The second one was straight-skirted and fitting, but the neck was high and the sleeves too full.
The third was stunning – low-cut at the top, but with straps instead of sleeves. “Good heavens, what on earth did you do to your arms?” The woman was shocked by the bruises.
Maddy stammered an excuse, and returned to the cubicle where, both disappointed and embarrassed, she began quickly dressing to cover up the bruises where Steve had gripped her last night.
She was reaching for her blouse when there came a knock on the cubicle door. “My dear, I’ve found a dress I think you really should try.” The door inched open and an arm reached through, over which hung the loveliest-looking gown. “You looked wonderful in the ivory,” the saleslady explained, “so I went away and searched through another batch of stock that’s just arrived from Italy. This one is absolutely right for you… trust me.”
Suspecting the woman was trying hard to make a sale, Maddy agreed to try it anyway.
Five minutes later, she emerged from the cubicle, looking a million dollars.
“Oh my dear!” The woman’s mouth fell open. “I knew it was the one for you!”
The ivory-colored dress was plain and elegant; with long, slim sleeves, small silk-covered buttons at the cuffs, it hung exquisitely. In fact, it could have been made for her.
“It simply flows over you!” The attendant was delighted. “And the ivory… so beautiful.”
Maddy was pleased to note the discreet split in the skirt, running down the left side from thigh to hem, which opened only when she stepped one leg forward. The punters at the Pink Lady adored it when she wore something a little bit sexy but still ladylike.
Wondering what Steve might say, she looked at herself in the long mirror. Against the ivory, her eyes and hair seemed richer, deeper in color, and more importantly, the long slim sleeves hid the marks he had made on her arms.
And so she bought it, though it was more than she could easily afford. Steve liked her to have decent stage outfits, but the money he gave her for them was on the mean side. But this was a special dress. A dress on which her whole future depended. Thanking the woman, she left with her precious cargo, and went home to Alice’s flat.
She could hardly wait for the evening, when she would walk out on that Soho stage with her head held high.
Seeing her in that dress must surely melt her lover’s heart? Even a hard man like Steve could not turn away the woman who loved him; the singer who brought in the bulk of his money. And the fact that she was carrying his child must surely mean the world to him. Shouldn’t it?
She was both nervous and excited. Was she taking a chance too far? Was Alice right… would he still reject her, and his child?
There was only one way to find out.
Five
In the evening, dressed in her new finery, Maddy took a taxi to the club. She was desperately nervous about Steve’s reaction, but was hoping that tonight she could make him see sense.
She felt ashamed and worried at having broken her promise to Alice, even if it
Her heart beating fifteen to the dozen, she carefully inched open the door and peeped inside. As usual, the club was busy, with Jack and the others rushing about behind the bar. It was difficult to see clearly across the room because of Raymond’s sizeable frame as he meandered about, clearing tables and shyly answering the occasional remark from a client. She smiled. No wonder they all love him, she thought. He’s a real gentleman.
In that moment when Raymond stooped to collect something from the floor, she saw Dino and Dave sitting having a quiet drink at the side of the stage. Steve was standing at the far end of the bar, leaning forward, glass in hand, the usual Dunhill cigarette drooping from his lips.
At the sight of him, her heart leaped, and all kinds of bittersweet memories flashed through her mind: of the wonderful times they had shared – the many occasions when she was made to feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, and other times when he was so tender and loving, she thought it would never end. But then there was his explosive jealousy, the inquisitions, and the recent beatings she had suffered at his hands, with Alice’s premonition of worse to come. Steve was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and Maddy wondered if she could really face a future with this constant battle on her hands.
For a moment, she was deeply troubled; unsure of whether she should go inside, or turn about and never come back. It was a strange, unnerving sensation.
Needing to think clearly, she closed the door and stood on the pavement, her back against the wall and her thoughts in turmoil. She felt incredibly sad, and lost – and for a moment, all the belief she had in him and their life together seemed to ebb away.
“Pull yourself together, my girl,” she reprimanded herself sternly. “You can’t turn back now – not when you’ve come this far.”
As always, the pull of her feelings for Steve proved to be stronger than her fears, and as she swung round to enter the building, a mischievous smile lit her eyes. “I’ll sneak in the back way,” she murmured, “have a quick check of my makeup, and then I’ll let him know I’m here.” The idea of taking him by surprise was thrilling.
Hurrying down the alleyway, she hoped the back door was not locked.
Good. The door pushed open at the touch of her hand. Excited and hopeful, she slipped into the building and made her way through the corridors which led directly to her dressing room.
As she neared it, she heard a door slam, and then footsteps hurrying away. Not wanting to be seen, she pressed herself into the doorway of the storeroom, emerging only when the footsteps had died away.
With the coast clear, she hurried on, agitating over who those footsteps might have belonged to. She knew it wasn’t Alice, because that dear woman’s light steps were as familiar to her as her own. She was equally certain it wasn’t the man who looked after the stage-lighting because he had a distinctive limp. Nor could they have belonged to Raymond, whose lumbering tread rocked the building. And as far as she was aware, the barmen hardly ever came back here.
Of course, it could have been someone looking for the loos and taking a wrong turn. Yes, that must be it! Someone had taken a wrong turn and got lost.
Nonetheless, for some strange reason, Maddy was filled with a sense of foreboding.
“You’re beginning to imagine things,” she told herself, and gave a harsh little laugh. “It’s Alice’s fault, for putting the fear of God into you.”
Having reached the dressing room, she went quickly inside, instantly taken aback by the odor of a heady perfume, quite different from her own. “Raymond’s been at it with a new cleaning wax, she thought. He’s always trying some new product or another.
She glanced about. There were no signs of the struggle from last night, she observed wryly. All had been neatly swept aside… like herself!
Going straightway to the new mirror that had been secured to the wall, she stared at herself, feeling like a kid on her first date.
He won’t be able to resist me, she beamed. Then, reaching for her lipliner, she was amazed to see that her own hairbrush and cosmetics were gone, and in their
