Blind God's bluff

meant that I was stupid to stand around while he did it. But my brain was on overload.

While the fairies were attacking, I’d been too busy trying to cope to think about how crazy everything was. But once we got away, I kind of went into shock. And when the old man told me to drive him to the causeway, it was easier to do it than ask questions. I only insisted that we stop at a 7-Eleven along the way for disinfectant, Band-Aids, gauze pads, and tape.

But I regretted being so cooperative when the thing rose out of the water.

At first, all I saw was the dark bulb of a head as big as a fat ten year-old, and the oily gleam of black, slanted eyes. Then, splashing in the shallows, coiling, clutching, and pulling, the octopus’s tentacles hauled it onto the shore.

I yelped and tried to drag the old man backward. He resisted and snapped, “Calm yourself! This is the being I was calling.”

Well, of course it was. How dumb of me not to have realized. I took a deep breath, and, against my better judgment, held my ground.

“Murk,” the old man said.

“My lord Timon,” Murk wheezed, like it was hard for him to breathe out of the water. There was a tiny clicking, too, that his beak made opening and closing. “Someone hurt you.”

The old guy frowned. “It’s trivial. And I killed several of them.”

“If you say so.” The octopus’s eyes shifted in my direction. “Is this for me?” His tentacles stirred.

I started to backpedal, my shoes crunching the sand and stones. Timon raised a grubby hand to reassure me.

“I have a use for him,” he said. “He’s helping me get around.”

“Then this is a rude, miserly sort of summoning,” said Murk.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Timon said.

“You’re well known for making such promises. Not so well known for keeping them.”

“I said, I’ll make it up to you! Meanwhile, it is what it is, and I am who I am.”

Murk grunted. “That’s for sure. What is it you want?”

“There’s a tournament underway.”

“I know. The Twin Helens told me.”

“My injuries make it impossible for me to continue. I need a champion.”

“You surely don’t mean me.”

“My old friend, who else would I even consider? You’re powerful and cunning. If not for bad luck, you might already be a lord yourself.”

“If not for my master holding me down, you mean.”

Timon frowned. Another drop of blood oozed from his right eye socket; he’d refused any of the bandages I’d clumsily used to patch myself up. “If you want your freedom, and a piece of the bay to call your own, you can have them. All you need to do is win.”

Murk laughed. It sounded like a muted trombone-wah-wah-wah-played by someone running out of wind. “What I want, my lord, is to see you broken.”

Timon looked genuinely surprised. “Why? I haven’t treated you so badly. Any of the others would be worse.”

“That remains to be seen, doesn’t it?”

“Don’t let spite stand in the way of your own best interest.”

“It’s not in my best interest to let myself be blinded or worse, now is it? I know who your opponents are.”

“Then have it your way, coward! I’ll get Festering Sam. See how you like it when he’s a lord, and you’re still kowtowing to me.”

“He won’t represent you, either. No one will. We all talked about it.”

Timon stiffened, and when he spoke again, it sounded choked. “Are you saying that every single one of my minions is a traitor?”

“No, my lord. I’m saying that even vassals and thralls have rights, and we’re exercising them. That’s all.”

“When I’ve sorted this out, I’ll give you a thousand years of nightmares.”

“Then it’s a good thing I don’t need a lot of sleep.” Murk’s eyes shifted back to me for a moment. Then he hauled himself back out into the water and slipped beneath the surface.

Up until then, Timon had held himself straight and defiant. Now, his whole body slumped. For a second, I thought he might fall down.

Like I said, I was dazed and bewildered. Yet even so, I’d figured out that there wasn’t much about the old guy that was likable. Still, I felt sorry for him. Maybe it was because we’d just come through danger together.

“It could be,” I said, “that Murk was just trying to rattle your cage. You may still have some… vassals who are willing to help you.”

Timon shook his head. “No. What he said had the ring of truth.”

“What did you do to them all, anyway?”

He showed me that a person can glare without eyes. “Nothing I didn’t have a right to do! Nothing that caused any harm! So what if they suffered a few terrors and humiliations in their dreams? Dreams aren’t real! Isn’t that what your people say?”

“I guess.”

“Any of the others would do worse. As the ungrateful scum will find out in due course. Unless… ” He cocked his head. “Tell me about yourself.”

“I’m just a regular person.” Even as I said it, I realized that regular people don’t create “wards” and drive cars during out-of-body experiences. But it felt true. “Tell me about you. About all of this.”

He shook his head. “You first.”

“You know what? To hell with that. I’m not one of your stooges-”

“Actually-”

“-and I’m done letting you boss me around. Answer my question, or I’ll get back in the car and drive away.”

That might be the smart thing to do anyway. But I didn’t want to, and not just because I felt bad for him. The things I’d seen were terrifying, but fascinating, too. How could a person suddenly discover that his own hometown was full of monsters, and that he himself had some kind of half-assed superpowers, and not want to find out more about it?

Timon sniffed twice, like his nose could tell whether I really would follow through on my threat, and then he scowled. “Have it your way. I assume you know at least a little bit about folklore. Demons, witches, and the like.”

“Well, I saw the Lord of the Rings movies. The first and the third one, anyway. And you’re telling me that all those things are real?”

“You’ve already met some of us. Do we seem real?”

I swallowed. “Yeah. But then why doesn’t everybody know about you? Why haven’t I ever seen you before this?’

“We prefer to keep our society apart from yours, and just dip into your world when we need something. It’s easier that way.”

“Okay.” Interested as I was in what he was saying, his funk was burning my nose again. I took a step back so I could inhale less of him and more of the saltwater smell of the bay. “And in your ‘society,’ there are lords who run everything. And you are one.”

He smiled a crooked smile. “You sound skeptical.”

“No offense, but you look like a homeless person.”

“I spend some of my time living like one. But that’s perfectly acceptable, because I’m not human. Something that seems unpleasant and degrading to one of you doesn’t have the same effect on me.”

“So you’re okay with dumpster diving and never bathing or changing your clothes.”

“Believe me, I have joys and luxuries you can’t even imagine. It’s just that I partake of them in the mansions