'She sounds delightful, too.'
'She's not boring, that's for sure.'
'And will she ever be Courtney Love?'
'Nah,' Kid said. 'That's the thing. It's like I told you about the Entertainer. She lives with too many secrets. Can't tell people what she's done, can't tell people what she does. Can't tell herself, either. And definitely can't tell herself what she's going to be. That's why she's a Slash. Samsonite and the Murderess, too. The Mistake. Even the Mortician. She's better off than the others in a lot of ways but she's definitely a Slash. It's the only way to pretend you're not going to end up the way you know you're going to end up. In my world, Slashes never get to be what they really want.'
'You think your world is so different from mine?' Jack asked quietly.
'Very different.' Kid smiled now, a sad and knowing smile. 'In my world, we're all Slashes.'
– '-'-'KID HAD JACK concentrating on his abs this session, a whole series of crunches.
'I've been thinking about what you said,' Jack managed as he curled himself up and back. 'About the Team.'
'Which part?'
'All of it. What I want to know is, is it satisfying?'
'It's different, Jack. It's not your style. It's not something you ever could have done. But for me, it's the best I'm going to get. And at least it's fun.'
'You ever been in love, Kid? As compared to being in lust?'
Kid stayed silent a long time. Long enough that Jack thought he wasn't going to answer. Possibly hadn't even heard him.
'I said, have you ever-'
'Yeah,' Kid said very slowly. 'I've been in love.' He went a long time again before speaking, and then added, 'The Destination.'
'Good nickname.'
Kid smiled sadly. 'Came from something I read somewhere. In a magazine. It said Topeka's a town, Cleveland's a city, but Rome's a destination.'
'Nice.'
'She was a destination, too. Something to wish for. Something to aspire to.'
'What happened to her?'
Kid coughed into his fist, then took a deep breath. The words he spoke were obviously painful for him. 'She ended it.'
Jack managed to twist himself so his right elbow touched the outside of his left knee. 'Almost unimaginable.'
'Yeah, well. She did.'
'For another man?'
'I never asked,' Kid said. 'Didn't matter to me why. It only mattered that it was over.'
'Come on. You weren't curious? You didn't even want a chance to convince her?'
'I knew what was going on. It was her decision to make and once she made it…' Kid shrugged. 'She was out of my league, really. It was down in Maryland and the thing is, she had a real life without me. The other members of the Team, they kind of need me. For all different reasons – to help them do something, to help them escape something, give them some security – but the Destination… it was different. She thought she needed me but then she realized she didn't and I knew it and that's why I didn't have to ask.'
'Rome's not the only destination, you know.'
'Well,' Kid said, 'I don't think I have much chance of going to Paris or London or Vienna. That's the thing about a Slash. We usually know where we want to go, we just don't have any way of getting there.'
As Jack finished his set and fell back onto the slant board, breathing hard, Kid said, 'They all live on the edge. What do you think that says about me?'
'I'm sorry,' Jack said. 'I wasn't paying attention. I'm too busy cramping and practically vomiting. Who are we talking about now?'
'The Team. What do you think it means that they're all kind of' – he watched Jack lurch forward, beginning his next set – 'twisted?'
'It means you have shitty taste in women' was the response.
'No. They're all great. Really. They're all interesting and weird and amazing-looking. But they all have these flaws. They're all…' He thought for a moment, trying to come up with the right word. It didn't take him long. 'Dangerous' is what he came up with. 'They're all dangerous.'
'Dangerous, how?' When Kid didn't answer immediately, Jack asked, 'What kind of flaws?'
'It's hard for me to describe. Well, Samsonite's easy; she's just way too crazy. She's a druggie. Drinks too much. Pretty paranoid, pretty generally wacko. I met her at a club, an after-hours place. She was working there, still does, and I started talking to her and she says, 'Can I ask you a question?' I go, 'Sure,' and she says, 'I got a bet with a friend. A hundred bucks. I said that Mount Rushmore was a natural rock formation and she says it's a sculpture.' So I broke it to her that it wasn't purely an act of nature that Abe and the boys are up on the cliff there in perfect detail and she can't believe it. First she gets furious, thinks I'm lying. Then she decides I'm in on it with her friend, and that I'm splitting the money. Finally, I convince her I don't even know who her friend is, I don't even know who she is, and I'm telling her the truth. So what does she do? She asks if she can borrow a hundred bucks so she can pay off the bet.'
'Kid, I don't want to put down your very fine circle of friends, but what's the attraction for you to someone who thinks Mount Rushmore is a natural rock formation?'
'You have to see her, Jack.'
'So it's just physical?'
'Just?' Kid shook his head slowly. 'No. That doesn't begin to describe it. I mean, yeah, sure, it's very physical, with Samsonite it's kind of scarily physical, but these women – all of them – they're almost perfect, I mean, really perfect physical specimens. And they're working all the time to get themselves even closer to perfect.'
'As long as it's not superficial.'
'Give me some slack here. It's not totally superficial. It's not only their looks. They're sensual. They're hungry. They want things – I don't know how else to describe it – and their want is just overpowering. At least to me it is.' Kid laughed, an attempt to brush away his sudden seriousness. 'It's another difference between our worlds, Jack. You live in a kind of rational one, where thinking and responsibility and work are what count. Me, I'm surrounded by all these people who'll do anything to make themselves beautiful or get rich or-'
'Or just get whatever it is they want.' When Kid nodded, Jack said, 'I think I met one of those. Down in Charlottesville.'
'Yeah,' Kid answered. 'I guess maybe you did.'
Jack finished his third set of crunches and lay still on the board, not even having the energy to speak for a long while. When Kid asked, 'You want to try a fourth set? Really go for the burn?' Jack waved him away and Kid must have seen the look in his eye because for once he didn't press him. He stepped back and let Jack do his best to recuperate.
Within seconds, Jack forced himself to sit up. Rubbing out the cramp that now gripped his stomach, he turned to Kid and said, 'These people… your Slashes… your Team… doing anything to get what they want… is that what makes them dangerous?'
Kid thought for a moment. 'No,' he said. 'What makes the Team so dangerous is what they do when they don't get what they want.'
NINETEEN
