“Why? You’re not even handicapped. So what’s the big deal?”
“You’re just pretending, Dana.”
“You know, I never realized what a super cial person you were. I used to say you had a narrow view of aesthetics and I was right. You don’t know anything about beauty and you obviously never wil . I don’t know what I ever saw in you. You’re vain, shal ow, suspicious, cruel.
I don’t know why I waited for you al these years.”
“When you walked in here, I could tel you had seen me before. Because everyone reacts. And you didn’t. You must have seen me in the hospital.”
“Al I see when I see you is Daniel. I’m sorry if that’s not enough for you. Leopold. I can’t believe it. Leopold, the phantom lover. At least you could have asked me.”
“How could I ask you when I heard you tel Alex you were going to lie to me, that you were going to stay with me out of pity? My mother was there too, and she was crying.”
“Wel , that proves it! Your mother was in Greece!”
“Didn’t she come back when she heard?”
“We couldn’t track your parents down. Didn’t you know that?”
“No.”
“Did you think I was just put ing on a big act when I put al those ads in the paper?”
“I thought you felt guilty.”
“Daniel, I want to touch you.”
“I’m out of practice.”
“Wel , it’s like riding a bike. You don’t real y forget.”
“I think we have to talk first about what you want and what I want and where we go from here.”
“No, I think we have to touch first, and then talk.”
“It’s too overwhelming for me.”
“Tough. You think you can control everything. Wel , for once I’m deciding.” I pul ed o my clothes and lay naked on the embroidered bedspread.
bedspread.
“Just like that first time,” he said.
“Has my body changed?”
“No. Incredibly, it’s exactly the same. Your arm is bruised, though.”
I looked at my arm. He was right, my upper arm had turned copper brown and blue. “It’s that schmuck who hit me. It looks worse than it is, it doesn’t hurt.”
“Everyone’s gone crazy. There’s no sanity left. Poor Dana.”
“He was angry about other things, and he was let ing it out on me … Aren’t you going to kiss me?”
“No, I can’t.”
“At least sit next to me.”
He walked over to the bed, sat down at the edge, and looked at me, but he didn’t touch me.
I took his hand and put it on my midrif . His eyes fil ed with tears.
“What have you got to cry about?” I said. “I’m the one who should be crying.”
“You had your turn, now it’s mine. I’m not ready for this,” Daniel said. “You’re going too fast.”
“Maybe because I’ve waited such a long time. Maybe it makes me impatient.”
“A few minutes ago you were ready to strangle me.”
“Remember our fights?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“I used to get so mad. What did we fight about, apart from the mess?”
“About nothing, real y. Once I laughed at something in a movie and you got mad. Sometimes you hated my jokes. Once I woke you in the middle of the night to ask you to remind me to pay some bil or other. It was just an excuse, I wanted to wake you because I missed you.
You were pret y mad. Another time we argued about that television interviewer, I didn’t like her, you did, or maybe it was the other way around. After your miscarriage we argued about whether I should have been so rude to the hospital sta . You felt it back red, I was convinced you would have died otherwise. We argued about cat food. That’s al I remember, though I’m sure there were a few more I’ve forgot en. We didn’t argue much, if you consider that we were together seven years and two months.”
“We always made up pret y fast.”
“Not this fast. And anyhow, have we made up?”
