You Had Me at Halo

have forgotten all of this. Tonight she not only wanted to take her mind off her own problems but she wanted to know what was wrong with Vince Murphy.

There was nothing else in there apart from some neatly organized stationery and an alarm clock so she turned her attention to the closet and decided it warranted further investigation.

She stood on a chair and peered in. There was a pile of plain white T-shirts and next to them was a pile of black T-shirts. Vince had the fashion sense of Simon Cowell. Holly pushed them aside and thrust her hand towards the back. Bingo.

Her fingers clutched around a large cardboard folder, which she dragged out and raced back to the bed to study.

At first not a lot of it made sense. It was obviously medical information in the form of graphs. There were piles of them and Holly frowned as she turned over page after page. It looked serious.

Vince. What’s wrong with you?

She kept paging through until she finally came across a photocopy from a textbook, which meant that she might be vaguely able to understand it.

Long QT Syndrome.

What on earth was that? Holly scanned the text (helpfully highlighted with a pink marker), which explained that it was some sort of wonky heart rhythm thing. She flicked back through the other files. The strange graphs seemed to date back to at least five years. So Vince Murphy had known about this Long QT thing since he was seventeen.

Then she turned back to the article. It could cause fainting, prevent you from playing sports, and in some instances Long QT Syndrome could cause sudden death.

The purple lights.

Holly’s throat tightened as a sickening sensation lodged in her stomach. She shut her eyes but all she could see was the small bright lights that had been dancing around Vince’s head like fireflies on the day of her funeral. What if Dr. Hill hadn’t made a mistake after all? What if instead of fainting, Vince had been dying. Or nearly dying, and for whatever reason he had lived through it? Perhaps the shock of her landing in his body had jump-started his heart back into life?

If Vince had nearly died, then why didn’t he say something? Anything?

Why did he let her rant on and on about her problems as if he didn’t have a care in the world?

He must have been so surprised when he’d come around from his near death experience to find that she was in his body, but did he complain? Well, okay, so perhaps he wasn’t exactly a saint in the complaining department, but overall he had been pretty amazing.

“Vince. Did you really walk around for the last five years knowing you might die at any time? How did you manage to keep this big, terrible thing that was happening to you, a secret from everyone?”

Again there was no answer but Holly didn’t really mind as she stared at the ceiling in the darkened room. From outside the window she could hear the distant wail of an ambulance but she ignored it.

Holly felt a chill go through her body and she shivered. “You know, Vince,” she said in a hoarse voice. “You’re not the only one who has a secret.”

She lifted up her arms and stared at the smooth skin of his wrist. “You’re so much braver than me. You wear your secrets on the inside, but I was too chicken to do that. If you could see my real arm, you would know what I mean. There are still faint scars from where I cut myself.”

Holly could feel the tears trickling down the side of her face as she sat still on the bed. “The ones down on my wrist are the worst. Apparently if my stepmother hadn’t found me when she did, I would’ve been dead in an hour. I wonder how she felt having to see me like that? So soon after my dad had died.”

An almost hysterical sob escaped from her lips. “I was off for over a week and I know everyone was talking about it; about who would be so stupid as to let the razor slip and almost kill themselves?

“But you see, all the whispers were true. It wasn’t an accident.” Holly felt strangely calm as she spoke. “I told them all it was, but it wasn’t. That night I just didn’t see the point of living without my dad. So I did it. It was easy you know—t e actual cutting—and for a minute I was happy, but then I got to the hospital and I saw him. My dad.”

She started to laugh as she tucked her legs in front of her and wrapped her arms around them. “It’s not really funny, is it? But the thing is now I’m dead I know how hard it was for him to visit me. Story of my life really—finding things out too late.”

Suddenly Holly stopped laughing. “But he couldn’t hide it, Vince. He couldn’t hide how disappointed he was in me. You see he had died after a long, painful battle with cancer and he had fought it every step of the way. He was so brave and dignified. And what did I do? Get a razor and let the life seep out of me with two easy strokes. That’s why, when I survived, I was too embarrassed to tell the truth. Plus, I was grateful to be given another chance. To prove to my dad I wasn’t a quitter.”

Holly realized her eyes were shut and she opened them up and looked around the room in shock. “That’s why I wanted to see him so bad up in heaven. To tell him it was an accident and that for the last six years I’ve worked my butt off. I guess that’s not going happen.” Holly sniffed. “I don’t even know why I’ve told you…well, not that you’re here, but I’m pretending you are. Actually, that’s another thing I’ve discovered about you, Vincent Ryan Murphy. You’re a great listener.”

“Thanks,” Vince said in his trademark drawl, which caused Holly to fall off the bed in shock.

Unbelievable.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

“Hey,” Vince complained. “Don’t stand up so quickly. It’s making me dizzy. I’ve been knocked out remember.”

“I thought you were still knocked out.” Holly tried to mask her mortification as she reluctantly sat back down again. “How much did you hear?”

“Well, you did mention how brave and strong I was.”

“Oh, God,” Holly groaned. “I was only saying that stuff because I didn’t think you were awake.”

“You said I was a good listener,” Vince protested.

“I was being rhetorical.” Holly gritted her teeth; an action that Vince immediately reversed.

“Well, I thought it was nice. Besides, since you’ve found out all of my secrets, it’s only right I know a few of yours. Is that why you told me?”

“Maybe,” she admitted. That and the fact that after tomorrow Holly wouldn’t remember them herself and it sort seemed wrong to just let Dr. Hill wipe them away. Perhaps it was like a last confession?

She vaguely remembered a long ago Sunday school lesson where the vicar’s wife talked about the dark night of the soul. Well, Holly was guessing she’d had one of them. Though did it count if the body was dead? Also, she had the feeling the person was meant to come out the other end of the experience feeling cleansed and pure, but that wasn’t quite going to happen either. Holly was going to come out of this without a clue what her middle name was, let alone whether she liked chocolate (yes), The OC (very much) or the Backstreet Boys (as if).

“Hey.” Vince groaned and Holly realized he was looking down at his knuckles. “Don’t tell me I’ve gone from being a womanizer and a criminal to now being a thug?”

Holly studied Vince’s hand. Boy, Todd’s face had really made a dent and the three middle knuckles were now red, raw, and throbbing. She hadn’t even noticed, or if she had, she’d probably found the pain comforting compared to how she was feeling on the inside.

“So I guess you’d better fill me in on what’s happened since I’ve been gone.”

Since she’d already told him her darkest secrets, it seemed petty to try and keep him out of the loop. “The short version is that Todd and Rochelle Jackson have been having an affair behind my back and after he was rather rude to me, I punched him.”

Holly could feel Vince biting down on his lip to stop from laughing. “I see,” he said in a constrained voice. “You hit Todd.”

“In the face,” Holly clarified.