You’l see my picture in the paper and you’l know I died because of you.”
He was upset when I said that. I couldn’t tel by looking at his face, but I sensed it in his body, in the air between us.
“You can’t sneak in.”
“Yes I can. I’l just bypass the roadblock, or run through. And some guard wil order me to stop and I won’t and he’l think I’m Palestinian and he’l shoot me. Or else some militant wil think I’m a set ler and kil me. Either way, I’l die.”
He paused, and I could see him trying to decide what to do. Final y he made up his mind. “Okay. okay, I’l let you through.”
“Thank you.”
“How long are you planning to stay?”
“I don’t know. Not long.”
“I’m trusting you.”
“Do I look like a dangerous person?”
“Looks don’t mean anything. And your husband—wel , he’s gone over to the other side. He’s obviously dangerous.”
“My husband is a recluse. He was burned in an accident in the army, he’s disfigured, that’s why he’s hiding.”
“What kind of stupid reason is that?”
“You’re right, it’s stupid.”
“I never heard of such a thing. It’s bul shit. He’s obviously not tel ing you everything. Be careful, don’t trust him. You’re too trusting, I can see that.”
“Okay.”
“And you … eleven years. Why can’t you face the fact that he’s lost interest in you? You remind me of my girlfriend. Three years she wouldn’t get the message—I had to get a court order in the end. What is it with you women?”
“I don’t know.”
“You can go. Be careful, Dana. Use your head.”
I desperately needed a few minutes alone. I ducked behind a tree and tried to make myself very smal as I slid to the ground, my back against the trunk. A faint, damp smel of sewage water hung in the air, and the current crop on this patch of land was cigaret e but s. My body felt brit le, as if my veins had turned into electric wires. I remembered dreams I’d had when my mother died: I would lift a panel on my skin and discover that I was made not of esh and bone but of robot parts and bat eries. I reached into my bag and touched the soft silk of the dressing gown. It now seemed a very odd thing to do, bringing a silk dressing gown to this place—like clutching at a box of candy during a shipwreck. But I didn’t care. Touching the dressing gown comforted me.
I took my phone out of my pocket and cal ed Ra . This time he answered. “I’m so glad you cal ed. I heard what happened from El a. Are you al right?”
“El a cal ed you?”
“I cal ed her, after I got your message.”
“Wel , I got through. I got past the checkpoint, I’m on my way to Qal’at al-Maraya.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m sit ing on the side of the road at the moment. Hiding behind a tree.”
“El a said you were arrested. She said some asshole beat you.”
“Yeah, but I’m fine now. The main thing is that I got through.”
“You’re okay?”
“Yes. Rafi?”
“I’m here.”
“I love you.”
“Thank you for cal ing, Dana.”
“Thank you for cal ing, Dana.”
“I’l always love you.”
“I’l expect that in triplicate, please. By Tuesday at the latest.”
“I felt real y bad a few minutes ago, but I’m bet er now.”
“Be careful, Dana.”
“I’m already a hero here.”
“Just be careful. No one trusts anyone, and that includes you.”
“I think I’m only about twenty minutes from the city. Oh … I’ve been found.” Five teenage boys and two lit le girls had emerged out of nowhere. They appeared to be brothers and sisters. “I have to go,” I said. “I’l cal you later. I promise.” I rose and smiled at the kids.
