You Had Me at Halo

She was getting punished after all.

“I know it’s not everyone’s idea of a dream job,” he admitted, obviously reading the disappointment on her face. “But if you want to see your parents sooner, it might be worth considering.”

“You’re right,” she said with a sigh. “Tell me the worst.”

“The thing is you have to live on earth…”

“What?”

What?

“I told you it wasn’t ideal. Especially since you’ve only just been purged. Most people can’t even bear the thought of losing their celestial happiness and being turned back into a corporeal body again. All the messy emotions, the pollution, the politics. But the machine has calculated you have an eighty-five percent chance of adapting to the transition. The highest percentage ever recorded is eighty-seven percent, so you can imagine why my bosses were so keen for me to discuss this with you.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Holly narrowed her eyes and stared at him. “Are you making fun of me?”

“Of course not.” The doctor looked confused. “Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know, perhaps the same reason you sent me back to earth in a guy’s body. When the guy was still in it.”

He looked hurt. “I thought we’d moved on from that?”

“We have, but I’m not sure why else you are acting like this is a horrible job.”

Dr. Hill ran his chubby fingers through a red curl and studied her face. “You mean the idea doesn’t repulse you?”

Oh now she understood. It was a trick. “I can’t believe you almost got me,” she groaned. “There’s a catch, isn’t there? I can only go back as…a tree…oh no, wait…a horse. Well, I’m not falling for that one again.”

“Of course not.” Dr. Hill looked offended. “Your main duties as a Mole is to go back to earth and live a normal life, while keeping us updated on certain things.”

“What sort of things? I mean I’m not that crash hot with politics, and I don’t think I’d be able to break a secret code if it was spelt out to me in a Cosmo magazine, so I’m not quite sure what I could do?”

Dr. Hill smiled. “The Company gathers all sorts of intelligence. Anything from eating trends, whether family values are changing through to the latest fashion collections.”

“And I can go back as Holly Evans, aged twenty-two years old and living at thirty-four Windsor Street,” Holly double-checked, still not quite able to take it all in.

“That’s right.” He didn’t seem to notice her incredulity. “

“So you’re seriously giving me the chance to go back and live a normal life, without death?”

“Well of course you won’t die when you’re already dead. But there will be some point when you move onto another position in The Company, or even another level. But in earth years it covers more than a natural life span.”

“I’ll take it,” Holly blurted out.

Dr. Hill widened his eyes in surprise. “Generally people like to spend some time thinking it over or at least reading the rulebook. Then there is the question of your parents. Even on the accelerated program, you do realize it will be quite some time before you can see them.”

“The whole time I was down there I was determined to clear my name so that my dad didn’t think I’d tried to commit suicide again. I wanted him to know how hard I had been working to make amends. Of course, I should’ve realized that I didn’t really need to tell him any of that stuff. He already knows, doesn’t he?”

“So proud.” Dr. Hill sniffed as he fanned his face with his hands. “You really are my star pupil and yes you’re right. Your father knows exactly what kind of person you are Holly, and I think that you finally do as well.”

Holly grinned for a minute as she clutched her photograph. “Yeah, I think I do…and now, about this new job of mine. Send me back already.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

The scalding coffee burnt her tongue as she forced herself to swallow it. Well, wasn’t that just typical of heaven. They were clever enough to send her back through time to the day she died, and even went to all the trouble of wiping everyone’s memory but her own. But did they think to stop Amy Jenkins from slipping her the motion sickness tablets? Er, no.

“Holly, should you really be drinking so much caffeine before the ball tonight? You don’t want to be jumping around like a grasshopper.” Her stepmother appeared from the lounge room, clutching a camera as she raised a questioning eyebrow at the three other empty cups sitting on the bench.

Holly took another gulp of steaming hot liquid. “I’ve just been feeling a little bit tired. I thought it might wake me up,” she improvised.

“I see. Well, it was nice of you to stop by before you go out. I wasn’t expecting it. You used to like spending all your time in the bath to get ready for a big night out.”

“I guess I just thought it’s been awhile since I’ve seen you. I should’ve come sooner.” Holly said as she tried to ignore the fact she did feel like a long soak in the tub, especially after the week she’d just had. Except until the pills were out of her system she had decided it was probably safest not to. Technically, Dr. Hill had said she couldn’t die again, but since she still hadn’t had a chance to read the rulebook yet, she wasn’t taking any chances with the fine print. Been there, done that, and almost got kissed by another girl to prove it.

“I know you’ve busy.” Her stepmother smiled. “You don’t have to explain. I hope you don’t mind if I take a photograph of you though, you look wonderful. Todd’s a lucky guy.”

Oh, that freak-faced waste of space loser.

She sucked down the last dregs of coffee and tried not to screw up her nose at the bitter aftertaste. “Actually, Todd and I broke up this afternoon.”

“Oh, Holly.” Her stepmother’s face was now a picture of genuine concern and again Holly wondered how she had failed to notice this for so long.

“It’s all right,” she quickly reassured her. “In fact I feel great about it.”

“But what happened?”

Well, let’s see. I died the day we were meant to get engaged only to find out he was cheating on me with a stupid tart named Rochelle Jackson while I was sitting at the next-door table in the body of a boy.

“Oh, you know, normal reasons, it’s no big deal.”

“That’s all right,” her stepmother said quickly. “You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want. I didn’t mean to pry.”

Gosh, had Holly really been so super-sensitive before that her stepmother couldn’t even ask a normal question without worrying about the reaction she would get?

Wait, don’t answer that.

“You’re not prying,” Holly said instead. “I guess I started to realize that I was with Todd for all the wrong reasons. Just because he has a perfect resume, it didn’t make him the right guy for me. I suppose I didn’t like who I was becoming when I was around him.”

Her stepmother put down the camera. “It takes a big person to admit that.”

“I sort of had it spelt out to me,” Holly reluctantly admitted.

“Well, all the same. You might not be able to change the past, but you can always try and make tomorrow better,” her stepmother said and for a moment Holly wondered if Dr. Hill had really managed to purge everyone’s memory because if she didn’t know better, she would say her stepmother was talking about more than just Holly’s disastrous relationship with Todd.

“Anyway…” Her stepmother gave her a shy smile. “Now’s hardly the time for this, you’ve got a big night ahead. Who knows, you might even meet the man of your dreams.”

I hope not, Holly wanted to retort since there was only one man she was