offense.
“Don’t be daft!” Her frown deepened. “That hadn’t even entered my head. Why would it? It’s not as if you’re not as well-born as I, and you are Brunswick’s heir, after all.” Waving back at the manor, she faced forward. “And just think of Richard.”
Heather paused, honestly stunned that he’d even imagined. . but perhaps that wasn’t it. Wasn’t the real reason he’d brought up what had to be, for him, a sensitive subject. Eyes fixed unseeing on the river, feeling her way, she went on, “You’re you — you’re too old, too experienced, too worldly to be judged by any other criteria than who and what you
Gazing again at the river, she tipped her head his way. “And much as it pains me to acknowledge it, you’ve been nothing but protective and honorable — indeed, throughout our adventure you were close to a pattern-card of the gentlemanly virtues.”
“Close to?”
“You argued too much and you’re far too stubborn.”
“You can talk.”
“Precisely — I can.” She glanced at him again, this time met his gaze. “You might be an expert in seducing women, but if there’s one thing
With a nod to emphasize her conclusion, she looked back at the river again.
She wasn’t too surprised when he didn’t immediately speak, didn’t rush to push any further point.
It didn’t last, of course.
“All right — so it’s not my birth, and clearly you don’t feel overly challenged by me or my station. You don’t feel out of your depth dealing with me.”
When she made a scoffing sound and flung a dismissive glance his way, he caught it, held it.
“So what, then”—his voice deepened, softened, the suave tones sliding over her skin—“will it take to convince you that you should — indeed, ought to — marry me?”
He let her look into his eyes, for once didn’t keep his mask between them.
Let her see he was in earnest, sincere in wanting to know.
She drew in a long breath, then looked back at the river and let out a long, slow sigh. Wondered why she was bothering. If he truly didn’t know. .
Perhaps she should tell him.
“Very well. As you’re so determined to hear them, these are my reasons.” She’d never voiced them before, not all of them, yet if Catriona was right and he might be her hero. . it behooved her to try to find the words. “I long ago decided that the one element I would never agree to marry without was true. . affection.” Recalling Catriona’s views, she substituted the less specific, less, for men, frightening word. “An affection strong enough to last the years, powerful enough to guide and inform, deep and broad enough to be the foundation of a shared life. I want passion and laughter, interest and inclusion, a partnership at least on a practical level, and something even deeper on the personal.
“I want. . to be wanted, to feel necessary and needed, to know I fill a role that only I can fill.” She paused, then forced herself to go on. “But even more than that, I want that depth of affection to be offered to me, Heather Cynster, not because I
Suddenly seeing the parallel, she caught his gaze. “In light of your query regarding your birth, you should understand how I feel — how important to me it is to be valued for myself, and to know it.”
Breckenridge held her gaze — and wondered how he’d managed to let her maneuver him into such a position. Into the narrow gap in a cleft stick. Because he did understand — more than that, he felt the resonance of her words reach deep, to the man he truly was. Felt his true nature react, respond, effortlessly drawn forth by a compulsion to satisfy her need.
To blurt out words he had no intention of saying, to lay before her the assurance, the capitulation, she was searching for — a vow that she would forever and always be the focus, the fulcrum of his life. . the admission hovered on his suddenly reckless tongue.
He’d had no idea his probing might precipitate such a link, that her answers might deepen his susceptibility even more. He’d been looking for a way to avoid stirring his emotions. Instead. .
She wanted him to tell her he loved her.
But that meant he’d have to hear the words himself.
Words he’d sworn never again to utter. He’d sworn to never again open himself, his heart, to that much pain. .
He knew the pain, still carried the scars.
Never ever again.
Their gazes remained locked. He could almost feel her willing him to open his mouth and speak. .
Time suspended, lengthened, and he started to suspect she knew, had seen, at the very least suspected what he himself was pretending to be blind to.
The prospect shook him, helped him keep his lips firmly shut.
When he didn’t speak — when she accepted he wasn’t going to — her lids lowered, then she drew fractionally back, tipping up her chin as she turned to face the river. “Regardless of any arguments you or others might proffer, I will not marry without that particular affection.”
A declaration, a ringing challenge.
He stirred, muscles tensing, then forced himself to relax again. “This ‘affection.’ ”
The terse words were on his lips before he’d thought, placed there by that elemental male who considered her already his. Who heard her intransigence as a clarion call to action, who interpreted her challenge as an affront.
But aggressive insistence wouldn’t trump her stubbornness. Wouldn’t prevail.
He had other weapons at his disposal, ones he’d honed over decades in the ton.
“Yes?” Brows arched, she glanced at him.
“Perhaps. .” Resuming his rake’s persona, investing every movement with languid grace, he shifted forward, closer. Held her gaze. “You could teach me what it is you need.” He let his gaze drift from her eyes to her lips. “I’ve always been considered a fast learner, and if I’m willing to learn, to devote myself to the study of what you truly want. .”
Her lips parted slightly. He raised his gaze once more to her eyes, to the stormy blue. Read her interest, knew he had her undivided attention.
Inwardly smiled. “If I swear I’ll do all I can to meet your requirements, shouldn’t you accept the. . challenge, if you like, to take me as I am and reshape me to your need?”
Holding her gaze, resisting the urge to lower his to her tempting lips, he raised a hand, touched the backs of his fingers to her cheek in a tantalizingly light caress. “You could, if you wished, take on the challenge of taming the ton’s foremost rake, of making me your devoted slave. . but you’d have to work at it, make the effort and take the time to educate me — arrogantly oblivious male that I am — all of which will be much easier, facilitated as it were, by us marrying. After all, nothing worthwhile is ever attained easily or quickly. If I’m willing to give you free rein to mold me to your liking, shouldn’t you be willing to engage?”
She was thinking, considering; he could see it in her eyes. She was following his arguments, her mind following the path he wanted it to take.
Shifting his fingers to lightly frame her chin, he held her face steady as if for a kiss.
“And just think,” he murmured, his eyes still locked with hers, his lips curving in a practised smile, “of the cachet you’ll be able to claim as the lady who captured me.”
Her focus sharpened. She looked into his eyes, studied them.
Then she rolled her eyes and lifted her chin from his fingers. “You’re really very good, but that’s not going to work.”