“Has that eased your mind a little?” Ellen knew better than anyone how Maddy had been punishing herself for “deserting” Alice.
“Yes, I think so.” Maddy had been both saddened and uplifted by what Raymond had written. “I will never be able to thank Raymond enough,” she said, “but I won’t rest easy until I go to where she is, and tell her what’s in my heart.”
Ellen understood, and her guilt was tenfold.
Shifting her attention onto the large envelope as yet unopened, Maddy carefully tore it open, and as she tipped it upside down, an amazing array of photographs and folded posters tumbled onto the table. “Oh, my God!” Clasping her two hands over her mouth, Maddy was laughing and tearful all at the same time.
She couldn’t believe what she was looking at – photographs of herself in full evening wear, singing into the mike onstage. Some were of her performing with a visiting artiste, both of them smartly dressed in Fred Astaire top hat and tails, and brandishing a walking cane. And there were others, of her and Alice laughing at the camera, and fooling around in the club, and another one of her seated at the piano, next to a renowned jazz pianist. And oh, so many more, some she had completely forgotten about.
“Ellen – look what Raymond has sent me,” she cried. “They’re all the photos and posters from the Pink Lady!” She was thrilled. “I never imagined they’d taken this many photographs… ooh, they bring back so many memories. And look!” She pointed to a particularly beautiful one of herself. “Some of them have never even seen daylight. Oh, Ellen!”
These things were such a powerful part of her life. “All my dreams and ambitions are written here,” she said now. “And this is what it’s amounted to – a collection of paper images.”
One minute she was laughing and excited, and the next, a great tidal wave of pain and rage swept through her as she swiped them all from the table. “They don’t mean anything any more!” Running from the room, she fled up the stairs, crashed into her bedroom, and flung herself on the bed, where she sobbed helplessly.
Ellen found Maddy lying across the bed, face down and breaking her heart. “I’ve made such a mess of my life,” she wept. “I’ve lost everyone I love, apart from you, Ellen – and I miss Alice so very much. She should be here,” she kept saying. “Poor Alice should be here.”
Sitting down beside her, Ellen gathered her into her arms. “It’s good if you cry,” she said earnestly. “Seeing those pictures of yourself and Alice, and of the life you shared… well, it’s hurtful. You need to let it out, Maddy.”
Not for the first time, Ellen wondered about her decision regarding Alice. But it was done now and could not be undone.
They sat for a while until Maddy – still shaken by the photographs and the memories they evoked – silently vowed to stay strong for Ellen’s sake. “I’m all right now,” she sighed, getting off the bed. “I’m sorry for that performance. I’ll go down and clear the photos away.”
Ellen followed her downstairs, and the two of them collected the discarded memories. “I’ll put them away and keep them safe,” Maddy decided. “Alice would want me to.”
The evening was spent quietly, with Ellen stitching new buttons onto her best jacket, and Maddy curled up on the sofa, reading a library book and enjoying the series of LPs playing in the background. Grandad Bob made background music of his own, when his whooshing, rhythmic snoring rippled through the room.
When the snoring grew louder, Maddy and Ellen would giggle, and Grandad would shift and grumble, and then snore all the louder.
All in all, it was a cozy scene.
Twelve
Ready at last to leave the hospital, Alice had been looking forward to this day for weeks. “All packed, are you?” Nurse Jackie was a trim, pretty young thing with a heart of gold.
Alice thanked her for everything. “I’ve already seen Sister and the other day nurse,” she said in her soft Irish lilt. “And I’ve left a note for the night staff.” Pointing to the white envelope on the bedside cabinet, she said, “Oh, and there are two boxes of chocolates in the cupboard. They’re good ones – I know that for sure, because Raymond chose them, and he likes to show off, so he does. Anyway, there’s one for you nurses and one for Connie, the cleaner.”
“Well, thank you, Alice.” The nurse was appreciative. “That’s a lovely gesture.”
“Ah well, I’m really grateful to all of you. But I’m
“I’m sure you are. Even so, you must remember to follow the doctor’s instructions. Rest easy and try not to walk about too much. You’ve still got that weakness in your chest wall, which will take a while to heal completely, so keep away from anyone with a cold. You don’t want to be coughing and putting your muscles under any strain. Keep the corset on as instructed, and make sure you take the prescribed medication.”
Alice made a face. “All right, all right. I get the message. I’m an old crock who can’t do anything for herself.”
Nurse Jackie chuckled at that. “Oh, I don’t think that’s what you are,” she teased. “I’d say you were more like an impatient woman who hates people fussing round you. Isn’t that so?”
Alice laughed until her chest hurt, when she took a deep, invigorating breath. “You could be right.” Very carefully, she stretched her back, until she felt more comfortable. “I can’t deny it. I’m impatient, stubborn, fussy, bossy and aggravating.” She gave a mischievous wink. “But don’t tell anyone else, will you?”
The two of them were still chatting when Raymond arrived.
Guided by Alice’s gentle suggestions, he looked smart and presentable in gray trousers, a navy jacket and cream-colored shirt. His hair was newly cut and falling smartly about his ears, and as he approached them, his face was wreathed in a happy smile. Today, he was taking Alice home.
“My, but he’s a fine fella.” The nurse was first to see him enter the ward. “If I wasn’t already married, I could fancy him myself.”
“Ah, don’t give me that,” Alice protested. “Sure, haven’t I seen your husband – got the dreamy look of a film star, so he has.” She glanced at Raymond, big and bumbling, very slightly knock-kneed, and not one “film-star” feature on his lolloping square face.
Tongue in cheek, she asked the nurse, “I bet you wouldn’t swap your fella for mine, would you?” There was a twinkle in her eye. “I mean, why would you want to swap a rose for a cabbage, eh?”
The two of them chuckled at that.
In truth though, Alice had come to love Raymond as much as he had always loved her. It was not the kind of love where the world turns upside down at the touch of someone’s hand. Instead it was a warm and wonderful experience, and now, as he walked her gently through the ward, she felt that no one in the world could ever hurt her again.
Safe in the car and headed home, Alice asked him, “Have the police been to see you?”
“Not since last week, no.”
“So do you reckon they’ve given up on finding Maddy?”
“I hope so. But who knows?”
“So, what did you tell them? Did you remember what I said?”
“I just told them what I’d said before, time and again, that Maddy no longer worked for Drayton, and that she had
“And did they ask about Ellen?”
“Yes, and I explained that, as far as I could recall, Ellen had been feeling unwell after she came offstage, and so probably went straight home. I said there had been talk of her going on holiday for a week or so. I told them I knew nothing more than that.”
“Did you send the letter?”
Raymond nodded. “I did.”
“You didn’t change anything, did you?” she asked. “You copied it down exactly as I said?”
Raymond fell silent.
“Ray?” Alice gave him a tap. “I’m still waiting for an answer.”
Looking sheepish, he apologized. “I copied down everything you’d written, word for word,” he confirmed, “except I told them not to contact me or anyone else at the club; I said the police were still about, so Maddy and Ellen needed to keep their heads down.” He paused. “I hope I did right?”
Alice could tell he had more to say. “What else did you write?”
When the traffic lights changed, he quickly swung the wheel to the left. “I’m sorry, love. Don’t be cross. I just… kinda mentioned that we’d meet up again one day –
