returned to our cave he carried a jug of wine. I started drinking. It didna take much for me to realize the more I drank, the less I heard and felt my god.”
“So you kept drinking,” she said in a small voice.
He paused. Should he tell her? She would think of him differently once she knew, he realized. It could also destroy everything that was building between them, but maybe that was for the best. Destroy all hope now before he lost her later. Besides, she would find out once they reached his castle. It was better if she knew just what kind of man he was now.
Better for both of them.
“Aye,” he answered. “I kept drinking. When Lucan wouldn’t bring me the wine, I went out and found it myself.”
“Oh, Fallon,” she murmured.
He gripped her arm, afraid that she would move away from him, and he couldn’t finish the telling if he had to look in her eyes. “Instead of being the leader I was supposed to be, I let Lucan shoulder the responsibility. I knew he needed me to help him control Quinn, but I drowned in my wine anyway.
“Every morning I woke to see Quinn’s rage evident on the walls of the cave where he had clawed at them. The loss of his wife and child rode him hard. In all this time he’s never really gotten over it. I should have been there for him. For both my brothers.”
“What would you have done?” Larena asked. “People deal with grief differently.”
“I turned away from both of my brothers. Lucan begged me to stop the drinking. He tried to hide the wine, but it only resulted in a vicious fight between us. I thank God we couldna kill each other, because I fear I might have. Just to have my wine.”
Her fingers trembled on his chest and he felt her eyelashes against him as she blinked. He wondered what she was thinking, but he didn’t dare ask. Her impression that he was a good man was now shattered, and though he hated it, it was for the best. He wasn’t the man he should have been, and he didn’t want to fail her as he had his brothers.
“I doona know when Lucan realized he couldn’t stop me. I just know that he always made sure I had wine. When he asked us to return to the castle, I wanted to refuse. Being near the place that now held nothing but death and destruction was not how I wanted to spend my days. But after all Lucan had done for me I couldn’t say no to him, even though I wanted to be anywhere but between those stone walls.”
“He thought it would do you good.”
Fallon shrugged. “I suppose. It did benefit Quinn in a way, and it gave Lucan purpose. He helped Quinn and me as best he could, and there is nothing I can do to ever repay Lucan. For close to three hundred years Iburied my god with wine. For three hundred years I left my two brothers alone. When wyrran would come near the castle, I would fight them, but with my swords only.”
“You didn’t release your god?”
“Nay. I didna dare. Not even when Lucan brought Cara into the castle and Deirdre’s Warriors attacked the first time. Because I didn’t change, the Warrior nearly got away with Cara. I’ll never forget the look of dread in Lucan’s eyes when he saw that a Warrior had Cara.”
“What happened?”
“The three of us have always been good fighters. No one ever bested any of us, and when we fought each other, it always ended in a draw. We were great when we fought alone, but unstoppable when we fought together. I guess that’s why Apodatoo, the god of revenge, chose to be inside all three of us.”
She nodded, her hair tickling his nose. “I wondered about that.”
“We had the Warrior cornered, and we attacked. Lucan got Cara away, and Quinn and I killed the Warrior. But we knew Deirdre would attack again. I wanted to be able to help my brothers, but that would mean letting loose my god.”
“You couldn’t do it, could you?”
Shame washed through him. “I had spent too long ignoring what was inside me, including the powers that came with it. I feared I would hinder Lucan more than help him. I knew I could stand my ground with my swords, so that’s what I planned.”
He thought back to that battle and how Cara had tried to hold her own against the wyrran. Lucan had stayed near her, always near her, but the unthinkable had happened. A Warrior caught her and left before Lucan could follow.
“There were so many wyrran. I’ve never seen so many. You killed one and five more took its place. They swarmed the castle along with four Warriors. What Deirdre didn’t realize is that we had four more Warriors on our side.”
Larena smiled against his skin. “The odds were in your favor.”
“Or so we thought. But somehow a Warrior captured Cara. I was the only one who saw, and I knew I had to be able to help her. If Quinn had nearly gone daft with the loss of his wife and child, I knew Lucan would never recover. Cara
“Most of the castle is still in ruins, and the Warrior went to a tower that backed to the sea. He made Cara hold on to his back as he descended the tower. One wrong move and Cara would plummet to her death.”
Larena leaned up on her elbow and looked at Fallon. “By the saints. Deirdre wanted Cara badly, then?”
“Aye. Cara’s mother was a
“Ah. The Demon’s Kiss. Robena told me all about it.”
“Exactly. That blood, along with Cara’s, would give Deirdre more power. We couldn’t allow that.”
Larena nodded and bit her lip. “How did you stop the Warrior?”
“A few weeks before, I had quit drinking as much as I normally did. By the time of that battle, I was consuming the wine only rarely. I was coherent enough to realize Lucan would lose Cara that night. Cara and Lucan had a love like that of my parents, and after everything I had put Lucan through, I couldn’t let him lose the only thing he had ever fought for. So, I unleashed my god.”
“You saved Cara?”
Fallon shook his head and looked away. “I slowed the Warrior. That allowed enough time for Lucan, Quinn, and the others to arrive. In the end, we did get Cara away.”
Soft fingers caressed his cheek, her nail scratching over his stubble. “You didn’t fail your brothers or Cara, Fallon.”
“After that night, I vowed to never touch the wine again.”
“Is that why there is a bottle in your chamber?”
“Aye, to remind me of what I almost lost. If Cara had died, I would have lost Lucan. Quinn was almost beyond us already, but without Lucan there would be nothing holding us together.”
Her hands never stopped touching him. He fisted one hand to stop it from shaking. Talking about the things that had haunted him for so long felt good, but he was ashamed of the man he had become.
She traced his eyebrow and the curve of his lips. “And now? How are your brothers?”
“The morning after the battle I found a piece of parchment rolled between two stones of our castle wall. I had gone looking for Quinn, but as soon as I saw the parchment, I knew.”
“Deirdre.”
He nodded. “She had trapped Quinn. She wants all three of us, and she knew all she had to do was get one of us and the other two would come to her.”
Larena shifted and sat up, tucking her legs beneath her. “Did you get Quinn free?”
“Not yet.”
“Then what are you doing here trying to get your castle back?”
Fallon finally looked at her. “It’s my contribution while the others learn what they can of the Scroll.”
“The Scroll?”
He didn’t miss how her voice had risen and her body had stilled. She knew something, but what exactly? “Do you know of it?”
“The list of names of each family that bore a Warrior?”
“Aye.”
“I’ve heard of it.” But she looked away as she said it.
