Coldheart Canyon: A Hollywood Ghost Story

'I'm a friend of Todd's. Are you the maitre d'?'

There was a barely-suppressed guffaw from one corner of the patio. Tammy glanced round to see a young man, almost as well dressed as the troll, composing his face.

'My name's Gary Eppstadt. I'm the Head of Paramount.'

'Oh,' Tammy said. 'So?'

'So, you obviously don't belong on this patio.'

'In point of fact, I think she did come with Todd,' said another onlooker, a woman in black, who was lounging against the railing as she sipped her cocktail.

Eppstadt looked Tammy up and down as though he were assessing a particularly unappealing heifer. The nakedness of his look so infuriated her that she simply shoved him out of her way and went to the railing.

'Get security,' Eppstadt said. 'I want this bitch thrown out or I shall lodge a charge of assault.'

'Oh, for God's sake, Gary,' the woman said, 'you're making a fool of yourself.'

Only now did Tammy recognize the woman's soft drawl. It was Faye Dunaway. Her weary glance fell momentarily on Tammy. 'She's not doing any harm,' Faye went on. 'Go inside and get yourself a drink.' Tammy glanced back over her shoulder. Eppstadt was obviously uncertain how to respond. He first threw a fiery glance at Dunaway, who promptly threw it straight back. Then he snapped at one of the three younger men doomed to be out here on the patio at the same time.

'Christian?'

'Yes, sir?'

'What did I just say?'

'That. . . you wanted security, sir?'

'And what are you doing?'

'Going to get them,' the man said, hurrying away.

'Christ!' Dunaway murmured. 'Didn't you hear what I said? She came in with Todd.'

'Well she doesn't belong in here,' Eppstadt said. 'With him or without him. She's up to no good. Mind you, so's he. He wasn't invited either. I should have security cart him away too.'

Tammy turned from her spot at the railings.

'What is your problem?' she said. 'This is nothing to do with you.'

'Where the fuck did you come from?' he asked. 'You look like a street-person. Is this Todd's idea of a joke? Bringing a street-person in here?'

'Who are you, honey?'

'My name's Tammy Lauper, and I'm a friend of Todd's.'

Eppstadt cut in here. 'Friend in the sense of—?'

'Friend as in friend,' Tammy said. 'Todd's been going through some hard times recently.'

'No? Do tell.'

'I'm afraid I'm not at liberty—'

'He's working you, honey,' Faye said. 'He knows all about the bad surgery. The whole town does.'

'As it happens I suggested the surgeon,' Eppstadt said. 'Bruce Burrows. He normally does first-rate work. Didn't he do some for you, Faye?'

'No,' said Ms. Dunaway. 'I don't need it yet.'

'My mistake.'

'But when I do I'll be sure to avoid him, judging by what he did to

Todd. That boy used to be damn-near perfect. The way Warren was perfect fifty years ago. I mean, they were uncanny, both of them.'

Tammy didn't bother to listen to the rest of the conversation. Instead she slipped down the creaking wooden steps that led off the patio and down onto the sand. The wash of light from the house lit the beach as far as the surf, which was breaking quite boisterously. The beach, as far as she could see, was immaculately clean. No doubt the residents hired somebody to vacuum every morning, so that nothing unpredictable—a whisky bottle, a stray condom, a dead fish—would disfigure the perfection of their stretch of coastline.

The only items she could see on the beach were two human figures.

If Todd and Maxine had realized that Tammy was there, they gave no sign of it. They simply kept up what they'd been doing for the last ten minutes: arguing.

The wind carried most of their words away, but every now and again a phrase would reach Tammy's ears. Maxine called him a 'waste of time' at one point, 'all ego and no brains' at another. He called her 'a talentless bitch' and 'a parasite.' She mentioned, by way of response to one of his assaults, that 'the whole town knows you got a face-lift, and that it went to hell.'

'I don't care,' Todd replied.

'Then you're even more of a fool than I thought you were,' Maxine yelled back, 'because that's your fucking reputation out the window.'

'Watch my lips,' Todd said, pointing to his mouth. 'I don't care.'

Several exchanges followed of which Tammy did not catch a single word. She continued to approach the pair slowly, expecting at any moment to be seen by one or the other. But they were too deeply involved in expressing their rage at one another to take notice of her.

The conversation had definitely changed direction, however, because now, when the wind brought fresh words in Tammy's direction, the subject of the Canyon was under debate. And Todd was shouting.

'You set me up! You knew something weird was going on up there and you set me up!'

It was time to make this into a three-way conversation, Tammy decided, stepping into Maxine's line of sight. But Maxine wasn't going to be distracted from the subject at hand by Tammy.

'All right,' she said to Todd. 'So the house has a history. Is that such a big deal?'

'I don't like messing with that stuff, Maxine. It's not safe.'

'By that 'stuff' you mean what exactly?'

Todd dropped his voice to a near-whisper, but Tammy was close enough to hear it. 'The Canyon's full of dead people.'

Maxine's response was to laugh; her laughter unfeigned. 'Are you high?'

'No.'

'Drunk?'

'No.' Todd wasn't about to be laughed off. 'I've seen them, Maxine. I've touched them.'

'Well then you should file a report to the National Enquirer, not come whining to me about it. As far as I'm concerned, this is our last conversation.'

'I want an explanation!'

'I'll give you one,' Maxine said: 'You're crazy'

'Jerry?'

Katya was at Jerry's side, her expression troubled. 'Is there a way down onto the beach along the side of the house?'

'I don't know. Maybe. Why?'

'Todd's down on the beach, being abused by that bitch of a manager.'

'I'm sure he can stand up for himself.'

'I just want to take him away, and I don't want to have to come back through the crowd when I bring him back.'

'Well let's see,' Jerry said. He took hold of Katya's arm and together they went back to the front door.

'I hate these people,' Katya said, when they reached the foyer.

'You don't know any of them,' Jerry said. 'With respect.'

'Oh believe me I do. They're the same old whores, fakes and fools. Only the names have changed.'

'Will you be leaving?' the valet wanted to know as they emerged from the house.

'No,' Jerry said. 'I was just showing my friend around the house. Do you know if there's a way down onto the beach?'

'Yes, of course. Just go back through the house—'

'We'd prefer not to go through the house.'