I was standing close to her in order to avoid being jostled by students eager to reach the counter. The two careworn teachers who were on duty tried to overlook the pandemonium around them. They kept sneaking looks at the clock and counting down the minutes before they could return to the sanctuary of the staff room.
I tried to ignore the elbows digging into me, as well as the sticky patches on the floor from spilled drinks, and listen to what Molly was saying.
“Who are you talking about?” I said.
She gave me a shrewd look that said she was unconvinced by my naive act. “I admit Xavier is one of the hottest guys at school, but everyone knows he’s trouble. The girls that try only end up brokenhearted. Don’t say you weren’t warned.”
“He doesn’t seem deliberately cruel,” I said, overcome by a desire to defend him even though I knew next to nothing about him.
“Look, Beth, falling for Xavier is only going to get you hurt. That’s just the truth.”
“What makes you such an expert on him?” I asked. “Was yours one of the hearts that got broken?”
I had asked the question in jest, but Molly’s face was suddenly serious. “You could say that.”
“I’m sorry. I had no idea. What happened?”
“Well, I liked him for ages and finally got sick of dropping hints, so I asked him out.” She said it offhandedly as if it had happened a long time ago and no longer mattered.
“And?” I prompted.
“And nothing.” She shrugged. “He turned me down. He was polite about it, told me he saw me as a friend. But it was still the single, most humiliating moment of my life.”
I couldn’t tell Molly that what she’d described didn’t sound so bad. In fact, Xavier’s conduct could have been seen as honest, even honorable. When Molly had talked about broken hearts she’d made him sound like some kind of villain. All he’d really done was decline an invitation in the best way he knew how. But I’d learned enough so far about female friendship to know that sympathy was the only acceptable response.
“It’s not right,” Molly continued accusingly. “He walks around looking gorgeous, being friendly to everyone, but won’t let anyone get close to him.”
“But does he mislead girls into thinking he wants more than friendship?” I asked.
“No,” she admitted, “but it’s still completely unfair. How can anyone be too busy for a girlfriend? I know it sounds harsh, but he has to move on from Emily sometime. It’s not like she’s coming back. Anyway, enough about Mr. Perfect. I hope you can make it to my place on Friday — it’ll take our minds off annoying boys.”
“The point of us being here isn’t to socialize,” said Gabriel when I asked permission to go to Molly’s on Friday.
“But it would be rude of me not to go,” I objected. “Besides, it’s Friday night — no school the day after.”
“Go if you wish, Bethany,” said my brother with a sigh. “I would have thought there’d be more profitable ways to spend an evening, but it’s not for me to prevent you.”
“It’s just this once,” I said. “I won’t be making a habit of it.”
“I should hope not.”
I didn’t like the implication behind his words and the subtle suggestion that I was already losing focus. But I didn’t let that ruin my mood — I wanted to experience all facets of human life. After all, it might give me a better understanding of our mission.
By seven o’clock I had showered and changed into a fitted green wool dress. I teamed the dress with ankle boots and dark tights and even put on some of the lip gloss Molly had given me. I was pleased with the result; I looked a little less like my usual pale self.
“There’s no need to dress up, you’re not going to a ball,” Gabriel said when he saw me.
“A girl must always endeavor to look her best,” Ivy said in my defense and gave me a wink. She might not have been pleased about my plans to spend time with Molly and her gang, but she wasn’t the type to harbor a grudge. She knew when to let things go in order to keep the peace.
I kissed them both good-bye and headed out the front door. Gabriel had wanted to drive me over to Molly’s in the black Jeep that we’d found parked in the garage, but Ivy had managed to talk him out of it, telling him there was plenty of daylight left and it was perfectly safe as Molly’s house was only streets away. I accepted Gabriel’s offer to pick me up, though, and agreed to call when I was ready to come home.
I felt a rush of pleasure walking to Molly’s that night. Winter was drawing to a close, but the breeze ruffling my dress was still chilly. I breathed in the clean scent of the ocean coupled with the smell of crisp evergreens. I felt privileged to be there, walking on the earth, a breathing, sentient being. It was so much more exhilarating than observing life from another dimension. Looking down from Heaven on the teeming life below was like watching a show. Being on the actual stage might be more frightening, but it was also more thrilling.
My mood changed when I got to 8 Sycamore Grove. I looked up at the house, thinking I must have copied the number down wrong. The front door was wide-open and it seemed that every light inside was on. Music boomed from the front room and scantily dressed teenagers swaggered out onto the front porch. This couldn’t be it. I checked the address that Molly herself had written on a slip of paper and saw that I hadn’t made a mistake. Then I recognized some faces from school and a few people waved to me. I headed up the steps of the bungalow-style house and almost bumped into a boy retching over the side of the veranda.
I considered turning and going straight home, inventing a headache as an excuse for Ivy and Gabriel. I knew they would never have allowed me to come had they known what Molly’s “girls” night really involved. But my curiosity prevailed, and I decided to go inside just long enough to say hello to Molly and offer my apologies before making a rapid exit.
There was a crush of bodies in the front hallway, which was pungent with smoke and cologne. The music was so loud people had to shout into each other’s ears to be heard. The shaking floor and the lurching dancers made me feel like I was trapped in the middle of an earthquake. The driving beat was so loud it shattered against my eardrums, making me cringe. I could feel hot breath on my cheeks, smell beer and bile in the air. The whole scene was so painfully overwhelming I was almost knocked off balance. But this was human life, I thought to myself, and I was determined to experience it firsthand even if it did make me feel ready to collapse. So I took a deep breath and pushed on.
There were young people in every corner and recess, some smoking, some drinking, and others just draped over each other. I wound my way through the crowd and watched in fascination a group playing a game that I heard someone call Treasure Hunt. It involved girls standing in a row while boys aimed marshmallows at their cleavages from an easy distance. Once successful they had to retrieve the marshmallows using only their mouths. The girls laughed and squealed as the boys burrowed their heads into their chests.
I couldn’t see Molly’s parents anywhere. They must have gone away for the weekend. I wondered how they’d react to seeing their home in its current state of mayhem. In the back living room, couples lay entwined in drunken affection on the brown leather couches. I could see empty beer bottles strewn on the floor, and the snacks of corn chips and M&M’s that Molly had put out in glass bowls had been ground into the carpet. I spotted the familiar face of Leah Green, one of the girls from Molly’s group, and made my way over to her. She was standing by glass doors that opened onto a wide deck area and a pool.
“Beth! You made it!” she shouted over the music. “Great party!”
“Have you seen Molly?” I shouted back.
“In the hot tub.”
I squirmed out of the grasp of an inebriated boy who was trying to drag me into the melee of dancers and dodged another who called me “bro” and tried to give me a bear hug. A girl pulled him off me apologetically. “Sorry about Stefan,” she yelled. “He’s wasted already.”
I nodded and slipped outside, making a mental note to add the new words to the glossary I was compiling.
More empty bottles and cans littered the ground outside, and I had to pick my way carefully around them. Despite the cold, teenagers in bikinis and shorts lounged by the pool and crowded the hot tub. The lights threw an eerie blue glow over the frolicking bodies. Suddenly a naked boy streaked past me and dived into the pool. He emerged shivering but looking pleased with the loud cheers he drew from the others. I tried not to look as horrified as I felt.
I felt a flood of relief when I finally located Molly sandwiched between two boys in the hot tub. Seeing me, she hoisted herself out, stretching like a cat, and lingered long enough for the boys to admire her wet, toned
