‘So make sure you say nothing, right? Even when you’re working, I mean.’
‘I hear you, Rummy Cups. No worries in that regard-I can’t get a word in with all the marriage proposals.’
‘You too? Why’s they all so desperate, I wonder?’
‘Children,’ said Sunrise. ‘They want children and they want ’em quick.’
‘Why would they all want that?’ Sweetlard asked.
The only answer that came to Sunrise was a grim one, and he hesitated.
After a moment Rumjugs gusted out a loud sigh. ‘Errant’s balls. They’re all expectin’ to die.’
‘Not the best attitude,’ mused Sweetlard, as she pulled out a leaf stick and leaned in to the lantern slung close to her left shoulder. Once the end was smouldering, she drew it to a bright coal and then settled back. ‘Spirits below, I’m chafing.’
‘When did you last have a drink?’ Rumjugs asked her.
‘Weeks now. You?’
‘Same. Funny how things kind of clear up.’
‘Funny, aye.’
Sunrise smiled to himself at hearing Sweetlard try out that Malazan way of talking.
And the others nodded. He knew they did, and he didn’t even have to look.
‘Idle hands, soldier. Take hold of that chest there and follow me.’
‘I got an idea about what you can t-take hold of, Master Sergeant, and you don’t n-need my help at all.’
Pores wheeled on the man. ‘Impudence? Insubordination? Mutiny?’
‘K-keep going, sir, and we can end on r-r-r-regicide.’
‘Well now,’ Pores said, advancing to stand in front of the solid, scowling bastard. ‘I didn’t take you for a mouthy one, Corporal. What squad and who’s your sergeant?’
The man’s right cheek bulged with something foul-the Malazans were picking up disgusting local habits-and he worked it for a moment before saying, ‘Eighth Legion, Ninth c-c-c-company, Fourth su-su-squad. Sergeant F-F-F-Fiddler. Corporal Tarr, na-na-na-not at your service, Master Sergeant.’
‘Think you got spine, Corporal?’
‘Spine? I’m a f-f-f-fucking tree, and you ain’t the wind to b-b-b-blow me down. Now, as you can s-s-s-see, I’m trying to wake up here, since I’m c-c-c-coming on my watch. You want some fool to t-t-tote your ill-gotten spoils, find someone else.’
‘What’s that in your mouth?’
‘Rylig, it’s c-c-c-called. D’ras. You use it to wake you up shuh-shuh-shuh-sharp.’
Pores studied the man’s now glittering eyes, the sudden cascade of jumpy twitches on his face. ‘You sure you’re supposed to chew the whole wad, Corporal?’
‘You m-may huh-huh-have a p-p-p-point theh-theh-there.’
‘Spit that ow-ow-out, Corporal, before your head explodes.’
‘Ccccandoat, Mas-Mas-mmmmfuckface. Spenspenspensive-’
The idiot was starting to pop like a seed on a hot rock. Pores took Tarr by the throat and forced him half over the rail. ‘Spit it out, you fool!’
He heard gagging, and then ragged coughing. The corporal’s knees gave out, and Pores pulled hard to keep the man upright. He stared a long moment into Tarr’s eyes. ‘Next time, Corporal, be sure to listen when the locals tell you how to use it, right?’
‘H-H-Hood’s B-B-Breath!’
Pores stepped back as Tarr straightened, the corporal’s head snapping round at every sound. ‘Go on, then, do your twenty rounds for every two your partner does. But before you do,’ he added, ‘why not carry that chest for me.’
‘Aye sir, easy, easy. Watch.’
Fools who messed up their own heads, Pores reflected, were the easiest marks of all. Might be worth buying an interest in this Rylig stuff.
The two half-blood D’ras hands lounged near the starboard tiller.
‘The whole load?’ one asked, eyes wide with disbelief.
‘The whole load,’ the other confirmed. ‘Just jammed it into his mouth and walked off.’
‘So where is he now?’
‘Probably bailing the barge with a tin cup. The leaks ain’t got a hope of keeping up.’
They both laughed.
They were still laughing when Corporal Tarr found them. Coming up from behind. One hand to each man’s belt. They wailed as they were yanked from their feet, and wailed a second time as they went over the stern rail. Loud splashes, followed by shrieking.
Clear to Tarr’s unnaturally bright vision, the V wakes of maybe a dozen crocodiles fast closing in. He’d forgotten about those things. Too bad. He’d think about it later.
The alarms rang for a time, big brass bells that soon slowed their frantic call and settled into something more like a mourning dirge, before echoing to silence once again.
Life on the river was a nasty business, nasty as nasty could get but that’s just how it was. The giant lizards were horrible enough with all those toothy jaws but then the local hands started talking about the river cows waiting downstream, not that river cows sounded particularly frightening as far as Tarr was concerned, even ones with huge tusks and pig eyes. He’d heard a score of confusing descriptions on his rounds, but only fragmentary ones, as he was quickly past and into the next bizarre, disjointed conversation, quick as breaths, quick as the blur of his boots drumming the deck. Vigilant patrol, aye, no time for lingering, no time for all that unimportant stuff. Walk the rail and walk the rail, round and round, and this was decent exercise but he should have worn his chain and kit bag and maybe his folding shovel, and double time might be required, just so he could get to know all these sudden faces jumping up in front of him, know them inside and out and their names, too, and whether they liked smoked fish and chilled beer or proper piss-warm ale and so many bare feet what if someone attacked right here and now? they’d all have nails stuck in their tender soles and he’d be all alone leading the charge but that’d be fine since he could kill anything right now, even bats because they weren’t so fast were they? not as fast as those little burning sparks racing everywhere into his brain and back out again and in one ear out the other two and look at this! Marching on his knees, it was easy! Good thing since he’d worn his legs down to stumps and now the deck was coming up fast to knock on his nose and see if anyone was home but was anyone home? only the bats-
‘He going to live?’ Badan Gruk asked.
‘Eh? Egit primbly so, lurky bhagger.’
‘Good. Keep him under those blankets-I never seen a man sweat like that, he’s bound to chill himself to the bone, and keep forcing water down him.’
‘Dentellit meen bazness, Sornt! Eenit known eeler, eh?’
‘Fine then, just make sure you heal him. Sergeant Fiddler will not be pleased to hear his corporal went and died in your care.’
‘Fabbler kint shit ding! Ee nair feered im!’
‘Really? Then you’re an idiot, Nep.’
Badan Gruk frowned down at Tarr. Some new fever to chase them down? He hoped not. It looked particularly unpleasant, reminding him of the shaking fever, only worse. This place had almost as many miserable diseases and parasites as in the jungles of Dal Hon.
Feeling nostalgic, the sergeant left Tarr to Nep Furrow’s ministrations. He would have been happier if he’d been on the same barge as Sinter, even Kisswhere. Corporal Ruffle was around, but she’d discovered a bones and trough game with a few heavies and was either heading for a sharp rise in her income or a serious beating. No matter what, she’d make enemies. Ruffle was like that.
He still didn’t know what to make of this army, these Bonehunters. He could find nothing-no detail-that made them what they were.
Surrounded by foreigners, friendly or otherwise, settled a kind of pressure on every Malazan soldier here. Demanding a shape to this army, and yet something was resisting it, something within the Bonehunters, as if hidden forces pushed back against that pressure.
Who was the enemy awaiting them? What sort of mask would they see this time?
Badan Gruk could not remember ever knowing a person who deliberately chose to do the wrong thing, the evil thing-no doubt such people existed, the ones who simply didn’t care, and ones who, for all he knew, enjoyed wearing the dark trappings of malice. Armies served and sometimes they served tyrants-bloodthirsty bastards-and they fought against decent, right-minded folk out of fear and in the interests of self-preservation, and out of greed, too, come to that. Did they see themselves as evil? How could they not?
No one talked much about that, and yet Badan Gruk suspected it was the sliver of jagged iron lodged in the heart of the Bonehunters, and the bleeding never slowed.