Lessons in French

'The work of the vulgar Toby, I perceive.' Trev gingerly pushed Hubert's horn away from his face with his injured hand. 'Doubtless this too will be added to my account. Keeping a vicious dog on the premises.'

'Old Toby's all right,' Jock muttered through the door. 'Had all the sense knocked out of him in his line o' work, is all.'

'Toby? That's your dog?' Callie asked, lifting her head. Before Trev could even answer, she had leaped forward in her thoughts. 'That's a fighting dog!' She stared at him for an instant, her whole world tilting. 'Why is Hubert dyed black?'

'A small misunderstanding,' Trev said hastily.

'You stole him!' Callie exclaimed. 'You were going to bait him!'

'Of course not. I-'

'Why is he disguised?' she demanded. 'Why is he in your kitchen? And that dog.' Her voice rose in pitch. 'I'll never let Hubert be baited! He's-'

'Callie!' His voice cut strongly over hers. 'Good God, do you think I'd do any such thing?'

She paused, biting her lip. Then she lifted the f lour sack in bewilderment. 'But I don't understand. Why is he here?'

'I was trying to get him back for you,' he said roughly. He began to edge past Hubert's bulk as the door clicked abruptly closed. 'Maudlin fool that I am. Keep him quiet, unless you prefer to hand him back to Davenport on a silver platter, and my head along with him.'

Callie had to feed Hubert the entire overturned basket of tomatoes and raise the new cook's wages to two guineas a week in order to keep both of her charges in check while dogs and constables raged about outside. Trev and Jock seemed to be leading them a merry chase, with a few feints provided by Lilly from the upstairs window. In spite of her initial shock, the young maid had clearly thrown in with the criminal ranks. She showed some zest for it too. When Toby began scratching and barking at the kitchen door, she leaned out and rang such a peal about disturbing a house of illness that the constable tried to grab the dog himself, though all he seemed to get was a nip for his trouble.

Hubert paid no mind to the snarling threat from the yard, occupied with his tomatoes, but Cook finally grabbed a tub of dishwater in both of her beefy arms, braced it against the door, and opened the latch, dumping the whole over Toby as he tried to dash inside. He yelped and shied back. Cook slammed the door closed. The barking and growling ceased.

'Well done,' Callie said in admiration. 'Three guineas a week!'

Cook nodded shortly and crossed her arms. 'Constables. Dogs. Can't have such 'uns in the kitchen, can us?'

'I should think not,' Callie said, rubbing Hubert's ear.

'I warn 'er, my lady, I don't know how I'll serve a dinner on time,' Cook said ominously.

'I think a light luncheon will be perfectly adequate. Perhaps you can…' Callie surveyed the wreck of the kitchen. 'Perhaps a ham and mustard sandwich,' she concluded faintly.

'Pr'haps,' the cook said with displeasure. She nodded at the bull. ''Tis standin' on the bread, him is.'

'Yes,' Callie said helplessly. 'I see.'

Cook harrumphed in disgust. 'Can't put food on the table with a bull in the kitchen, can us?' She rolled down her sleeves and turned resolutely to the door.

'Oh no, please don't go-' Callie's plea was cut off by the sound of the door thumping closed behind the cook with finality. She bit her lip in vexation, sure that was the last they would see of the new cook. She was astonished a few moments later to hear the constable and Major Sturgeon addressed in strong Gloucester accents. The cook's voice was soon joined by another, equally scolding. Callie recognized the nurse, who seemed to have abandoned her patient long enough to come down to the yard and rebuke the local officer of the law in no uncertain terms. Lilly's higher tones joined in, and the sounds, along with the major's clipped replies and Constable Hubble's pathetic attempts to mount a defense, receded.

Callie fed Hubert another tomato. After several minutes, the door to the hall opened cautiously. 'Still here?' Trev looked around the corner.

She gave him a dry look. 'Where did you expect us to be?'

'Can he turn about?'

Callie cast a glance round the room, measuring Hubert's length against the breadth of it. 'In a word-no.'

'Damn.' Trev went away for a moment, then came back and opened the door fully, stepping down into the kitchen. 'It's safe for now. They've retreated in disarray. Cook's gone for some bread at the shop. An excellent woman!' He grinned. 'We'd fought it to a draw, but Sturgeon wasn't going to fall back until she rallied the forces.'

'I've raised her wages to three guineas a week,' Callie informed him.

'Capital.' He offered another carrot to Hubert. 'I could commit murder before her very eyes and keep her on at that rate. Now-what are we to do with you, my immense friend? Can you back him out?'

'I doubt it. I may have to lead him through the hallway,' Callie said.

'I fear that you may. I pray for the survival of the f loorboards. And after that, what are we to do with him?'

'What are we to do with him?' she echoed in surprise. 'I should think that must be obvious.'

'We must get him out of here, of course,' Trev said. 'But after that, I'll admit, I'm stymied for a plan.'

'We'll return him to Colonel Davenport, of course.'

'And what will we say to the colonel?' he inquired. ''Here's your bull, my good man. So sorry he fell in a tanner's vat!''

Callie made an exasperated sound. 'Why on earth did you dye him? It makes it appear as if you stole him.'

'Ah. You perceive the crux of the problem.'

She was silent for a moment, her gloved hand resting on Hubert's muscular shoulder. She lowered her eyes. 'Did you steal him?' she asked softly.

'Well, no,' he said. 'At least, I didn't mean to.'

She lifted her eyes, her head tilted a little aside, a hesitant upward curve on her lips.

Trev felt his heart make a certain sort of squeeze, the kind of pang that he direly wished to avoid, when she looked at him just so. He gave a f lat smile and a shrug. 'I'd intended to purchase him, if you will credit that.'

'For me?' Her voice was barely above a whisper.

'Oh no,' he said casually. 'I meant to present him to some other lady. It's all the crack, you know. Flowers are so common.'

She pressed her lips together and frowned. She wrinkled her nose, and then put her arm over Hubert's broad back and laid her cheek to his massive shoulder. 'Thank you,' she said quietly.

Trev examined the bandage on his hand, tugging at the knot. 'An unsuccessful endeavor, as usual. What will I bungle next?'

Callie sighed. She lifted her head and stroked the bull's sleek hide. 'We must give him back, you know. He's too valuable.'

'I suppose,' he said. 'I prefer not to be too closely associated with the honorable deed, myself. Perhaps we could just turn him loose, to be found.'

She considered this, shaking her head slowly. 'I don't like to turn him loose. There are these sharpers lurking about. And there's no saying who might find him first, or that he might get tangled with some fence, or chased by dogs, or a fast carriage might come upon him suddenly in a narrow lane. Hunting gentlemen come into the country this season and drive as if they're mad. He might be hurt.'

'True.' Trev privately spared a moment's sympathy for any fast driver who happened to collide with Hubert.

'Besides, I think he would just come home again.' A slight frown crossed her brow. 'And if he were discovered at Shelford-dyed like this-' Her eyes widened. 'Someone might think I stole him!'

He snorted. 'You? No one would suppose that.'

'With the Hereford show next week-' She stood straight. 'Everyone knows we're going to it. Everyone knows I hoped to win. There's a great deal of rivalry within the county Agricultural Society.'

'It's cutthroat, I've no doubt,' he said. 'But I hardly think anyone would accuse you-'

'They would,' she said strongly. 'Best Bull not over Four Years of Age-it's for the silver cup, you know! And there was a horrid scandal last year; I heard all about it from Colonel Davenport, though I couldn't attend myself. Mr. Painter was disqualified from ever showing at the exhibition again, because he had glued false hair over a sore on his bull's back.'

'Shocking,' Trev said with a grave look.

'It was! Very! No one would ever have suspected it of Mr. Painter. We supposed him to be a perfectly honorable gentleman. Now he doesn't dare show his face among honest graziers. No, I don't want to risk anything like that. I've seven heifers, four steers, a bull calf, and a pair of oxen entered, even without Hubert. And I'm not certain, now that I think of it, that it would look very well at all even if I took Hubert directly back to Colonel Davenport now. Not in this state, and so close to the exhibition. It might appear that I only pretended to find him and bring him back, while meaning to keep him out of the competition altogether. He can't be shown like this.'

Trev pressed his fist inside the stiff curve of his bandaged hand. 'So… we can't take him back, and we can't turn him loose, and we can't keep him at Shelford.'

She shook her head. 'I don't see how we can-at least until he grows out of this dye.'

'How long will that take?'

'Oh my-his winter coat will be coming on, but- some months I should think, before there is no trace of it.'

'Splendid,' he said dryly. 'We'll have to conceal him, then.'

They both gazed at Hubert. He chewed rhythmi cally, with a faraway, dreamy look in his deep brown eyes. He swished his tail, thumping it against the cupboard with a sound like a hollow drum. Inside the cupboard, the dishes rattled.

'Perhaps some spectacles and a mustache,' Trev suggested.

'Yes, and a bagwig,' Callie said curtly. 'He could sit on the bench and conduct the assizes.'

Trev squinted at the bull. 'He does resemble some of the judges.'

She pursed her lips and gave him an arch look. 'No doubt you're familiar with any number of them.'

'Sadly I am, and I fear I'll come to know them even better if we don't discover some way to deal with this monster.' He crossed his arms, leaning his hip against the overturned table. 'If you believe we can't turn him loose, we must get him well away from Shelford, Callie, in truth. And rapidly at that. Is there anyone you trust to take