Jane and the Canterbury Tale

“How can you be so insensible, Aunt?” Fanny cried, as she set down the coffee pot with more decision than grace. “Only consider of the distress to Mrs. MacCallister, and all her relations. Her mother, and her brother.” She hesitated a little over the idea of Julian Thane, and cast a sidelong glance at Jupiter. “Good God—consider the feelings of her husband, the gallant Captain! I wonder that he or Mr. Thane did not call my father out, for the insult visited upon Adelaide!”

“I assume they have more wisdom, and less heat, than you do, Fanny. One does not challenge the Law to a duel—duels being entirely illegal in England at present.”

“You cannot believe her guilty, Aunt? No, no!—Father has merely fallen into the gravest error. It springs, no doubt, from the limitations of his sex,” she added thoughtfully. “For you and I will agree that no lady could shoot a man to whom she was once united in Holy Matrimony. It must be impossible! However one regards it—impossible!”

“Don’t know about that,” Jupiter drawled. “Known any number of ladies who were devilish fine shots, Fanny. And the gun was to hand, after all. Poor James is beside himself, ’course. Keeps saying he ought to have kept his pistols under lock and key! But I ask you! What possible use should they be to him then? Couldn’t have thought that any passing rum’un would borrow the gun to settle a grudge. Stands to reason! Man’s a gentleman, in his own home! I’ll tell you what it is, Fanny. Dashed impudence. Not to say bad ton. Ought to use one’s own pistol to shoot a feller.”

“Exactly so.” I settled myself at the breakfast table between the two of them, and availed myself of the rack of toast. “That is precisely the point I wished to canvass with you, Mr. Finch-Hatton—and I am thankful you saved me the trouble of introducing it! For I am persuaded that you are so well acquainted with James Wildman, that you must have an opinion on the subject. Why should any person employ James’s gun in a murder, and then leave it behind to incriminate that unfortunate young man?”

“See him hanged, ’course,” he returned with unexpected shrewdness.

I met his idle blue gaze, and detected a spark of interest in its depths. I began to wonder if the seductive Jupiter effected eternal boredom not because he was hopelessly dull, but because he found the bucolic environs of Kent a challenge unequal to his wits.

Fanny’s eyes widened. “Incriminate James? Whatever do you mean, Mr. Finch- Hatton?”

“Do try,” I urged, “to be a little less ingenuous, Fanny. I know that innocence is all the fashion in girls of your stamp—but it is a grave impediment to securing an intelligent partner in life! Obviously the murderer hoped to see James Wildman hanged. Else he—or she—should not have left the young man’s pistol where the constable must be sure to find it. I am in complete agreement with Mr. Finch-Hatton. But knowing Mr. Wildman so little as I do, I cannot apprehend why.”

Jupiter leaned back in his chair, so that the front legs of the spindly little article lifted several perilous inches from the carpet. His hands were thrust into his breeches pockets, and his eyes glinted lazily. “Needle-witted, ain’t you, ma’am?”

“Flatterer.” I took a draught of coffee; it was scalding, but I suppressed the impulse to choke. “If you know of any reason why Adelaide MacCallister should hate her cousin enough to attempt to kill two birds with one lead ball, I wish you may tell us, Mr. Finch-Hatton.”

“Adelaide? Lord—when she and James have been smelling of April and May for years together?” The chair legs met the floor with a decisive crash. “Grew up in each other’s pockets, y’know, Mrs. Thane being the sort to hang on Old Wildman’s sleeve once her loose-screw of a husband stuck his spoon in the wall. Never had two groats to rub together. Mrs. Thane used to leave Addie at the Castle for months at a time, being determined to spend her blunt on young Thane’s education. Hoped James would take Addie off her hands. That’s why she turned Tartar when the girl eloped with Fiske.”

I glanced at Fanny. “I had not realised Adelaide formed a part of the Castle household in her youth.”

Fanny shrugged. “She may have visited Kent from time to time—and that, for protracted periods—but it is not as tho’ the Wildmans adopted her. It is possible, however, that I was in ignorance of the extent of her ties to the family. Recollect that Adelaide is four years older than I, and among children, that is a considerable span. When I was but thirteen, and still in the schoolroom, Adelaide was married.”

Of course; tho’ neighbours, Fanny and Adelaide should never have been playmates. The fact of the former’s being the eldest child of a gentleman’s household, and the latter but a poor relation of another’s, should have widened the gulf between them.

“Did Mr. Wildman form an attachment for his cousin, do you think?” I demanded of Jupiter.

“Should say he had! Always stiled himself Addie’s devoted slave, long before Curzon Fiske bamboozled her in Bath. Thought he assumed he’d marry her, myself. Girl had other ideas. Regarded James as another brother. Could have knocked him over with a feather when she ran off with that scaly fellow. But James was only eighteen at the time—calf love, y’know—and I was sure he’d come about, provided Addie stayed on the Continent as she was meant to. But it didn’t serve. Three years later the Fiskes were back in Kent, and cutting quite a dash. Met them everywhere. Devilish bad for James, poor fellow. Didn’t like the cut of Fiske’s jib. Thought him a rum customer. And he was right, of course—Fiske ran straight into Dun Territory in the end, and had to flee the Kingdom. The Wildmans stood by Addie, ’course, and saw her set right with her mamma. Tho’ why she’d want to be—” he added reflectively, “when that Friday-faced woman never has a kind word for her—”

“And once Mr. Wildman knew Fiske to be in India—did he pursue his cousin?” I enquired bluntly.

Jupiter leaned across the table and lowered his voice. “Truth be told, he urged Adelaide to sue for divorce! Fearful scandal at the Castle—Old Mr. Wildman dead set against it, and none too eager to see his son hitched to an Adventuress, either. But it all came to nothing—Mrs. Thane wouldn’t hear of divorce. James was at a stand. Addie, too. Seemed likely to dwindle into a grass widow, at an age when most girls were dreaming of their bride- clothes.”

“The news of Mr. Fiske’s demise must have sprung upon the entire family as an act of Providence.”

“You’ve got that right and tight,” Jupiter agreed. “Never knew a man so transported as James, when he learnt Fiske was dead!”

“And yet, he did not succeed in securing the lady’s hand,” I mused.

“Mourning,” Jupiter confided owlishly. “Adelaide put on blacks for a year, of course, and shunned Society. Should have thought James would secure the girl’s affections, all the same—she saw rather a lot of him—but the fellow’s too dashed respectful by half, my opinion. Treats Addie as tho’ she were a goddess. Too reverent, in short. Lacks address.”

“I think James’s delicacy is entirely admirable!” Fanny flashed. “He is not the sort of harum-scarum Corinthian so much the rage at present.”

“Corinthians would never have him, Fanny!” Jupiter protested. “Doesn’t box, doesn’t fence, and he crowds his leaders when he drives four-in-hand! Friend of mine—but there it is! Poor fellow was entirely cast in the shade by Captain MacCallister, who knew the right way to go about the business with Adelaide, for all he’s nothing like Curzon Fiske. Well, I mean to say! Hero of the Peninsula! Devilish fine fellow! So of course James retired from the field. Put a cheerful phiz on events once the engagement was announced. Urged his papa to stand the ready for the wedding ball, and planned the best bits himself. Well—couldn’t expect his mamma to lift a finger! Never does! And those sisters of his, with their noses out of joint—complaining to any who’d listen that it was too bad Addie should be married twice, when they’ve never had so much as an offer between them! James did it all.” Finch-Hatton nodded significantly. “Those lobster patties, brought down Express from Gunter’s in London? James. Threw himself into making Adelaide happy. S’all he’s ever wanted, in fact—Adelaide to be happy. Should imagine the poor fellow’s blue-devilled at the turn in events—Adelaide being borne off to gaol! That’s why I came away so early this morning—don’t mind saying the tone of the Castle is dashed awkward at present.”

Fanny was staring at Jupiter with something like awe. I suppose she had never heard him put so many words together without pausing for breath.

“Mr. Wildman’s feelings, and his conduct in the face of bitterest disappointment, may be said to do him credit,” I observed. “I wonder that Adelaide did not return his regard.”

Jupiter managed one of his lazy smiles. “My opinion? Found the whole Chilham set-out too tame, after the madcap life she’d lived with Fiske. Always was a bit of a romp, Addie.