“I can’t,” she said.
“Are you okay?”
“Just leave, al right. My mama is on her way. Please, Chaurisse, just get James and Raleigh to go.” I could hear her crying though the door, bel y sobs like my mama did at Grandma Bunny’s funeral. She had laid out in the pew, kicking so hard, she lost her shoe. Raleigh and I searched on our hands and knees, but we never found it. Mama stood on the black ground in just her stockings while we put Grandma Bunny down.
I jogged back over to the car, where Daddy and Uncle Raleigh leaned against the hood of the hobbled Lincoln, smoking Kools. “W-w-what’s the s-s-situation in there?”
“Daddy, something is seriously wrong. She’s crying. Talking crazy.”
“T-talking crazy? How crazy is crazy? What did she say?”
“Easy, Jim-Bo,” Raleigh said.
“She said we should leave without her. That her mother is on the way. She wants to wait in the bathroom.”
“Her mama?” Daddy said. “She said she cal ed her mama?”
“Easy, Jim-Bo,” Raleigh said.
The clerk stuck her head out of the door and I waved at her.
• • •
MY FATHER WALKED across the lot and knocked on the bathroom door with a delicate rap of knuckles, a habit he picked up after he’d walked in on me in the tub when I was about twelve. For weeks after, he’d knocked on every doorlike surface. I once caught him tapping on the cupboard door before reaching in for a bottle of tonic water.
“Dana,” he said. “This is James Witherspoon, Chaurisse’s dad. Are you okay, young lady?”
“Yes, sir.” Her voice was subdued as a whipped child’s.
“Chaurisse says you’re waiting for your m-mother. Is that correct?”
There was no response from the bathroom.
“Dana,” Daddy said. “You mother is on the way? Confirm or deny.”
There was stil no response from the bathroom. This time Daddy gave a police knock.
“Dana, is your mother on her way? Confirm or deny.” When she wouldn’t, he pounded on the door harder. “Confirm or deny, Dana. Confirm or deny.” He beat on the door with his tight fist.
“James. Don’t do her like that,” Uncle Raleigh said.
Daddy hit the door one more time.
I said, “Daddy, quit before the white people cal the police.” Meanwhile, the bathroom was quiet as a grave.
“Dana,” I said. “You want me to wait with you until your mother comes?”
Uncle Raleigh said, “Chaurisse, you have to come with us.” He took me gently by the arm.
“We can’t leave her. She could be sick. She could be dead in there.”
“She’s not dead,” Uncle Raleigh said. “She’s just scared.”
“I can’t believe you are siding with Daddy on this.”
“We’ve got to hurry, Chaurisse,” Uncle Raleigh said.
Daddy said, “You have to go.” He walked toward the limo without looking to see if we were fol owing.
Slipping Raleigh’s careful grip, I stuck my face in the seam where the door met the jamb; I detected traces of bathroom smel s, piss, and disinfectant cakes. “What’s going on? Please come out.”
“She’s al right,” Uncle Raleigh gripped me harder this time. “She’s just upset.”
As he led me toward the limousine, I let myself go limp, not even holding my head upright on my neck.
“Please don’t make me drag you. Don’t make this worse than it has to be.” As he tugged me to the car, the asphalt scored the rubber toes of my spangled sneakers. My father was already instal ed in the driver’s seat; the limo started with the music of a wel -tuned engine.
Raleigh opened the door. “Just get in, Chaurisse. Just get in.”
“No,” I said. “We can’t leave her.”
“Her mother is coming; just trust me.” Raleigh, stil poised by the open door like a chauffeur, said, “Please.”
My father opened the driver’s door. “Move out the way, Raleigh.” He stepped in front of me. “Chaurisse, get in the goddamn car right now. I don’t have time to play with you. Get in.” He put one hand on my shoulder and his other hand on the top of my head as he guided me into the backseat.
“Don’t question me.”
My father has never laid on hand on me in anger. Although al he did was literal y lay his hand, rage traveled from his skin to mine. I folded myself onto the backseat, compliant as a dog.
“Don’t cry,” Raleigh said. “We love you. We al three love you. Me, your daddy, Laverne, we love you more than anybody in the world.”
