Firelight

flutters.

And I think, no. I don’t care. I don’t care where we go. Anywhere is better than here. Anywhere with him.

We cross back into the main building and Will leads me to a stairwell on the south end, far from the pep rally.

The slamming door echoes long and deep in the belly of the stairwell, closing us in. It feels like we’re in a narrow capsule, sealed within the earth. Kept apart from everyone and everything. The last two people in the world.

Will releases my hand and sits on a step. I follow suit, taking the step below his, too self-conscious to sit directly beside him. The concrete is cold and hard under me. The steel railing at my back digs into my spine.

I usually avoid the tight, airless stairwells in favor of the open ramps in the center of the school that connect the first floor to the second. Even if it takes me longer to reach my class.

But here, with Will, it doesn’t bother me so much. I can tolerate the closed-in feeling.

“Thanks for getting me out of there,” I murmur, lacing my fingers around my knees, and looking up at him on his step.

“Yeah. You looked a little green.”

“I don’t handle crowds too well. I’ve always been that way, I guess.”

“You might get in trouble,” he warns, staring at me in that strange, hungry way that unravels me. He strokes his bottom lip with a finger. For a flash of a second, his eyes look strange. Different. All glowing irises and thin dark pupils. Almost draki-like. I blink to clear my vision. His eyes are normal again. Just my imagination in overdrive. I’m probably projecting missing home and Az—everything—onto him. “Pep rallies are mandatory,” he continues. “A lot of people saw you leave. Teachers included.”

“They saw you leave, too,” I point out.

He leans to the side, propping an elbow on one of the steps behind him. “I’m not worried about that. I’ve been in trouble before.” He smiles a crooked grin and holds up crossed fingers. “The principal and I are like this. The guy loves me. Really.”

Laughter spills from me, rusty and hoarse.

His grin makes me feel good. Free. Like I’m not running from anything. Like I could stay here in this world, if only I have him.

The thought unsettles me. Sinks heavily in my chest. Because I can’t have him. Not really. All he can ever be for me is a temporary fix.

“But you’re worried I’ll get in trouble?” I try not to show how much this pleases me. I’ve managed to ignore him for days now and here I sit. Lapping up his attention like a neglected puppy. My voice takes on an edge. “Why do you care? I’ve ignored you for days.”

His smile fades. He looks serious, mockingly so. “Yeah. You got to stop that.”

I swallow back a laugh. “I can’t.”

“Why?” There’s no humor in his eyes now, no mockery. “You like me. You want to be with me.”

“I never said—”

“You didn’t have to.”

I inhale sharply. “Don’t do this.”

He looks at me so fiercely, so intently. Angry again. “I don’t have friends. Do you see me hang with anyone besides my jerk cousins? That’s for a reason. I keep people away on purpose,” he growls. “But then you came along….”

I frown and shake my head.

His expression softens then, pulls at some part of me. His gaze travels my face, warming the core of me. “Whoever you are, Jacinda, you’re someone I have to let in.”

He doesn’t say anything for a while, just studies me in that intense way. His nostrils flare, and again it’s like he’s taking in my scent or something. He continues, “Somehow, I think I know you. From the first moment I saw you, I felt that I knew you.”

The words run through me, reminding me of when he let me escape in the mountains. He’s good. Protective. I have nothing to fear from him, but everything to fear from his family.

I scoot closer, the draw of him too great. My warming core, the vibrations inside my chest feel so natural, so effortless around him. I know I need to be careful, exercise restraint, but it feels too good.

The pulse at his neck skips against his flesh. “Jacinda.”

My skin ripples at his hoarse whisper. I stare up at him, waiting. He slides down to land solidly on my step. He brings his face close to mine, angles his head. His breath is hard. Fast. Fills the space, the inch separating us.

I touch his cheek, see my hand shake, and quickly pull it back. He grabs my wrist, places my palm back against his cheek, and closes his eyes like he’s in agony. Or bliss. Or maybe both. Like he’s never been touched before. My heart squeezes. Like I’ve never touched anyone before.

“Don’t stay away from me anymore.”

I stop myself, just barely, from telling him I won’t. I can’t promise that. Can’t lie.

He opens his eyes. Stares starkly, bleakly. “I need you.”

He says this like it doesn’t make sense to him. Like it’s the worst possible thing. A misery he must endure. I smile, understanding. Because it’s the same for me. “I know.”

Then he kisses me. I’m too weak to resist.

His lips are cool, dry on mine. They shiver—or is that me?

I kiss him tentatively at first, determined to stay in control this time…but still have this, enjoy the decadent play of his lips on mine, relish the break in my loneliness. He deepens the kiss, and I respond, thoughts dropping away, like pebbles plopping one by one in water, sinking down, down into dark oblivion.

I’m lost to sensation, to the taste of him, the scent of his clean skin, the mint of his toothpaste. And then there’s me. The arousing vibrations in my chest. The invigorating pull of my bones. The dancing tingles in my back…

Oh, God. Not again.

I break away, sever myself from him with an agonized gasp, pressing myself against the cold, unforgiving railing, letting the hard metal bruise my back, punish the wings that would dare surface. For now, they’re suppressed.

He buries his face in my neck, holding me close, whispering my name.

My face ripples, stretches tight. The bridge of my nose pushes, the ridges thrusting forward. I glance down at my arms. My skin blurs in and out, shimmering faintly. Gold dusted.

With a small cry, I twist around and bury my face into the cold bite of metal railing. Panic coats my mouth. Fear edges in. Like the night in his car. I can’t believe I let this happen again. Can’t believe that I could have so little control. Be so stupid. Did I learn nothing the first time?

I breathe steadily through my nose, determined to hang on, to recover myself in front of him. I won’t be the one to reveal the greatest, most carefully guarded secret of the draki.

Peeking down at my arm, I detect only the barest gold shimmer. I flex my cheeks, test my face and find the skin loose again, normal. Human.

Will’s hand closes gently over my shoulder, his fingers squeeze hesitantly. “Jacinda—”

After several more moments and I’m certain it’s safe, I turn around, breathing carefully, slowly, calmly….

He watches me, the misery vivid in his changeable eyes. My throat aches. He’s the only bright light I’ve found here. It’s not fair. In this case, my draki is working against itself. I touch my lips. They still burn, still taste of him.

His voice rumbles deep and smooth, like that day in the mountains, when emotions flowed as thick as mist. “I’m sorry. I guess I got carried away. I thought…” He shakes his head, dragging both hands through his hair, clearly misunderstanding, reading something else on my face. “With you, I just…Jacinda, I didn’t mean—”

“Stop,” I say.

Because I can’t stand for him to apologize for kissing me.

Not when I wanted him to. Not when I want him to do it again. I drag a deep breath into my lungs, satisfied