hangd up in th Pickchr Plase calld the Multiplecks.
Bak then th’Irth was fuller. More warm. More cleen. Peepul culd fly arownd in metal rumez with wings an go here an there. Over to Yurup an Japan an Afrika. An other playcis that uzed to exist. Thay culd go an cum back like eezy peezy wuts the problim? Thay culd go on big ships ovir the water. Thay culd liv in Parisfrants or in Lundininglind or in Romittly. Thay dint think nuthin uv it, thay just livd like you an me. Well bettr then you an me becaws that wuz befor th’Irthsore happin.
The Big Ant says OK OK I got to rite abowt th’Irthsore. Thass my hole point. Th’Irthsore that chaynjd the wirld. That made Cold Time.
Back wen my parints wer yung an just chirchd, thay was a mom an a dad too, just like in sum of them pickshrs, th’Irth it wuz cleen and all ficksed up. Cars slid up and forth the streets. Sinners culd tawk on littl metel cards with numbrs on them. Thru th’air I meen, like if you had a frend in Berlinjerminy or Athnsgrese you just like sed sum numbrs an they sed sum numbrs back an it was like, Hi, how ar you, how is it over there in Parisfrantz or Kieroejipt. Evrybuddy did it all the time like it wuz nuthing spexial. Speshul. Spejal. Nuthing unyoujewel.
Note to Commity: This is Big Ant again an you see a brake here in the story because Hapless Joey smashed his pencil in distress. He spells better than most but that dont mean nothing to him. He wants to get it write. Thats what marks him owt for spexhul notice. I told him stop with bragging all those cities, theys all gone and you do yourself no favors reminding the Commity so he stopps. But he likes geogriphy and maps as you can see so planely. He started writing agin a few days later. Its with a color pencil but its still his wirk. He is good dont you agree.
I dont member enny uv this. Th’Irth before Coldtime. Its mor like a dreem sumbuddy have. But Grandid an Big Ant member fine an others to. Two. Too.
Grandid uze to go to liberry, an it uze to be free. Also opin. He culd reed most enything he wantd to. He unnerstands sum uv wat happind. He told me an now I im telling yu. Ywo. Yoo
Damm damm damm. I hate spelling its not lawful.
OK OK. I im bettr now.
Here is wat happind. Back then th’Irth wuz pirfect an men had jobs an cash and womin had soft yello hair an didnt need so many cotes. Thay culdn feel the cold I gess. It wuz a time of heros an moving stars on th’Irth. Grandid livd then so did Big Ant. So did my parints. Th’Irth wen I git born wuz still paradize only nobuddy new it wuz.
With awl the big masheens an stuff life wuz eezy an warm an lots uv food. An pepul culd go arownd the wirld to plases like Nirobiafrika. An China an Oztrailya.
The peepul all think thay is smartr than God. Thay make a mashine in the mowntens betwene France an Switzrland. It is big it is ugly it is powrfull. It makes the motes in God’s eye go fastr an fastr in a big tunnl a hunderd miles long. A sircul tunnl, rownd an rownd. Peepul calld Siontists thay study the spede uv the parts. The dust uv the wirld. The smithireens uv the planet. The motes uv God’s eye. Wow thay say wow, wow! wow! We make the crums an bits uv the wirld run fastr.
Wy du thay do this yu ask. Its a gud kwestchun. I do not no the anser.
Then wun day God gits mad at peepul playing with th’Irth. The peepul spin the motes so fast rownd an rownd thay meet themselvs coming the othr way. God lets it happn. God lets the durt in the tunnl hit itself. Hard. Thass wat peepul now think. I wuz only a baby but Grandid says he woke up during th’Irthsore an the hole morning was braking up lik threds on the edj uv a carpit.
It wuz 6 in the morning an he culd see me in my crib in the morning lite. My hands wir trying to clap but thay culdnt. Evrything in the wirld wuz pulling to wun side. Like static lectrisity back wen thay had lectrisity. My baby hand an the crib an the winder wir awl pulling. Brok up into eech othr. Lik meltd mud an snow an crud draggd awl wun way by a stick with fingrs. Grandids legs an the sheets wir awl pulling like taffy an he culdnt moove to git me. It stayd lik that for an owr or so then it poold back to normil.
But it wuz not the same normil. Maybe an owr or maybe time got pulld too.
Thay sed on the streets that the big tunnl cullapsd. Maebe it made a nu kind uv dust that dint like th’Irth. Or maebe it made a tiny mowth in th’Irth that wuz hungry an wantd to eet th’Irth. Or it wuz maebe spots uv Nothing an it dissolvd th’Irth as far as it culd. But Nothing cant exist by itself or nobuddy wuld notiss it, says the Chirch Man. Nothing ate the haff of th’Irth that wuz on that side. Wen it finishd haff it tride to go on but th othr haff of Nothing is Sumthing. It was ar haff of th’Irth so we stayd Sumthing.
The othr haff the dark haff is Nothing. No wun unnerstands wut is in it Nothing I gess. Haff a planit uv Sumthing, haff a planit uv Nothing. Pirfect balans.
Just darck. Darck Nothing.
Why is that I wunder.
OK OK. The end.
Note to Commity: Now you see what I am trying to show you. Hapless Joey is a good boy and he knows a lot. This is the best pece of riting I seen in four or five years. I think you shuld also know that his parents were in Moscow or someplace when the SuperCollider collapsed. Like half the wirld, they never been hird from again.
It is my belief he deserve the ham. I culd come get it just give the say-so.
Dear Big Aunt,
The Committee has reviewed the writing of Hapless Joey and agrees with you that he is special material. Will you bring him to Central next week, any day you like, and we will train him up to be a missile into the Dark Edge. We have only sent ten or twelve people in ten years, and one day one of them will come back and tell us what they found there. Hapless Joey may be the lucky one. His name is the opposite of lucky, and something is the opposite of nothing. Don’t tell Hapless Joey what he has won. He may need to grow up more to appreciate the honor. We don’t want him to run away.
You may keep the ham for yourself after you give him up.
RUST WITH WINGS
by Steven Gould
JEREMY LAY FLAT ON HIS STOMACH IN THE BACKYARD GRASS, watching three bugs crawl across a flattened soda can. They were larger than June bugs, with that beetle shape. One was copper colored, one was silver, and one rusty. Every so often their wing cases would lift slightly and reveal iridescent crystal blue beneath. The rusty one was almost twice as long as the others, with extra legs and a junction point where the new head would be after it split. Everywhere the bugs crawled, holes appeared in the metal.
Jeremy’s dad rounded the corner and said, “Get your butt in the car right now. We’re outta here!”
Jeremy scrambled up, brushing off his jeans. Ever since the power had gone out three days before, Dad’s temper had gone from easygoing to better-watch-out, and Jeremy wasn’t going to do anything that might trigger it.
When they rounded the house, Mom and Laurie were putting laundry baskets full of clothes into the trunk. Laurie was saying, “But why can’t I go over to Sarah’s instead? You said I could last week!”
Dad and Mom exchanged glances. Dad’s eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth, and Mom said quickly, “You’re going to have to trust me on this one, honey. Sometimes plans change.”
Dad shut his mouth and moved to the driver’s door. He muttered, “We should’ve
Jeremy got in the back and tried to look up through the rear window. He couldn’t tell what Dad had noticed, but it was hard to see ’cause Dad peeled out of the driveway and he was thrown across the seat and into Laurie.
