expanding and uncoiling in the water’s warm comfort. He took a small penknife from his pant’s pocket and jabbed his middle finger. Small droplets of blood welled from the wound and he let them fall into the warm tap water. A few drops were all it needed.
The thing in the sink squirmed and writhed. He took off his shirt. Took a deep breath. Looked at himself in the mirror.
He picked the thing up from the sink and carried it to his mother’s room. He felt it warm and fleshy in his hands, felt it pulsing urgently against his fingertips. His belly tingled.
He pushed open the door. Catherine sat up in bed, waiting for him. She wore a blue terry-cloth robe. Green towels were spread out beneath her on the mattress and thin white sheets were pulled up to her waist. Fat pillows supported her frail back.
“Where’s Elaine?” she asked.
“She’s sleeping.”
“But Rudy, she has to see. She has to know.”
“I can’t.”
“My God, Rudy, you have to. For the sake of your baby.”
“How do we know this one won’t be different?”
“Has it ever been?” Catherine smiled tenderly. “This is the way it’s always been. It’s the way our lineage works. You know that.”
Rudy stood mutely in the doorway, the snake-like coil squirming in his hands for attention.
“Go get her,” Catherine said. “Bring her up here. We’ll make it as easy for her as we possibly can.”
Rudy refilled the bathroom sink and set the fleshy cord in the fresh warm water where it slowly writhed and coiled in upon itself. Rudy stared at it a moment. When he reached down and stroked it, it responded eagerly to his touch. His belly button itched. He scratched at it lightly with his other hand. It was time to wake Elaine. Things would be different for her from now on.
Downstairs in the guest room, he gently shook her awake.
“What is it?”
Rudy tried to keep his voice from quaking. “Get up, dear.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. There’s something I have to show you.”
Elaine’s voice was groggy, and her eyes squinted at Rudy in the dim light. “Can’t it wait until morning?”
“No,” Rudy said, tugging at her arm, the itch in his belly growing. “You have to get up now.”
He led her upstairs to Catherine’s room, where a blue nightlight illuminated the walls with a soft, gentle glow.
Catherine smiled weakly. “Elaine. I think you better sit down.”
Elaine shook her head. “What’s going on?”
“Please. Sit.”
Elaine backed up to a small love seat perched in the corner and slowly sat down.
Rudy touched her shoulder. “Trust us — this is going to seem weird, but you’ll appreciate it in time. You’ll come to realize how special and amazing it is.”
Elaine reached out for his hand. Now her voice shook. “Can’t you tell me what’s going on?”
“It’s best to show you,” Catherine said. “Don’t be afraid, dear.”
Rudy tugged his hand out from Elaine’s grip and went back to the bathroom, where he lifted the dripping cord from the sink. The itch in his belly instantly grew, a burning sensation spreading slowly out from his navel as he walked quickly back to his mother’s room.
When Catherine saw the thing he held, she smiled and held her hand out for it. “I know it’s not going to be easy for you to watch,” she said to Elaine. “But it’s the most beautiful thing. It’s pure love.”
The burning in his belly was intense. Rudy grabbed his pocketknife from the top of the dresser and, without any inhibition, jabbed it into his navel. Before too much blood spilled, he placed one end of the cord against the wound. It attached itself eagerly with a squishy, suction sound.
As he handed the other end to his mother, he grew light-headed.
Elaine screamed.
But it was too late to allay her fears, too late to hold her hand and convince her of the beauty she was about to witness.
Catherine spread her knees slightly apart and let go of her end of the cord. It burrowed between her legs. Her eyes fluttered.
Rudy crawled into the bed with her. Felt the old familiar feeling of the umbilical cord tug at his belly. He relaxed. It was best not to resist.
It didn’t hurt as much that way.
He no longer heard Elaine’s screams as he re-entered his mother’s waiting womb.
It was amazing the peace inside. Amazing the warmth and love he felt despite the contortions his body made, despite the incredible stretching Catherine’s body endured to accommodate him in her belly. But like every year on the anniversary of his birth, he was able to curl into a fetal position. He felt himself flowing back into his mother through the ancient umbilical cord, nourishing her, giving her back the much-needed vitality she had lost since the last time he was inside of her. Part of him knew Elaine was having a hard time of this out in the cold, harsh world, but this was a reality she had to accept if she wanted to live much longer after she gave birth to their new child.
He listened to his mother’s voice warbling through the red fluids and layers of tissue.
“Come here and hold my hand,” she said. “Please, Elaine. Don’t be afraid.” Her voice was a soothing coo. “Touch.”
And Rudy felt Elaine’s touch on the side of his face through the layers of his mother’s flesh.
“He recognizes you,” his mother said.
“Rudy?” It was Elaine’s voice.
“Yes, dear,” Catherine said. “Isn’t it wonderful? He keeps me young.”
And then Elaine’s hand no longer caressed him. He felt the vibrations in the floorboards as she took a step back. Barely heard her now, as she said, “My God.”
Rudy stuck his thumb in his mouth. Rocked himself slightly back and forth in total bliss for the next twenty minutes until he felt a familiar set of rumblings.
Rebirth.
Both his shoulders dislocated as he emerged to the sounds of both Catherine and Elaine screaming, Catherine in pain, Elaine in terror. He felt a warm slosh of blood all around him as he grabbed at air, feeling as if he tore his mother in two. But this was the way it always was. The way it always would be.
He emerged covered in blood, gasping for air. As he popped his shoulders back in place and wiped the fluid from his eyes, he saw Elaine sitting on the floor, her eyes wide, breathing quick and pained. He spat blood from his mouth. Looked at Catherine. Her eyes were closed to slits, but she still breathed, and as he watched her, a smile enlivened her features. She already looked years younger. She nodded.
Rudy found the scissors somewhere among the blood soaked towels and cut the umbilical cord from his belly, then reached between Catherine’s legs and cut it from her, also. He wadded up a clean towel and placed it at the entry to her womb to stop the still flowing blood.
He turned once again to Elaine.
He expected her to be in shock, expected her to accept this after much contemplation and solitude. But he didn’t expect her to stand up. Didn’t expect the word
All Rudy could do was run screaming and naked and covered with blood out into the cold night air, the blood steaming as it froze into a brittle shell around his body. And when the police finally found him, he told them it was his fault. He’d been the one to carve up his mother. He’d been the one to plunge the scissors into her and open her up like a bag of writhing snakes.
