Silver Sparrow

with static; ghost strands stood up on their own and danced.

“It’s not just lust when we’re together.” Mary twisted in the chair and searched my mother’s face.

Mama said, “I know.”

• • •

MARY DIDN’T WANT the curls combed out, since she was going to have to ride the bus eight hours to Memphis and she needed her hair to be fresh when she got there. She took Mama’s address, writing the street number on a folded index card pul ed from the bottom of her purse. “I am going to write to you when I get everything set up. You’l have to come to meet him. You need to feel that healing touch again. My man is true,” she said. “True as the Word.”

When she was done, Mama didn’t even want to take her money, so Mary tucked the twenty-dol ar bil in the little pocket of my dress. Mama didn’t notice because of al the commotion I caused when Mary tried to leave. She set me down and headed toward the door and I threw a fit. “Don’t go,” I said over and over, grabbing for Mary’s legs. Mama was so embarrassed that she forgot her condition and bent to pul me away. The pain caught her by surprise and she staggered a little bit. Mary picked me up again and kissed my feverish little face. “Jesus loves you,” she said. “And you, too, Laverne. You just have to trust and believe.” Mary rubbed my back in easy circles while I watched my mother from over her shoulder, holding on so hard that Mama felt a little jealous.

Just then, Daddy came into the shop, with Uncle Raleigh close behind carrying a bucket of chicken.

“W-what’s going on here,” he said, reaching for me. He had to pul me away because I refused to unhook my arms. “L-let her go.” He yanked so hard that I started to cry.

Mama was embarrassed. “There’s nothing wrong,” she said. “She was just helping me out because my stitches are hurting me.”

“Good-bye, Laverne,” Mary said. “Don’t let this trouble you none. I’l be seeing you again.”

When the door clapped shut behind her, my daddy leaned to kiss my face, but pul ed back as a shock hurt his lip.

They fought over it, my parents did. Mama complained at the dinner table, trying to eat the chicken Daddy and Uncle Raleigh had brought. “You just don’t want me to have a friend,” Mama said. “Why did you treat her like that?”

“You didn’t see her face,” Daddy said. “There was something wild in her face.”

Mama wiped her eyes with the cheap paper napkin from the chicken place. “I need to take a pil . I don’t feel wel .”

Uncle Raleigh got up to find her a glass of water. Daddy said, “You can’t take codeine on an empty stomach. Eat your dinner.”

“The doctor said no fried foods. I told you that.”

“I’m sorry, Verne,” Daddy said. “Do you want me to fix you a sandwich?”

“I just hate the way you treated her,” Mama said. “How often do I get to have a friend?”

ABOUT THREE WEEKS LATER, Daddy came home early on a Wednesday. He walked into the shop while my mama was trying to do three heads at once. Somebody was holding me, but Daddy didn’t pay it any mind.

“Laverne, can I talk to you for a second?” he said.

My mama wasn’t in the middle of any chemical procedures, so she went outside and sat with Daddy on the porch. “What is it? Is Miss Bunny okay? Raleigh?”

“Nothing like that,” he said. “I was just wondering. That woman that came in late that night, the one in the pink?”

“Mary,” Mama said. “Mary was her name.”

“I saw her picture in Jet, ” Daddy said, handing my mother the folded-back page. “She was the one that threw hot grits on Al Green. I told you she was crazy.”

Mama looked at the article, tracing the words, moving her lips as she read what happened in Memphis just one night after Mary left our shop.

“What did he do to her?” Mama said.

“What did he do to her? She threw a pot of hot grits on the man when he was getting out of the bathtub and you want to know what he did to her?”

“Oh, Mary,” Mama said.

“Black women,” Daddy said. “Y’al know y’al is crazy when you don’t get your way.”

“Oh, Mary,” Mama said again. “Oh, girl.”

This is not a story my mama tel s often. To her, it’s not just gossip, it’s something closer to gospel. One late night Mama was fixing up a girl who was half bald on the left side from snatching at her own head. She opened her mouth to show Mama where she clamped her jaw so tight that she busted one of her molars. While Mama rubbed Magical Grow in the bald places until her naked scalp shone like it was wet, she shared the story of Mary.

“You listening, baby?” Mama said. “When you love a man that much, it’s time to let him go.”

19

UP A NOTCH

AFTER RUTH NICOLE ELIZABETH’S Sweet Sixteen, my father and Raleigh became obsessed with the idea of a party for my mama. Speaking across the radio waves, Lincoln to Lincoln, they used words like soiree and salon. On Saturday morning they got themselves al gussied up in their three-piece suits and headed to the Hilton to find out how much it would cost to rent the