She wondered when was the last time she laughed this much. She couldn’t remember. It felt great. Almost as great as an orgasm.
She asked, “Why did the queen sentence him?”
“He was late to the croquet game,” Rabbit said. “The queen doesn’t tolerate tardiness.”
“So, this croquet game we’re going to wasn’t the one that he was invited to?”
“No, no,” Rabbit said. “He was invited to the post-early-afternoon game. There have been three more since then.”
“Three?”
“Yes, the pre-mid-afternoon game, the mid-afternoon game, and the post-mid-afternoon game.”
“And which one are we attending?”
“The pre-late-afternoon game.”
Alice cracked a smile and clamped down on the giggles that threatened to erupt.
Alice was walking with Rabbit now as they approached a wide expanse of green. The entire processional had arrived at an enormous grassy field enclosed by red rose bushes.
They heard an announcement, “Places everyone!”
The flat soldiers ran to their places, bending over into arches.
“What queer arches,” Alice said. She looked around to see where the balls were. She saw a spot by the bushes where dozens of crabs were slowly stepping and stumbling over each other. These crabs had spherical shells, instead of flat shells that Alice had always seen at the seaside. Their legs were just long enough to shift across the ground. Otherwise, it looked like they could roll head over tail quite easily.
“What queer balls,” Alice said. She looked on the ground for mallets, but didn’t see any.
“Where are the mallets?” Alice asked Rabbit.
“There.” Rabbit pointed to a row of shirtless men. Some buff, some lean, some plump, some broad- shouldered. And mmm, Alice liked the chiseled chin on one of the broad-shouldered, bare-chested men. His chest was particularly buff and tan, as if he spent many hours in the sun working his body in honest labor.
“Mallets,” the queen shouted, “Prepare yourselves!”
The men took off their pants and Alice’s jaw dropped. Their penises were all incredibly long. They were so long they practically hit to the ground. Like a third leg. They weren’t even hard, yet! Alice looked at all the dangling cocks. Her pussy tingled.
What would it be like to have one of those stuffed inside of her?!
Lord, she was getting wet just at the thought of it. What would it be like to have that gorgeous chiseled-chin man on top of her, guiding his length into her, inch after inch, until he held her in his arms, and had her fully stretched with his cock? And what would his thrusts feel like? Each stroke would take a delicious forever, wouldn’t it?
Alice felt her entire body heat up all over, her nipples hardened. Her breathing came short.
“Well?” Rabbit said.
“Nothing!” Alice put a hand to her mouth as if it would cover her thoughts.
“What?”
“What?” Alice felt like she was caught with her hand fisting the cookie jar.
Rabbit looked confused. “I was just asking if you were going to pick your mallet,” he said. “Everyone else has.”
Sure enough, all the other players were walking beside one of the naked men. She was in luck. No one had picked her chiseled-chin man with the very buff chest.
Alice walked up to him, smiled, and took his hand. He smiled back. He even had the cutest dimples.
She heard someone laugh and mutter, “She picked a narrow one.” Alice examined the man’s hanging glory. She supposed it was narrower than the others, but didn’t see the big deal. It was still close to dragging along the ground.
“What’s your name?” She asked her mallet.
“Charlie.” He smiled again and showed off his matching dimples.
“I’m Alice,” she said. Then wondered what else to say. “You have a very lovely…mallet.” Stupid, Alice! Stupid! Stupid!
“Thank you.” He blushed.
How cute! She felt herself falling into his brown eyes, his smile, those dimples…
'Players, find your places!' a voice announced.
There was no time to gaze further into his eyes and continue her fantasy, since all the other players were leading their mallets on the field.
She led Charlie to her ball on the field, surrounded by cards bent as arches. She glanced around quickly but didn’t see Rabbit or the queen.
Her marked ball — a crab with a single stripe upon its shell — sat motionless, ready to be tapped. Now how was she supposed to do this? She huddled behind Charlie, wrapped her arms around his waist, and put everything she could into lifting his entire body. She managed somehow to lift him by leaning far back and swing him and his long cock in the general direction of the crab. His cock swung along with his body, but since it wasn’t any longer than his legs, it swung much too high to get anywhere near the crab.
Alice felt Charlie’s stomach tighten under her hands.
“That tickles,” Charlie said.
She dropped him, putting his feet back on the ground. Boy, he’s heavy! She watched to see how the others were doing it. She noticed they had their men-mallets bend over onto their hands and feet making an upside-down V with their bodies. From their hips, the point on the V, hung their cocks close enough to the ground to swing at the crabs. The other players swung the cocks to hit the crab balls.
Alice thought it was silly, and maybe a little sexy, especially if she was going to touch Charlie’s cock.
She guided Charlie to bend over. His knees were straight, his hands on the grass. His dick swung free. She adjusted his body close enough to the crab, and positioned herself behind him, bent over him. She wrapped her arms around him to get both hands on his length. Heat surged between her legs, making her feel a little giddy. She paused.
Would she ever get her hands on a cock this long again? She felt its heat, its softness in her hands. She stroked his dick.
'Hey, that tickles,' Charlie said in a sweet voice. Alice stopped stroking.
Time to play croquet. She lifted his dick back, and swung it against her ball. No good. His soft cock just dragged over the crab.
Alice looked around again to see how the others did it. Then she noticed they were stroking the cock first to get it hard, then they swung it against their ball. Her instincts had been correct.
She noticed their rhythm. Stroke, stroke, stroke, swing. Stroke, stroke, stroke, swing.
Alice grabbed hold of his cock again and stroked it. She slid her hands down and up, down and up. She felt like she was running her hands along a warm rope. But it wasn’t doing much. His cock just wasn’t getting stiff enough to function as a mallet.
She thought for a moment. She knew what to do!
“My hands are like vibrating pads,” Alice said.
That did it! Alice’s fingers webbed together and her hands buzzed. As she guided her now transformed hands along the underside of Charlie’s shaft, Charlie moaned. His cock hardened into a fine staff. She felt her heart quicken.
Now to swing it.
“My hands are just like they normally are,” Alice said.
Her fingers separated. She grabbed hold of Charlie, ready to swing. But the ball had walked several inches away.
Alice repositioned Charlie to the ball. Standing behind him, she bent over his butt and back, pressed herself against him to reach his cock again. She quickly set out to pump him to his full length. With her hands back on his hard, hot tool, she found it didn’t take much to get him back to full length. He didn’t need vibrating pads now.
Charlie moaned louder. “It’s never felt this good before.”
“Yeah?” Alice said. “You like that?”
