Enclave

She smiled. “For Stepan’s son … anything.”

Encouraged and plainly pleased, he went on, “We need to sleep and then we’d like to look at his old maps, if it’s all right.”

“I have them boxed up. I don’t have much room, I’m afraid, but you’re welcome to my bed. They can bed down on the floor here.” To us, she added, “You have blankets?” Her courtesy was false; it tasted like bad meat.

She didn’t want Tegan or me sleeping on her floor or under her roof. Fade didn’t seem to notice. He followed her into the other room, where they spoke in low voices. She told him how lonely she’d been. In the silence that followed, I knew he was hugging her and they were sharing childhood memories.

Since Tegan didn’t have her own blanket, she had to share mine. That meant lying close and wrapping up together. I didn’t mind. It reminded me of sharing space in the brat dorm. It cured some of my homesickness.

“I don’t like her,” Tegan whispered. “Why are we here?”

I explained what the library was and why we wanted to go there. She listened with a frown building between her brows. When I finished, she asked, “Does it matter why anything happened? I thought you were leaving and going north. That’s what I want — out of this place.”

“We are,” I said. “But we want to find answers first. I thought if we knew what happened, we might be able to prepare better for what’s out there.”

“That makes sense,” she acknowledged.

I lay back and gazed at the gray ceiling. “I don’t know anything about this world. Well, nothing but what Fade tells me. And sometimes he doesn’t seem sure either because he’s spent years underground.”

“I might be able to answer some questions,” she said.

After thinking a bit, I settled on, “Your mom wasn’t a ganger?”

“No. She and my dad were part of a small group that managed to stay hidden. It wasn’t just us, at first. But people got sick. My dad died first. My mom was the last to go. And then it was only me.”

Fade said his dad got sick too. A common thread?

“There was a disease in the enclave, a long time ago. The elders told us about a time when nearly everybody died of it. Do you think it was the same thing?”

Tegan shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Do you know why you didn’t get it?”

“I wish I did. When the Wolves had me, I asked myself why I didn’t die too.”

Her mind surprised me. In the enclave, I’d never questioned why some brats lived and some died. There seemed no pattern to it. Sometimes brats I thought were small or frail, like Twist, would wind up thriving. Sometimes a strong, hardy one died in his sleep. The world made no sense at all.

“Maybe it was to make you stronger,” I suggested.

“It did.” She rolled on her side to face me, her eyes angry. “That’s why I’ll be watching that girl. I won’t give anyone a chance to hurt me again.”

I was glad she’d said it. Now I didn’t have to wrestle with the uncomfortable suspicion that I didn’t like Pearl simply because she knew more about Fade than I did. We listened to them talking until Tegan fell asleep. Rest wouldn’t come for me, though. I kept waiting for something — a bad something — and expectancy coiled me tight.

Eventually, I slept. I dreamed of Stone and Thimble. When I woke, I wondered what they were doing, whether they missed me at all or if they still nursed righteous indignation about my exile. I missed them, regardless. They had been my best friends from the first.

That morning, I also discovered we’d been right to dislike Pearl. Her voice carried from the other room; I’m sure she didn’t know I was awake.

“You can stay as long as you like, of course, for old time’s sake. But I don’t have enough food to provide for your friends. I’m sorry.”

Fade said, “Don’t worry, we won’t be long. I just need to finish looking over these maps.”

So he was already working on finding the library. Good. I started to sit up, and then froze at her next words.

“I wish you wouldn’t go,” Pearl said softly. “I’ve thought of you often. I know your father wouldn’t want you to leave me alone.”

There was something off about her, something wrong, and not just because she was trying to talk him into abandoning me. I thought being by herself might’ve driven her crazy. I didn’t like the way she looked at Fade.

His tone was gentle, almost conciliatory. “You’ve been fine all these years. Deuce can’t make it without me.”

I set my jaw. I didn’t want him sticking with me out of pity. With Tegan’s knowledge of the surface, and my ability to fight, we’d probably be fine. I almost said so, but then I’d have to admit I was pretending to be asleep so I could listen to them.

“Safe doesn’t mean fine. I’m lonely, Semyon.”

“Don’t call me that,” he said. “He died in the dark. And maybe what I meant when I said that about Deuce is I don’t want to do without her.”

Oh. My heart made that funny little turn again, as if I were frightened, but it was better and warmer than that.

“I see.” Her voice went sharp and hard, covering hurt or some darker emotion. “Then whenever you’re ready to go.”

“I’m set. Thanks for your hospitality and the use of your father’s maps.”

I sat up then and nudged Tegan. Her hair tumbled into her face, making her look younger than she had before, too young to have suffered what she had with the gangers. Maybe she’d never be Stone or Thimble, but I already knew we would be close friends.

“I think we’ve outstayed our welcome,” I muttered.

She assessed me and then whispered, “Did you hear him?”

Mutely I nodded, and her smile made me feel both pleased and ridiculous. It shouldn’t matter that he’d picked me, but … it did. From her expression, she knew it. I wondered that she could trust us, even a little bit. Maybe, like Jengu, she didn’t trust anyone completely, but we were better than anything she’d known since her family died.

By the time he came out of the back room, Tegan and I were ready to go. We both mouthed the right words to Pearl, but she just wanted us gone. I’m sure she felt rejected by Fade, but she hadn’t spent long nights in the tunnels with him, or guarded his back when Freaks were determined to eat him. All she had to offer were maps, and he didn’t need those forever. Apparently, he did need me. I quietly savored the feeling.

Outside, the night was chilly. My breath puffed from between my lips and I blew it out several times to make sure it wasn’t a coincidence. The shirt I wore had an extra bit of fabric at the back so I tugged it up and was pleased to find it covered my head. Tegan did the same, as we wore matching clothes, just in different colors.

Fade guided the way back toward the water. I heard it and smelled it before I saw it. Instead of going down toward the wider body, he turned toward a narrow channel that angled into the land itself.

He read the puzzlement in my face and explained, “If we follow the river, it’ll take us nearly all the way there.”

Another new word. River. I stored it away. “You memorized where the library should be?”

“If you’re ready, we’ll go find it.”

“And maybe some answers,” Tegan added.

Together, we set out on the next leg of our journey.

Enlightenment