also written all over the rest of her. Lucifer named you Ash, is that right? Because after you sacrificed yourself to save St. Croix’s life, you’re not Rachel Boyle anymore.”
CHAPTER 14
Through his own shock, the immediate denial, Nicholas felt Ash tense behind him.
“I’m not Rachel.”
“Not anymore,” the woman agreed, but her gaze moved between them, and Nicholas could almost see her calculating, weighing. “You don’t know. Neither of you know.”
“We know she’s not Rachel,” Nicholas said.
The woman’s eyes flattened. “No, because Lucifer stripped most of Rachel out of her. Didn’t he? Not everything, because she’s talking, and I’m guessing she didn’t have to relearn her ABCs, but the rest is gone, isn’t it? Relationships, emotional connections, and the deeper they were the harder he dug. Then he ripped them right out, and took everything that made Rachel
Ash made a soft noise—of pain, of terror. The sound tore at his heart. Nicholas spun, caught her in his arms.
Behind him, the woman continued speaking. “You might not remember all of that, because it was Rachel who’d have made the decision. She’s the one who’d have agreed to the transformation, the bargain. But you . . . you’re the one who is stuck with it. The one with the spell on your face and the fate of the world on your shoulders.”
Ash began to shake. Almost convulsing, her teeth rattling. Tears stood in her eyes. “I remember. I remember him tearing me apart.”
Jesus. Nicholas wanted to rip the woman’s tongue out. Couldn’t she see what this was doing to Ash? Was this what the Guardians did? Fuck them. Fuck them all.
“What the fuck are you doing? What kind of Guardians are you? Just get out. Get the hell out.”
“We’re not Guardians. Or rather, Hugh isn’t anymore. He used to be. But me, I used to be a halfling like her.”
Ash’s breath caught. “A halfling.”
“We start out human, but are given the powers of a demon. Lucifer didn’t take as much from me. Just my name. Now I’m Lilith. Even though I’m human again now, I’m still Lilith.”
“Human again,” Nicholas repeated, looking into Ash’s eyes. “How?”
“Lucifer did that, too.”
Her footsteps indicated her approach. Nicholas half turned, trying to shield Ash with his body, trying to make certain he could watch for any attack.
“So you see why we sent Sir Pup in here first to determine exactly what sort of demon she was and to take your weapons. It would have been a shame if Ash had shot either one of us. That would be breaking the Rules.”
And that meant Nicholas couldn’t use the Rules to his advantage, either. Fuck.
“I heard wings,” Ash said.
“We needed a ride.” Lilith looked up, as if through the roof. “Now they’re up there, a full phalanx. Waiting. Because that spell on your face means that you are a danger to everyone. Ideally, we’d hide you in Caelum, but a demon—even a halfling—can’t be teleported to that realm. So we’ll take you to Special Investigations, where we can protect you until we hunt down the demon who holds your leash. Your choice is simple: Either you leave with us, or you don’t leave this cabin alive.”
Fury slammed through him. “Fuck you. You aren’t touching her.”
“I prefer not to slay her. But understand this, Nicholas St. Croix: I’m willing to sacrifice one to save the lives of many. That sacrifice won’t be necessary, though, if she agrees to protection, so that the spell can’t be cast.”
“I’ll protect her.”
“You?” Lilith laughed. “I have a report that says a demon in Duluth almost ripped her apart while you waved a crossbow around. You didn’t even know who or what she was. A woman
“He did.” Ash’s fingernails dug into his biceps, her eyes glowing. Suddenly fierce, defensive. “He was trying to help me find out who I am.”
“Was he? It’s strange, though. That doesn’t fit what I know of him at all. Raised by a demon, bent on revenge.” Her head tilted as she studied him. “When you first met her, what did you think? That she was Madelyn, come to taunt you in Rachel’s form? Or maybe a demon who’d been plotting with Madelyn.”
Jesus. Whoever her sources were, they’d informed her well. But that was no secret. Even Ash knew that. “Yes.”
“And then you intended to kill her.”
His heart thudded. He felt Ash’s fingers tighten, then her soft laugh. “No, he didn’t. I was too useful to him.”
Lilith’s eyes narrowed. “Is that true, Nicholas? Say it.”
God. What did it matter? “That was then,” he said.
“So you did intend to.”
Fuck. “Yes.”
“Truth,” Hugh said.
Ash’s breath stopped. Obviously shaken, she looked up at him.
Nicholas shook his head. “I wouldn’t now. I’d die before hurting you now.”
No pronouncement of truth came. Somehow, the silence seemed damning. He touched Ash’s face, her hair.
“Not anymore,” he said, and didn’t look away until she nodded. He turned fierce eyes on Lilith. “What the fuck?”
Her brows lifted. “I’m just trying to make sense of this. You didn’t know she was Rachel, but you offered to help her. But Ash says that it’s because she was useful. Useful for what? She doesn’t know anything, either.”
“I didn’t know that.”
Lilith looked at Ash. “You lied to him? There’s hope for you, then.”
“She didn’t lie,” Nicholas said. “And I was using her to find Madelyn.”
“Truth.”
“Madelyn,” Lilith repeated. “Funny. You want to protect her, but you put her in the path of the demon who’s most likely the one she’s bound to obey. The demon who most likely intends to kill her in order to complete that spell.”
Ash began shaking again. “Bound to her?”
“Yes.” Lilith stepped closer, her voice softening. “I think you remember this, too—because Lucifer would need you to. Or Madelyn would have told you after the transformation. Did she bring you out of Hell? Was she the first person you remember?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re terrified of her now.”
“Yes.” She pushed her face against Nicholas’s shoulder. Chest aching, he slid his hand into her hair, held her to him. “Yes.”
“Because a part of you knows that if she speaks, you must obey. Any order she gives, you must carry through, or you’ll break your bargain with her . . . and return to the frozen field.”
Ash cried out, and he felt tears against his skin. Hot, burning, but he remembered her fear of the cold, her
