“I’d imagine the six-year-old ones would.” Xavier chuckled. “But don’t worry, they get better at it.”
“Even if they do, I still don’t want one,” said Madeline crossly.
“I’m with you,” said Nicola.
“What are you talking about? You have a boyfriend,” Xavier said. “Although that’s the same as being single for you.”
“Shut up,” Nicola told him. “And I don’t have a boyfriend as of two hours ago.”
Nobody except me seemed particularly concerned to hear this.
“Oh, that’s very bad news!” I said. “Are you all right?”
Claire laughed. “She and Hamish break up at least once a week,” she explained. “They’re always back together by the weekend.”
Nicola pouted. “It’s over for good this time. And I’m fine, Beth, thanks for asking.” She glared around at the others.
“Nic’s going to be an old maid,” Michael said, giggling.
“What?” she snapped. “How do you even know what that means? You’re like, four years old.”
“Mommy said it,” Michael answered.
Bernie coughed, nearly choking on her food as Peter and Xavier laughed into their napkins.
“Thank you, Michael,” Bernie said. “What I meant was, you
“I never get angry!” Nicola banged her glass down on the table, spilling some of its contents.
“You threw a tennis ball at Hamish’s head,” Claire said.
“He said my dress was too short!” Nicola cried.
“Your point being?” Xavier asked.
“He should have kept it to himself. He was totally out of line.”
“And for that he deserves to have his brains bashed out by a tennis ball.” Xavier nodded. “Makes perfect sense.”
“I think it’s so nice to finally have a girl over for dinner,” Bernie said over the mounting argument. “We have Luke and Hamish here all the time, but it’s so special for Beth to be with us.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I’m very glad to be here.”
Claire’s cell phone rang, and she excused herself from the table to take the call. Seconds later she was back, her hand cupped over the mouthpiece.
“It’s Luke. He’s running late, but he should be here soon.” She paused. “It would be so much easier if he could just stay the night.”
“You know how your father and I feel about that,” said Bernie. “We’ve had this conversation before.”
Claire turned imploringly to her father, who pretended to be engrossed in his dinner.
“It’s not up to me,” he mumbled sheepishly.
“Isn’t it time to ease up on all that?” Xavier said to his mother. “They have set a date, you know.”
Bernie was adamant. “It’s not appropriate. Just think what example that would be setting.”
Xavier put his head in his hands. “He could sleep in the spare room.”
“Are you offering to keep vigil all night? No, I didn’t think so. So long as you kids are living under this roof, your parents will make the house rules,” Bernie replied.
Xavier groaned as if to indicate he’d heard this speech before.
“There’s no need to react like that,” said Bernie. “I’ve raised my children to adhere to certain values, and sex before marriage is not something this family condones. I hope you haven’t changed your position on that, Xavier?”
“Of course not!” Xavier declared with mock seriousness. “The very idea disgusts me.”
His sisters couldn’t hold back then, and their explosion of laughter lightened the mood. They were immediately joined by their younger siblings, who had no idea what they were laughing about but didn’t want to feel left out.
“Sorry, Beth,” said Claire once she found her breath. “Mom gets on her soapbox sometimes, and there’s no telling when it might happen.”
“There’s no need to apologize, Claire. I’m sure Beth understands what I’m saying. She seems a very responsible person. Is your family religious at all?”
“Very,” I said with a smile. “I think you’d really get along with them.”
For the rest of the night, we talked about safer topics. Bernie asked a lot of noninvasive questions about my interests at school and dreams for the future. Xavier had predicted the turn the conversation would take, and I had carefully rehearsed my answers beforehand. Claire brought a thick copy of
That night was as close to earthly normality as I had ever experienced, and I loved every minute of it. Xavier’s family, despite their petty disputes, were so close-knit, so loving, so human, and I wanted more than anything to share what they had. They knew one another’s strengths and flaws, and they accepted one another regardless. It amazed me how open they were and how much they knew about each other — even little things like favorite ice cream flavors and movie preferences.
“Should I see the new Bond film?” Nicola asked at one point during the night.
“You won’t like it, Nic,” Xavier replied. “Too much action for you.”
Gabriel, Ivy, and I shared a bond of trust, but we didn’t really know one another in the same way. Most of our reflections were internal and never expressed. Perhaps it was because we weren’t required to have personalities that were distinctly our own; so we never spent time developing them. As spectators rather than players, there were no decisions to be made, no moral dilemmas to be solved. Having achieved oneness with the universe meant that we had no need for personal connections. The only love we were supposed to experience was a generic one, which encompassed all living things.
I realized with a pang that I was beginning to identify with humans more strongly than with my own kind. Humans seemed to want to be deeply connected to one another. They both feared and craved intimacy. In a family, it was impossible to keep secrets. If Nicola was in a bad mood, everyone knew about it. If their mother was disappointed, they only had to look at her face to see it. Pretense was a waste of time and energy.
At the end of the evening, I felt enormously grateful to Xavier. Allowing me to meet his family was one of the greatest gifts he could have given me.
“How do you feel?” he asked when he pulled into my drive.
“Exhausted,” I admitted. “But happy.”
That night I thought about something that had never occurred to me before. Bernie’s comment about sex before marriage had struck a chord. I knew it was possible for Xavier and me to have sex because I had taken human form and could engage in any physical human interaction — but what would be the consequences of such a decision?
I made up my mind to broach the subject with Ivy — but not tonight. I didn’t want to ruin my buoyant mood.
20
Warning Sign
I opened the door of the Literature classroom to find Jake Thorn sitting casually on the edge of Miss Castle’s wooden desk, his eyes fixed on her reddening face. I realized they hadn’t heard me come in when neither looked my way. Jake’s glossy dark hair was combed smoothly away from his face. His cheekbones looked razor sharp, and his cat-green eyes watched Miss Castle intently with the hypnotic quality of a snake about to strike. A red rose lay on the desk, and I saw that his long, slim hand rested lightly over hers. There was no sound in the room other than
