out about Hurley’s program and moved me to Santa Fe.’
‘I read about those virtual-reality treatments,’ Celeste said. ‘But they’re considered promising, and they don’t involve drugs.’
‘I didn’t sign up to test drugs, none of us did, I signed up to test the virtual-reality treatments.’ Nathan closed his eyes. Miles put a steadying hand on his shoulder. The trembling stopped. ‘I didn’t know about the drugs till Allison told me.’
‘It’s all cool. Just tell us what you know about Allison’s death,’ Miles said. ‘Start at the beginning.’
‘Sorenson – he’s lying.’ Nathan took another bite of sandwich. A dribble of strawberry jelly lay near his lip. ‘I didn’t kill her. You got to believe me. I would never…’
‘I believe you.’
‘Th-thank you. For getting me out of the torture chamber.’ He clenched his fists, pressed them into his face. ‘I thought I was fixed but now I feel worse than ever. Allison was the only person who helped me-’
‘I swear I’ll help you, Nathan,’ Miles said. ‘But you have to help us.’
‘Help you what?’
‘Find justice for her.’
Nathan laughed. ‘How high and mighty. Justice.’ Nathan cleaned the jelly off his chin with his thumb, the way a child would, sucked the jelly off the nail.
‘She was our friend,’ Celeste said. ‘Our doctor.’
‘You can’t help a dead person,’ Nathan said. ‘They’re dead, end of story.’
‘Not end of story. She tried to help you,’ Miles said.
Nathan’s mouth went into a thin slash. ‘I want to know what I’m getting into, I still don’t know why you use two names.’
‘I’d like to know why, too, Miles,’ Celeste said quietly. ‘Which name do you prefer?’
He could unfold the confession he kept in his pocket, let them read it. But he wouldn’t. He needed Nathan to trust him, but he wasn’t sure yet he could trust Nathan. He knew the attitude was wrong – when he preached cooperation to a scared, beaten kid – but he couldn’t help himself. So he kept the explanation edited. ‘My dad died. He owed three hundred thousand dollars to a crime family in Miami. They forced me to work with them to pay the debt. They had me spy on their rivals. I finally cooperated with the feds, testified, and went into the witness protection program. The government moved me to Santa Fe and named me Michael. But I’m not in witness protection anymore.’
‘Tell them the whole story,’ Andy hissed from the kitchen table. ‘I’m waiting.’
Celeste, as though she heard Andy’s whisper, put a hand on Miles’s arm.
‘That’s your trauma?’ Nathan said. ‘Jesus, that’s fricking nothing, man.’
‘Stop it,’ Celeste said. ‘This isn’t a competition.’
‘I’m just saying I don’t see how being in witness protection would drive you nuts,’ Nathan said.
‘I killed a man,’ Miles said suddenly. ‘He tried to kill me and two undercover cops who had infiltrated the ring. I shot him.’
‘What caused him to go postal?’ Nathan asked.
‘I don’t remember,’ Miles said. ‘We were just talking to him and he pulled his gun and he tried to kill me.’
Nathan glanced at Celeste. ‘Be careful what you say.’
‘Don’t joke. You owe this man your life,’ she said.
Nathan shut up.
‘There’s my truth, Nathan. Your turn. Finish your story. Allison was getting you out.’
‘Yeah. I was supposed to get to her house, wait for her. We were going to disappear, go where no one could find us, she said. She said we had to run Tuesday night. I don’t know what made Tuesday special.’
‘What about Groote?’ Miles asked.
‘Never saw him, or Sorenson, before Tuesday.’
‘You ever hear of a man named Quantrill?’ Miles asked.
‘No.’
‘Allison should have just called the state board on Hurley and Quantrill,’ Miles said. ‘Why run? Why hide? She could have simply gone to the police. She asked me for help. She sounded like she was making a stand to fight. But then she tells you she was running.’
Nathan said, ‘Maybe she wanted your help in hiding herself and me. Since you know all about it.’
Miles shrugged. But the explanation didn’t ring true to him, part of the story was bent, a piece was missing.
Nathan creaked to his feet with a wince, washed his face in the sink.
‘If Frost was fixing you, why would you want to leave?’ Celeste asked.
Nathan dragged a finger across his lips. ‘Allison said Hurley was going to do extra experiments on me. Because my trauma was so bad. Eventually – take apart my brain to show how Frost worked on it.’
Celeste said, ‘Oh, God, they’ll kill all the patients?’
‘No, they couldn’t risk so many people dying without explanation. But I was supposed to meet with an accident, Allison said.’ Nathan put a hand across his eyes. ‘I need to sleep.’
‘Answer one more question. Do you really think Frost helped you?’
‘I used to not be able to function at all. But I can now. So I guess I’m better. But lately, I can’t always think straight. I get panicky.’
‘Same with you, Celeste?’ Miles asked.
She shrugged. ‘Nathan, do you feel-’
‘I don’t want to talk anymore!’ he nearly screamed. He threw his plate into the sink. ‘Please. Just… I need to sleep. Let me sleep.’
Miles helped Nathan walk upstairs to a guest bedroom. Nathan eased himself down on the sheets, grabbed Miles’s arm.
‘If you try and hurt me while I’m sleeping, I’ll kill you.’
‘Dial it down a notch, man. I saved you. We’re on the same side.’
‘No,’ Nathan said. ‘No one’s on my side.’
Nathan fell asleep in five minutes. Miles stood in the doorway, watching the slow rise and fall of Nathan’s chest.
‘He’s dangerous,’ Andy said. ‘You can’t trust him.’
‘You’re one to talk,’ Miles said and went back downstairs. Celeste had brewed a pot of decaffeinated coffee and sat at the kitchen table.
‘Do you believe him?’ she asked.
‘Yes and no. We know she stole Frost and sent it to this Mercury Mountain host. Allison doesn’t use her own computer, or one at the hospital, or a public one in an Internet cafe or a library. She uses yours. She takes the pills she tested on you.’
‘She told me Frost was an antidepressant. Medical samples so I didn’t have to bother with a prescription, since I don’t – didn’t get out much. I don’t much like being a guinea pig.’
‘She might have been giving you the pills purely to help you, if she was sure they would help,’ Miles said. ‘And then she took them back to protect you in case the hospital got suspicious.’
‘It’s unethical.’
‘I won’t disagree. But you’re out of your house, you’re functioning.’
‘True. I don’t doubt Allison’s good intentions.’
‘But I don’t understand why Allison didn’t go straight to the police, especially if Hurley planned to carve into Nathan’s brain.’
‘He’s lying,’ Celeste said.
‘You think?’
‘I do. But I don’t know which part of his story isn’t real. I just get the vibe he’s not being entirely honest.’
‘I get one vibe from him. He wants to be a soldier again. Strong. Capable. Confident.’
They sipped coffee in uncomfortable silence.
